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4 yr old lying/making up stories

(6 Posts)
peppajay Wed 24-Oct-12 13:59:22

My 4 yr old is always making up stories which in effect I suppose should be called lying. He has an extremely over active imagination and has 3 imaginary friends who he talks about and tells me where they are going and what they are doing. But he is coming home from school and saying things like 'Ben was sick so he went home today' and he wasnt and didnt and there were no girls at school today as they had to go to France to see the Eiffell tower. He also says things like 'Jack hurt him in the playground' and got sent to the head and I know that he didn't as I ask my older child.

Should I be concerned and is he telling lies or just letting his imagination run away with him?

Halfcups Wed 24-Oct-12 14:08:55

Hi there. Well I ve taught many four year olds and I have a four year old ds and I can say that vivid imaginations are very normal for this age. You may find he has lots of vivid dreams too. The word 'lying ' is a little strong for at this age they are trying to understand the difference between real and unreal. The boundaries are blurred. It is a good time to gently point out examples of both. I m assuming he is in Reception Class which is a huge time of transition and of making sense of a whole new world. Is he settling well and starting to make friends? Ask him to elaborate more on the comments he's making. He sounds like he has some great story making skills! I can't get the tone of your post. Are you worried about him?? Or frustrated by his comments? Tell me more....

peppajay Wed 24-Oct-12 14:29:34

I am not worried as such but obviously when he goes on adventures with his little imaginary friends I know it isn't real, but obviously when he says so and so was sick or something I know that isn't true I am not sure as a parent I should be teaching him not to tell lies or just puting it down to like you said he doesnt quite understand the difference between real and make believe yet. Yes he is in reception mornings only until the end of this week, we have had a few issues with him getting used to new routine but otherwise he seems fine. He has just come in from the other room and told me we won't be able to collect his sister from school today as there is a lion in the road!!!

midseasonsale Wed 24-Oct-12 19:28:49

lying shows a certain cognitive development. I found it upsetting too but relised that I had a very whizzy imaginative child aged 2. I expect thigns will calm down aged 7?

Halfcups Wed 24-Oct-12 19:39:58

I m loving the lion comment. That's brilliant! You should make a note of these comments when he s 22 you ll all look back so fondly on them! Bless him x

beanandspud Wed 24-Oct-12 21:18:33

Peppa I could have written your post, my 4yr old DS is exactly the same and trying to work out the fact from the fiction is driving me mad.

I keep speaking to him about the difference between 'stories' and 'lies' but it's really hard. He does have a great imagination but trying to work out what actually happened at school is difficult and I get frustrated when I get several variations of the truth in a couple of minutes. I am also concerned about general 'sillyness' and not sure if it is typical behaviour for a 4yr old or whether I should be worried that he is a pain in the neck at school.

Parents' evening tomorrow so hoping that his teacher can shed some light on what's going on.

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