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No-one warned me about the terrible 3's!!!

(7 Posts)
Iamlosingit Wed 24-Oct-12 14:58:30

Help I am losing it, my just turned 3yr old ds is doing my head in! he has become bossy, cheeky, and defiante. I try the nice calm voice when asking him to do things, please dont push ur brother, please dont play with doors, please sit at the table etc etc etc. But when I have to ask or tell him to do something several times , I lose it and just shout at him. I cant help but think why? why are you making me ask/ tell you over & over again?. When I know he has heard me as he usually shouts back "NO" or something similar to me. Up until 4wks ago he was a pleasent boy, who I never really had to shout at. But we have moved house, spent too much time with the in laws, and are due baby no 3 in 4 wks, and I know, I do know that this will all have upset him. But how do I get back my nice little boy, before I completely head for a breakdown and pre/post natal depression. I feel everyday is a battle and all I do is shout.I just want to walk out the house say Fxxk it and be on my own for a few days. This is not the type of parent I want to be sad or the type of child I want my 16mth old ds to turn into. Any advice much appreciated

ditsydoll Wed 24-Oct-12 15:13:52

Age 3 is a hard age, my DD is almost 4 now and it has been a challenging year.

My daughter was always very well behaved and when she turned 3 it all seemed to start lol.

I had my days when I just felt like I had battled all day and felt so awful when I put her to bed sometimes. I found that being consistent with fair discipline (ie the naughty step) seemed to help.

She is an absolute joy to be around (most of the time) at almost 4. She started nursery a few months ago and that has helped as she isn't bored.

I'm expecting DC2 and the constant vomiting/fatigue has been hard for her as I haven't been myself so we've had a few strops and moods but she really has improved since the beginning of the year.

Unfortunately testing boundaries and pushing limits are all part of normal development, keep your cool and help guide him through this testing time. There will be light at the end of the tunnel.

ZombTEE Wed 24-Oct-12 15:26:39

At the age of 3 my son went from one who you could bribe to one whom you had to threaten.

Before 3 'Do X and you can do Y'

Age 3 'If you don't do X by the time I count, you will not get to do Y'

This too shall pass.

They don't call them threenagers for nothing!

Flojo1979 Wed 24-Oct-12 15:28:12

Oh u r all so lucky, my nearly 4 yr old started at about 20 months!
And still no sign of becoming slightly less volatile.

LateDeveloper Wed 24-Oct-12 15:53:16

Is now the time to tell you about the F**king Fours? <<runs and hides>>

midseasonsale Wed 24-Oct-12 19:17:51

I have heard some friends say that 3 was worse then 2. You have obviously had an awful lot of stress in your life though recently (moving IL's pregnancy, forthcoming birth) and so are probably not at your best. He is likely to be feeding off your stressed emotions. He is not making you do anything - you have chosen to shout at him. Take control - give him tons of your positive warm affection and attention, thank him for helping carry something, tell him how much you love him, spend time jumping i puddles with him, have lots of fun together and make him feel extra special. Time out and no attention for bad behavior. Shouting tells me you are out of control. Stay calm and fair and consistent at all times. You are the grown up and you can change things around. You know how lovely he really is. Hes had a lot of change too and is probably worried about the baby.

lljkk Thu 25-Oct-12 16:47:46

If you were properly warned that baby would never have been born at all. wink

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