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How the heck do I stay calm and positive with 2yo?

(11 Posts)
ZombieTribble Fri 19-Oct-12 17:35:25

I am seriously loosing the will to live, ds is a lively little boy and full of energy. We go to a lot of groups, at which I spend the vast majority of my time seemingly telling him not to do XYZ.

I honestly don't want to be a shouty horrible Mum (my own Mother was shocking in the way she handled us, so not a great model there). If he does something wrong he does get told off, I put him on his bottom or remove him from the situation. I'm finding myself feeling more and more pushed and reacting out of sheer frustration instead of being calm.

I'm also twenty one weeks pregnant which isn't helping matters. I'm not sleeping and am now knackered.

Any tips, books or anything that will help me stay sane.

Choufleur Fri 19-Oct-12 17:40:16

Try to focus on the positives. Tell him when he does something really well/nice/what you want. Tell him what you would like him to do when you get to places so that he knows what is expected.

He won't always get it right but try to pick your battles

Bearandcub Fri 19-Oct-12 17:43:37

I wish I knew too OP.

Not v helpful but you are not alone

MerylStrop Fri 19-Oct-12 17:47:30

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Social-Toddler-Promoting-Behaviour/dp/1903275385

this book is great. it's not a manual and isn't about techniques but it is BRILLIANT for helping you to understand things from small child's perspective

i also find that if I pretend (to myself) that I don't care, it's easier to be relaxed about it.

Getting yourself a day off now and then helps too

Bearandcub Fri 19-Oct-12 17:47:37

Also, cut yourself some slack. You're pregnant and tired and toddlers can smell weakness.

I'm sure you're doing a great job. He is healthy, generally happy, sometimes listens, occasionally does wonderful things that surprise you?
Yes? You did that.

The rest he gets from his father...

hoviscat Fri 19-Oct-12 17:52:08

Another one here to say I wish I knew the answer! Sorry I am not helping, just commiserating....

My ds is gorgeous, fun and very loving but drives me bonkers. Meal times are our major stress point at the moment.... Won't stay sat down in high chair but in a normal chair he is just so wriggly. All combined with a fussy eating phase and spitting out half chewed food that he decides he doesn't fancy...

The other thing currently driving me mad is the running off at every opportunity....

I am going to order the book 'toddler taming' tonight, as well as some decent reins!

EarnestDullard Fri 19-Oct-12 17:59:40

Sympathies OP, I was so ratty with DD (2.5yo) when I was pregnant. Hormones and general tiredness just meant my patience seemed to go out the window. I'd feel awful afterwards. They're still just little really, and they're not doing it deliberately to irritate us.

The only thing I can say is that it seems to get better after birth, once the hormonal element is removed.

happygilmore Fri 19-Oct-12 18:29:27

I definitely agree with praising the positives (easier said than done sometimes). We've made a real effort to praise DD for doing things well recently and she seems to have responded to it really well. I try and make sure I praise her for specific things e.g. listening, waiting, letting me change her nappy and not just "being good" which is probably too complicated for her to understand.

I also give her stickers occasionally through the day as a reward for being good and this seems to have helped a lot.

ZombieTribble Fri 19-Oct-12 20:22:13

Oh maybe I'll try the stickers approach, he loves stickers and crafty bits. He will literally shake with excitment at the arts and craft table at toddlers (when he's not trying to eat the paint), saying 'wow!'.

Earnest Hopefully, he's just all over me as well. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it's elbows in the boobs and feet in the bump which really hurt.

Valdeeves Sun 21-Oct-12 07:31:41

I have a son who's nearly three and had a baby two months ago. Being pregnant with a toddler was so hard. You can guide them but a lot if their behaviour is just about growing older too. My son was tough going everywhere we went and I had to take him for two full on physical activities a day to get him to sleep at night. Towards the end (had a prem baby at 33 weeks) I was beyond exhausted as was on
The loo all night so I opted for a quiet morning and a mid morning to around 3/4 activity then we would come home and would let him watch CBeebies and I'd cuddle him in a spooning way then fall asleep so I knew he was safe. I used to give myself a 40 - 45 minute nap that way as I literally couldn't stay awake. Sometimes if was being particulary hard work in the mornings I'd get him straight out - have that sleep after lunch and then do drawing and indoor stuff to help my groggy self get through the rest of the day. Once you have the baby and recover you'll have a bit more physical (well some!) energy to deal with them again although your temper will be shorter! Xxxx

Valdeeves Sun 21-Oct-12 07:35:23

I wouldn't worry too much and just work on physically coping is what I'm trying to say - once you've had the baby behaviour will ramp right up so it might be worth using your sticker charts then.

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