18 months old - start of trantrums and very bizarre demands

[MouMouCow]

DS is 18 months old. He can ride a scooter, can say a multitude of words, even in other languages and he has recently started tantrums. I'm not particularly brilliant as I just give in... As a result DS eats far too many ice creams of late.
Anyway, one aspect of this development I find very bizarre is that he has an obsession with his socks. Can't stand wearing matching socks, doens't want to remove 1 sock prior to taking his bath or going to bed... Obvioulsy for bath time, we remove the offending sock but he then launches himself outside the tub and we don't get to wash his hair... I leave him to sleep with his sock and remove it when he's alseep...
How much should I fight these things? And how to you rationalise or negotiate with a 18 months old. I'd rather he kept his sock in the bathtube but let us wash his hair then remove the sock and get nothing done....
Any advice please?

[Lovewearingjeans]

Perhaps he could take his sock off and wash it in the bath? I think just go along with it as long as it is reasonable. To me matching socks aren't the be all and end all. Say that he needs to wear new ones every day, then let him get on with it.

[MouMouCow]

Thanks Lovewearing jeans...it's just that the advice re tantrums is to ignore, ignore, ignore, I'm not sure if he uses the sock obsession to get out of getting his hair washed, but that's the end result... We don't try to match them anymore and he gets to pick his socks in the morning it's more that the sock incident gets in the way of a solid bath routine where suddenly, we are not doing a proper bath routine...Is he playing us?

[CecilyP]

Who knows what goes on their heads. What's the worst that can happen if you let him wear a sock in the bath. Could you just remove the wet sock afterwards and replace with a dry one for bed?

[Lovewearingjeans]

I don't know about him playing you. For his own reasons socks are important to him, he could have worse obsessions! I have worked with toddlers and have seen worse just remember it is a stage, and you can embaress him when he is older.

[diyqueen]

I'd say pick your battles and try to do it with reason and consistency - i.e. no socks in the bath, as he needs to have his feet washed and you'll be left with wet socks to sort out, but sleeping in one sock isn't going to do any harm, or wearing mismatched socks. And ice-creams - just decide (in general, in advance) when you're happy for him to have one and stick to it. Dd is 18mo and I've learned with her there's no point trying to reason/negotiate - our best results come from me deciding what the (reasonable) rules are, sticking to them and letting her shout if she's not happy about it.

[Sparklyboots]

Not sure about your specific sock etc. stuff but just wanted to say we don't do ignore, ignore, ignore with our 21mo because I think he's in genuine distress during a tantrum. It doesn't mean he just gets his way but we do try to be kind and acknowledge his frustration. As he becomes more verbal, he is more and more calmed by my saying to him 'I can see that you wanted x...' etc.

[ClareMarriott]

You might want to watch the ice cream bit, but one of my sister's used to go to bed in a hat when she was really young ( and did grow out of it ! )

[MouMouCow]

Many Thanks Ladies.
We are trying to turn the ice cream into a proper treat, so once a week only! Not easy as we walk home passing a great ice cream place where DS knows all the staff and they are all mad about him so even offer free ice cream when ever they see him...

As for the bath issue and the sock. We let him wear his socks in the bath but can't wash his hair anymore. He won't cooperate and it's impossible (I find) to wash his hair without a little bit of cooperation....

Sparkly I agree with your post. I have started to voice why I think DS gets frustrated (mostly not being able to ride on trains every day and ice cream) and he seems to calm down simply by hearing what it is he wants and why he can't get it.... it's only with the bath, I don't know why suddenly he refuses to get his hair washed, have tried to explain he'd feel so much better with clean hair but nothing is working... he does not want to be in a bath anymore...

[Lovewearingjeans]

Could you use a plastic watering can and try and grow him maybe, or choose bath toys as his treat for having his hair washed.

[Sparklyboots]

A few weeks of not getting a 'proper wash' won't hurt him. Why not let him off for a while? Take him to the swimming pool and dowse him in mildly chlorinated water if you are concerned about germs. (FWIW I've washed the front part of DSs (1.10) hair with actual shampoo maybe twice - I don't think you can tell.) Your DS might appreciate the feeling of being able to draw a boundary for himself.