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Tactics for 3 year old ignoring me

(8 Posts)
Ithinkineedtogrowapair Tue 23-Oct-12 23:53:34

This is probably not unusual! But my 3 yr old DS often just totally ignores me - eg at dinner tonight. 'pls DS can u sit on the chair to eat' repeat ad infinitum until I go faulty towers on him ( not proud of myself) and finally he complies but sulkily.
Sooo .. Strategies? Reward charts? More use of naughty corner? How to Contain my inner john Cleese? Help!
Ps some complicating factors to be aware of - split up from his father in feb also have 20 month old.

Hyperballad Tue 23-Oct-12 23:59:37

Ok, what I would do is get down to his eye level, hold his hands and say assertively but with a positive up beat tone 'can you be a really good boy for mummy, I need you to sit on that chair to eat your food, come on then!' then take him by the hand to the chair and go crazy mental with the 'good boy'. Speaking really slowly and calmly at all times. smile

That's how I would handle it.

Hyperballad Wed 24-Oct-12 00:01:53

I know that's easier said than done with a 20 month dashing about!

Ps: I'd love to see you do a John Cleese!

lindsell Wed 24-Oct-12 00:03:16

My 3.5yo ds has phases of this too, I usually ask once/twice nicely and then give him a final warning that if (in your example) he doesn't sit down his dinner will be taken away - he usually hears me that time wink on the occasional time that he tests me further and doesn't comply at that stage I always follow through with the consequence.

A course I went on about boys development/discipline suggested that bid respond better to touch as they can tune out your voice so it was suggested that you touch his arm when you speak - didn't work particularly for me but might be worth a try.

lindsell Wed 24-Oct-12 00:03:55

Bid - boys obviously

Hyperballad Wed 24-Oct-12 00:09:09

Yes to build on what lindell has just mentioned, that's why I said to hold his hands, hold them firmly and give them a little shake as you emphasise your words, if that makes sense!

Ithinkineedtogrowapair Wed 24-Oct-12 00:12:43

Thanks for the tips!! Interesting on the touch thing - he most certainly tunes out my voice and instead tries to distract me with some subject of extreme importance hmm

steppemum Wed 24-Oct-12 00:41:36

would agree with hyper and lindsell. Also you need to expect a response. Often we say something 20 times and actually you need to say it once, and expect response.

for example, at table, I might say please sit on your chair to eat (and agree with above about put hand on arm, get his attention before you speak etc) if he doesn't I would quietly take away his plate and put it at other end of table. Suddenly I have his attention. Repeat. Please sit on your chair. Child sits, plate returns
I know this doesn't work if they don't want to eat. And I don't make it 'punishment' or threaten it (if you don't sit I will take away your food etc) it is just a very quiet follow through on what I have asked.

I am also a great believer that small children (and my youngest is nearly 5 and when she is tired I would still do this) small children often don't respond well to our voice, they don't do as they are told, and need to be physically 'encouraged' to do it
so, please pick up your toys. got to him and take hand and say it again put a toy in his hand to put in box

But hey I have an inner John Cleeses who appears daily regularly

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