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5 year old ds tried to kill himself last week

(16 Posts)
pinkum Thu 18-Oct-12 18:10:17

hello. im feeling a bit down. i have 2 boys 1 age 5 hyperactive one 5 yaers diagnosed with adhd, anxiety and enuresis. he tried to strangle himself at school on perpous. nearly stopped breathing, told the teacher he wanted to die cos his lifes too hard. (he worries about what people are going to do to him, he worries about eveything.) we got sent to cams mental health who told us they didnt want to make a big deal out of it and that were doing a great job. so weve been signed off by them and the school is freeking out and i have this stupid school nurse who keeps winding me up. its such a mess. im trying to be calm but today they baught him out howling and told me he'd been crying most of the afternoon because he didnt understand something. iv taken some calms and camomile tea. im not going on medication but im finding it very hard at the moment. both my boys together are realy hard work, and i dont mean that there just boys either, it drives me mad when they say that. i havent written down eveything itd take too long and i cannot be arsed. im just fed up with noone helping or telling me what evryone else should do and nagging me to nag them and then being told not to worry. how can i not fing worry?

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 18:48:58

As a mother of an 11 yr old boy who has ADHD and incontinance of the number 2`s i understand your frustration, My son is also under CHAMS but they are really good with me and my son, maybe ask to change his specialist within the organisation ? My son was put on ritalin which worked for a short while then onto concherta which also led him to have tourettes ( physical tics not the shouting out) but is now on stretarta which is working for him for now, and has calmed his tics down, is your son on medication ?. The first school i had my son in was useless apart from not believing that ADHD was a real illness they did little to help, once i moved schools they were brilliant in helping. Mayb try another school or there are speicalist schools out there that deal with children with aspergers ADHD ODD etc...
Feeling down and helpless is how i felt for a long time but it does get better, nagging him wont help as ADHD is a brain defect so it wont compute no matter how loud you shout or how many times you say it. Kids with ADHD also have memory probs where they forget what you have told them.

QuickLookBusy Thu 18-Oct-12 18:53:16

I'm so sorry, I don't have any experience of this but just wanted to give you a hug.

It must be so so hard and you're doing our best and of course you're going to worry about him. I hope other people come along to help you.x

pinkum Thu 18-Oct-12 19:09:15

hello, im not nagging my boy, sorry that came out wrong im trying to nag cams but getting nothing. i just feel adrift. the schools lovely though

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 19:34:07

Hi pinkum, maybe get the school to ring the CHAMS ? explaining how bad it is, i found that people who are "profesionals" have more clout than us parents.

pinkum Thu 18-Oct-12 20:01:55

cams wont speek to the school, they say its confidential, and its up to us to relay messages to the school and tell them what we want them to know. profesionals? W...kers. seams like theyre leaving me and my husband to sort it all out on our own but hey i suppose we know him best.

amillionyears Thu 18-Oct-12 20:51:34

Am bumping this for you.
Have no idea who can help,sorry,but someone needs to.

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 21:01:16

Oh dear seems like every turn you take ya met with a brick wall, i didn`t have any probs when the schools headmaster rang my sons specialist, but i guess every specialist is different, sorry i couldn`t be more help tho and hope you get the help your family needs.

amillionyears Thu 18-Oct-12 22:15:51

op,if I were you I would post again in the special needs topic.If no joy there,post on Mental Health,and if no joy there,post in chat.
Or even email MNHQ asking for their help about where is best to post.
Good luck.

CitrusyOne Fri 19-Oct-12 23:13:04

Pinkum, I'm a SENCo and Camhs are well known for not sharing info for 'confidentiality'. Everyone else has to share info but getting anything out of them is like getting blood out of a stone. Hope you do manage to find some help or support somewhere x

Kleinzeit Sat 20-Oct-12 10:45:57

Since the school are trying to be helpful… Would someone from CAMHS come along if the school arranged a “multidisciplinary meeting” and invited them?

pinkum Sun 21-Oct-12 19:13:57

got a letter form camhs , they totaly skirted it. sent it out to the peaditrician, school and docter said he was slightly purple when in the report from the teacher it said he was the most awful shade of purple, they also said he had said he wanted to prove death wasnt a person, but he also said he wanted to die because his life is just too hard. they total skirted it. it feels like they just couldnt sihn him off if they put all that down so they didnt. all the other people that are involved said they though he was being palmed off but i said no they know what there doing and now this. i have the family mental health guy comming round tomorrow and the ed psyc in the afternoon. im sick if this sh.t.

LateDeveloper Sun 21-Oct-12 19:23:06

oh pinkum this sounds very scary. It is not surprising you are stressed about your poor confused little man. And it is so tough when you don't get good support. It is so hard to get everyone together and having to deal with paperwork and passing on it on all over the place when you are so upset sucks.

When a child has additional needs I know that you can arrange to have a team around the chilkd (TAC) meeting where you plus all the profs involved with your dc meet up to discuss how best to proceed (the child is not present so all can speak more freely).
Your local authority may have a parent partnership set up to help parents navigate the system (there are paid by local authority but are supposed to be independent).
Please come over to the Special Needs: Children Section - we've seen it all over there between us

pinkum Mon 22-Oct-12 19:26:27

how do i find the special needs section. sorry to be thick im just pooped, had 2 more meetings today 2 more tomorrow. thankyou for the kind words

amillionyears Mon 22-Oct-12 19:50:48

Press on the "Full Talk Topics List" at the bottom of this page
It lists all the topics on MN. 1 of them is "Special Needs". If you press on that one,one of them is the childrens one. Let me know if you get stuck.

pinkum Tue 23-Oct-12 20:32:04

hello again iv posted a message on the special needs board entitled going mad. see you over there.

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