Lying about punishment/violence(3 Posts)
Please help...my 8 year old son has told my Sister that my partner and I hit him accross the face and shout at him when he is naughty.
Now we are strict with him when it comes to manners and keeping the house tidy (because it is a rabbot hutch) and voices are raised at the last possible resort. There was a single incident on holiday thsi year when he said a filthy word to my partner and she did lightly tap him on the cheek afterwhich she felt terrible and cried for ages but this has never happened before or since.
He is going through a stage of being very rude to us both, so much so that my relationship with him has almost deteroriated into nothing, I am his Dad and no longer feel I can talk to him.
My sister is really concerned about what he has said and I have no idea how to approach my son about this?
Any advice from parents who have gone through this?
He isn't really lying though. He was hit across the face and he does get shouted at. If your partner hit him across the face in anger then I seriously doubt it was a light tap and her feeling bad and crying after doesn't change the fact it happened. Hitting a child across the face is not acceptable at all.
It sounds like you have all got yourself into a viscious circle. He wants attention, does something naughty, gets attention, you can't talk to him because he is being naughty, he craves attention, does something naughty.....and on it goes.
Try and flip it so you are more or less ignoring bad behaviour and giving him lots of attention when he is being good.
Sounds like the problem is that the relationship is suffering more than what he's said.
I wouldn't bother dealing with what he's said. After all, there is some truth to it. And deal with the problem behind it which is his (and your) unhappiness.
He needs more love and reassurance, I'd guess he's testing you.
I was hit lightly a couple of times as a child of that age and I still feel upset and let down all these years later that my parents could abuse the trust I had in them to protect me from that. Could you bring it up and tell him you know that was wrong and that it won't ever happen again?
Hope things get better for you. Don't give up on your relationship with him.
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