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7 Year Old Girl with attitude

(13 Posts)
Pixie171717 Tue 16-Oct-12 14:51:26

My daughter will be 7 in November and for the past year we have struggled with her stubborness and attitude. Mornings are worse. She doesnt have any concept of time or how long it takes to do things. We have a constant row about shoes, socks, clothes, lables, the right amount of milk on the cereals, cleaning teeth, brushing hair, showering. She does all of these things but in her own time. I would have to get her up at 6am if she was to complete all these morning things in her own time. She also refuses to go to bed and never appears tired. Its a constant battle and anger takes over on both sides just to complete the most basic of things. I am upset and saddened by her behaviour, she had a sister (9) who is quite self sufficient and is hitting hormones but generally lovely. My youngest is cuddly and adorable the other times, we have a very interactive life with the children and absolutely love school and have many friends. Any advice greatly apprecieated.

BegoniaBigtoes Tue 16-Oct-12 15:00:49

Instead of rowing over each little thing, give her a list of the tasks to be done each morning, (getting dressed, teeth, bag ready etc) and she ticks them off herself when they're done. Tell her if she's not ready, she'll be late and you'll explain to the teacher why - and follow that through. Try to stay calm and hand over the responsibility to her. Remind her now and again that she needs to get it all done, then step back. Having to be late may get through to her, and/or reward her - if she can do it all on time for a whole week, she'll get a treat etc.

Could you also move the shower to the night before?

Not sure what to do about the bedtime thing but maybe that could go in the reward system too. Or she goes up to her room in pjs at X time, she doesn't have to go to bed but she does have to read/play until she's ready to sleep.

sheeesh Tue 16-Oct-12 15:13:27

We are in exactly the same position with DD 7. (maybe it's a phase?)

Everything is a battle. She will push and push until I get annoyed even when I clearly ask her to stop and warn her I'm close to losing my temper.

And the attitude! The disrespectful tone! Drives me mad angry

So no words of advice...just...you're not alone smile

Afsana1 Tue 16-Oct-12 19:25:57

I'm in the same boat! My dd is 7 and drives me crazyangry with eyes rolling and tuttering etc! She also is hopeless in the morning I end up dressing her myself! When you get the answer let me know!

AshieFan Tue 16-Oct-12 19:47:18

This is a bit drastic but a friend of mine did the following - she did warn the school first though: left her to her own devices and when she was not ready, friend just bundled her into the car and to school. Never happened again. Friends daughter always ready in plenty of time. Not sure that I could have done that.

Similar to the above idea, it might be helpful to do a visual timetable backed onto velcro for her that she can put up the night before with you and as she does a task all by herself she peels it off? Then when she does it all by a specific time, she gets a reward or points towards a reward. Also, can she shower the night before?

Ineedalife Tue 16-Oct-12 21:17:38

My Dd has aspergers and used to be totally unable to get herself ready in the mornings, she also dislikes going to school.

Our mornings were horrible, I was stressed, she was stressed.

Someone on the special needs children board recommended a visual time table with step by step instructions on card with velcro as ashie has said.

Since starting it Dd is able to get herself ready completely independently, our mornings are stress free and actually quite pleasant.

Not suggesting that your Dd has aspergers but if it can work for my Dd it can work for anyone. She is definitely what you would call challenginggrin

Give it a whirl and good lucksmile

Wolfiefan Tue 16-Oct-12 21:21:22

Bath at night? Anything else you can do before the morning?
Leave breakfast till last? Late? Well grab some fruit!

Startailoforangeandgold Tue 16-Oct-12 22:45:00

Agree that showering in a morning is incomprehensible madness. As is showering every night at 7.

Generally it's quickest just to treat awkward 7y like babies and dress them.

malibulucy Tue 16-Oct-12 23:19:26

my daughters 6 definately developing the tutting eyes rolling general attitude its frustrating. my daughter would shower/bath the night before. shes never really hungry in the mornings so its an actimel yoghurt or fruit on the walk to school. she gets dressed herself but i always do her hair (she could but quicker & looks better when i do). i found pampering to her only makes it worse. we have a rule no tv in the morning til you're ready for school so shes pretty quick. never had problems at bedtime but i sit on her bed & let her read her school book before lights out as its easier for her to focus when upstairs together & chills her out a bit. i used to let her have a dvd in bed & she knew when it finishes it was bedtime but some people may disagree with tv's in bedrooms :/

Pixie171717 Fri 19-Oct-12 08:27:17

Just want to say a big thanks to you all for your replies and suggestions, its nice to know that I am not on my own. I am going to try with the list of things for her to tick off in the morning, we have had some better mornings but I am sure this encourage her to get dressed. I know its a phase she is going through but when you are living it you cant see the end. Many thanks to you all

MrsB1 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:22:47

I've just come accross this thread and could have written it myself. My DD is 9, mornings and bedtimes are anightmare, and her genral attitude is appauling. I am at my witsend too-just wanted you to know you're not alone

Musomathsci Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:19

Nephew was like this. BIL bundled him in to the car in underpants for the school run. He never played up in the morning again...

meerkatmum Tue 23-Oct-12 14:57:03

My DD 7 forgets her routine and moves slowly every single morning, which was proving very frustrating for me until I read an article that says 7 years olds need constant reminders to do even the most simpliest or mundant tasks. Now, as she goes along with her routine I reminder her (and reminder her) what she needs to do next - it's still frustrating that I have to do this, but as I have no expectations that she will remember or move quickly we now avoid the associated stress. Good luck!

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