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Am I expecting too much of my 2.8 year old to fall asleep alone.

(15 Posts)
Girlsville Tue 23-Oct-12 12:56:53

Dd1 is 2.8 and likes me to sit in her rom until she falls asleep at night. It only takes about 5 or 10 min as she is dropping her nap and exhausted so I actually don't mind, but she is fine to go to sleep by herself of dh or the nanny or her grandparents put her to bed. It's just me she wants to sit with her!
Am I making a tod for ,y own back ( on days where she does nap it is more difficult) or will she jsutgrow out of this at some point in the not too distant future?

DejaB00 Tue 23-Oct-12 13:23:42

Hey
I have no answer but my 2y6m DS is exactly the same, except it takes up to 45 mins, nightmare! He was absolutely fine since 3 months old until he was 2, he would just settle himself in his cot. At 2 the cot bars came off and all hell broke loose, he gets up time and time again if I don't sit with him.
Will be watching this thread!

Girlsville Tue 23-Oct-12 13:28:19

S
Reassuring that I am not alone!
It's so frustrating as my 17 month old dd2 just lies down, I walk out and that's it!

MaryPoppinsBag Tue 23-Oct-12 13:33:05

You've answered your own question if your 17 MO can do it so can your older one!

RillaBlythe Tue 23-Oct-12 13:35:18

I dunno, I think a younger baby will fall asleep alone where an older one won't because they are younger! My 4 yo used to fall asleep alone, then needed someone with her. Now she will fall asleep alone again but prefers someone with her.

Have you tried the 'just going for a wee' approach?

MouMouCow Tue 23-Oct-12 13:35:58

The second child is always easier I've heard and experienced... If it works for you why change the routine? I'm sure that as a teenager she won't want you to sit in her room, not even for 5 minutes!
What I mean is that your routine seems fine at present, let her grow out of it in her own time.

megandraper Tue 23-Oct-12 13:37:19

Mine are slow-learners about this as well. But have got there with the older two, so only 16mo DD left to train....

With my older two, the way I did it was to start to pop out while they were going to sleep. I'd say I was just going to the loo, or just going to have a quick shower, or going to put the washing on etc. etc. To begin with, I'd go out of the room for just a minute or so, then gradually increase the time. Eventually they began to fall asleep while I was out.

They still want me to sit with them though! But are quite accepting of the fact I don't (unless they're ill).

sununu Tue 23-Oct-12 13:37:29

hmm, well I am still sitting nightly with ds3, who is nearly 5. he too is fine when I am out but when I am in the house he likes me to stay and sing to him and sometimes hold hands til he falls asleep. first two I was much stricter about sleeping (basically because I was dealing with a baby while they were toddlers so it wasn't an option) and they never needed this. so yes, I suppose I have created a rod for my own back, but I actually rarely mind and I feel I could get strict and cut it out if I really needed, but is is rather a precious quiet time and it won't be for ever. i feel that I got hung up with what ds1 'should' be doing and caused us both some stress with crying it out etc, and by #3 felt more confident just to do what works for us.

Girlsville Tue 23-Oct-12 13:39:27

Rills and Monmouth i agree. Dd2 self settled herself for naps and bed pretty much from week 1, the consequence of being a second baby with a 15 month age gap.
I know, I keep thinking is there any need to change it if it is only a few mins she goes to bed happy, I am therefore relaxed, nice way to end day etc. was just hoping someone would tell me that their dc grew out ofit by school age, as don't wa t to be in her room forever, and she clearly can fall asleep alone as does it when anyone else puts her to bed!

PuffPants Tue 23-Oct-12 13:43:32

I lie on the floor next to DS as he goes to sleep. It doesn't bother me. It won't last forever. When DH does it he nods off himself. I usually play with my phone.

DS is also 2.8 but in a cot still - I can't be doing with moving to a bed, just asking for trouble!

Girlsville Tue 23-Oct-12 13:44:56

Dd1 also in cot, but moving to bed this weeks she is too big for it! Thanks or all the useful advice from everyone!

MaryPoppinsBag Tue 23-Oct-12 16:39:58

Just to be awkward my first settled better than my second. And could sleep on a washing line with a knot for a pillow.
He was just much easier in every aspect. I didn't know what'd hit me when I had DS2! And I have friends who feel their first was easier too.

DS2 (3.6) would have me stay if I allowed but by 8pm I am done in and I've just had enough of children! (childminder who starts at 6.30 some mornings!)

She obviously doesn't need you if other people can put her down and walk out.
Maybe it's just that she feels she needs your attention. Which could be because if her sibling.

MacMac123 Tue 23-Oct-12 18:14:02

You all have the patience of saints!!
I would just refuse to do sitting and leave the room, even if it caused tears! Obviously I would return if there was distress ( but prob only to say stop being silly!)
Dunno but is it a delaying tactic in an older child? My DS (4) does anything he can to string out bedtime, ie needs a drink, wants to fetch me a cushion to put behind my back when I read to him, has developed a fear of the towel hanging on back of his door.
I am very strict about all of these things as otherwise I'd be upstairs doing bedtime for an hour and you ladies are nobler than me as I just can't handle that!!!

MacMac123 Tue 23-Oct-12 18:14:24

Ps and I was the same when he was 2.8

Kiwiinkits Tue 23-Oct-12 23:46:18

what bedhopper said.

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