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How do you keep calm when your terrible two is tantrumming?!

(7 Posts)
lisbapalea Fri 19-Oct-12 13:44:54

Does anyone have any tips on how to stay calm when a 2yr old is throwing a wobbler?

I have had two MASSIVE tantrums from my DD (2yrs 7mths) today and I know that I didn't handle them well, and ended up screaming almost as loudly as she did, and I actually ended up in tears at one stage.

I know advice is often to leave them to it, but with flagstone floors downstairs and a child who is prone to causing herself to vomit with the smallest amount of tantrum-style crying, I feel like I have to stay close.

I am pretty sure I should go for the distratction technique rather than getting worked up with the thing that caused the tantrum in the first place (usually something as benign as being told she can't do something, or that I would like her to sit still, is the trigger), but I feel like recently I just am losing the skills I thought I once had!

Any advice or consolation would be brilliant, thanks!

naturalbaby Fri 19-Oct-12 13:56:36

I really struggle when my dc's scream and shout for no apparent reason. I try to keep in mind that it's a cry for help and walking away/moving them away can distress them more but a lot of the time that's what I do!

I have a 20month old and a just 3 yr old - my 20month old gets put in his cot with his comforters because there is no reasoning with him, then he gets a cuddle when he's calmed down.
My 3yr old has a thinking step so I tell him to go and calm down. I sit with him and keep telling him that when he's stopped screaming and shouting then I can help him and talk to him properly. Then when he's calmed down we talk nicely and I remind him several times that this is better than screaming and shouting and if he wants something he just has to talk to me nicely. If he wants something he can't have then we talk about why and when he can have it or why he can't - I make him repeat what I've told him to make sure he's listening and has understood. I've been doing this for a while with him - he's had a lot of tantrums!

plantsitter Fri 19-Oct-12 13:57:15

Distraction only goes so far and by 2.7 often not far enough!

Move her away from the stone floor and sit nearby, if you feel you ought to, reading a magazine.

smearedinfood Fri 19-Oct-12 18:34:56

I found the book Happiest Toddler on the Block quite good. Just gives you techniques to try and use...

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 19-Oct-12 20:24:44

Will second the happiest toddler book but really, you need to keep calm and if you can't, remove yourself.

smearedinfood Fri 19-Oct-12 20:31:09

Although have to admit to not being the perfect toddler. Snotty noses today and had a tantrum so bad that he vomitedsad but mostly fairly good

Titchyboomboom Sat 20-Oct-12 23:21:20

I get on with stuff and repeat every 30 seconds or so 'Come to me when you are finished and are ready for a cuddle'... really I don't invest emotionally in it, I can't or I would go crackers. I stay nearby but don't look at her really, and don't talk to her. I make sure she is safe, and calmly remove things if she starts throwing.

I take this approach because approaching her makes her worse.....

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