Neighbours kids screaming(22 Posts)
Hi next door has her son and 2 grand daughters living with her aged 6 and 8 since his relationship ended now I know kids where upset and what happened and only see their mum at the weekend and we have tried to be patient but the constant screaming and crying all day but mostly in the morning because they don't want to get up is getting unbearable bad enough the kids making a lot of noise but the dad screams and shouts now I am a parent myself and I can't ever remember my kids being as bad husband and I both work shifts especially nightshift and its disturbing our peace tried banging on the wall and yelling shut up at the top of my voice not much fun when their screaming is waking our kids up my neighbour is always apologising but it's not her fault I feel sorry for her the son takes advantage of her and she's in her 60s he expects her to run after the 2 brats while he watches telly and plays on his Xbox she would love them to move out and get their own place but she won't throw them out with no where too go and he needs her for after school care etc when he's at work they have been there for over 6 months and doubt he has any intentions of moving out ..he knows he's on too a good thing ....any advice would be greatly appreciated
You bang on the wall?! I'd let my kids scream all the more if you did that to me.
Go round and offer some genuine support and practical help
to the poor woman.
You could offer to have the children for tea, take them a toy or a DVD your kids have grown out of to keep them occupied.
What your neighbour does about her son is, I'm sure you know, none of your concern.
I have banged on the wall out of frustration when their screaming at. 6 in the morning and waking my kids up who are not much older you would do the same ..and my neighbour is an oap who is left to cope the rest of her family has told him too move out but he knows he's on to a good thing ... Trust me its soul destroying when it's everyday
Full stops are your friend. It is impossible to read your post.
Is 6 in the morning too early? Is someone trying to get them up at that time?
Yes ...the dad has to get them washed and dressed and fed before he leaves for work ... The old granny was getting left too do everything ......I could cope with the kids crying ...I wouldn't like to get up at that time every morning ...it's his shouting ..more bellowing and roaring at them ...almost abusive ..and the more they scream and cry the louder he gets ....
No, I'm sorry, the 'Old Granny' (in her 60's! FFS does she know you think of her as an old granny?) is NOT being left to do everything.
The children's father is doing his best to ensure that his children are washed, dressed and fed before he leaves for work in the morning.
If he was leaving the 'Old Granny' to do everything, he'd get himself up, washed and fed and head off out without doing anything with the kids. Sounds to me as though he's doing what he can. He's also working, so presumably paying is mum for their keep while they're there.
It is none of your business, OP.
But it is my business when she's telling me she can't cope !! And he was basically seeing to himself ...and leaving his mum to do everything....
It's still not your business though, beyond offering to help her with the kids there isn't really much you can do..
i can understand how annoying and distressing this situation must be.
if i were in your shoes, i would definitely offer help. would that be possible for you to do?
I really feel for my neighbours as we have a baby at the moment and she yells at 6 every morning whilst we go and get her bottle, the Walls are paper thin however, they have children who were babies once and theirs presumably cried too. I'd be dreadfully upset if they banged on the Walls though.
6am . Omg dread to think what my neighbours think of my when my 3yr old is up at 5am!!! However my neighbours have never banged on wall or shouted - yet. Have some compassion for what is a difficult situation and for what is none of your business
You scream 'shut up'. You bang on the wall. You describe them as 'little brats'? Their parents' relationship has broken down, I assume they miss their mother, they are children and you talk about them like that? Wow, you sound lovely OP. What with you and their dad shouting at them I bet they feel great about themselves.
What about offering some actual practical help? Or if you really do think it is 'abusive' then ring SS.
Please find some full stops.
Of course it's OP's business when she's woken up by their screaming at 6am.
Don't know what the answer is though - it sounds like the dad is the key to all this. Do you know him at all, or do you just know the granny? What kind of person is he, would he respond to discussion do you think?
No, no I really wouldn't do the same. I genuinely would offer her some help. I strongly suggest you do the same. Some children are loud. Your children probably sounded just as loud to her when they were that age.
Maybe you need to try walking in your neighbours shoes and then maybe you could understand that they are obviously doing their best within a very difficult time for them all, emotionally, practically and doing their best to cope with everything.
The impact on any child with the separation from a parent, moving home, poss new schools, dad working and coping as best he can to do right by his family and his mum is helping and supporting as best she can....the noise is relative to what you might expect from young children who are emotionally going through a very fraught and difficult time...and their dad too in managing to cope with everything.
Could you attempt to view this from their perspective and be more compassionate and possibly even supportive at all????
You are upset about being a little disturbed on occasion...you post on here about it too....how do you think their upset is for them then???...do you see this is much harder for them than it is for you?...have a heart OP...tolerance and compassion
btw..my mother is 75yrs old and recently retired from full-time work and is often mistaken for much younger...60yrs is not old imo...I puzzle over your description of a 60 yr old being unable to manage 2 youngsters as though this is ancient and rendering the woman useless????
In an ideal world perhaps they would be better off in their own home...have you any idea what difficulties this entails for a family?...1 income, high rents, etc, etc. I think you will find they are making the best of a very difficult situation tbh...again, maybe you need to try walking in their shoes for 5mins
It's not just the children being loud though is it?
"could cope with the kids crying ...I wouldn't like to get up at that time every morning ...it's his shouting ..more bellowing and roaring at them ...almost abusive"
matter of opinion though isn't it?....I mean is this actually as bad as the OP says and is it bad language and abusive bellowing? or a parent coping and they are all feeling overwhelmed and a bit lost?....if so then maybe the SW need to be called in to investigate if it's that bad????
SW would do visits into schools and home and offer supports if needed, etc...maybe the OP needs to decide which is the greater issue here too...is it the disturbance to OP or is it a greater issue of safety and well-being of these children...the OP doesn't sound like it is coming from a concerned view for the kids in these posts imo ... I don't get a feeling of actual concern for the family or the children from this thread...more about banging on walls and shouting 'shut up', etc
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