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toddlers touching (not hitting) each other, adults freakings out, wwyd?

(11 Posts)
orchidee Fri 12-Oct-12 13:28:21

Opinions appreciated.

Toddlers aged 12-18m old in a playgroup setting so see each other regularly. Occasional touching of each other's faces, holding hands etc. Some parents freak out at touching, others say "gentle!" to instruct or remind children to be gentle but see this as nomal inquisitiveness.

How do you handle the parents or carers who freak out at any touching?
What do you say or do?

Durab Fri 12-Oct-12 13:39:40

Is this more than one parent? I went to loads of toddler groups when my DSs were small and can honestly say I never experienced it. Parents were more likely to think it was sweet (provided they were being gentle) Seems very odd to me.

matana Fri 12-Oct-12 13:45:17

I can honestly say i haven't experienced people freaking out. Yes, i myself, and other parents, have said "gentle" when DS gets a bit rough or over-exuberant. We do the same if he does it with out cat. Because he has to understand boundaries and what is 'gentle' and what is too rough. But that's not the same as freaking out.

In terms of kissing and hand holding, we positively encourage it. DS (22mo) currently likes kissing his (male) friend goodbye. They hug when they see each other, or have hit the other and are asked to say sorry. It's lovely and i have no problems at all with it. As far as i've seen, most other parents are the same too. If i was faced with someone who did freak out, i'd probably just smile and turn the other cheek. It's not worth getting upset about.

orchidee Fri 12-Oct-12 13:53:48

It is one grandparent, she shrieks if any child touches hers, makes lots of comments about hitting although they were just touching. It can be quite stressful.

So, tips?

orchidee Fri 12-Oct-12 13:57:17

Matana, we're similar, ds hugs his friends and they often tumble to the floor. Parents giggle, all very cute.

beela Fri 12-Oct-12 16:25:24

I think I would just say 'it's ok, I think they are being gentle?' once or twice, and if it carried on I would have to grit my teeth and bear it or roll my eyes at one of the normal mums to make myself feel better

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Fri 12-Oct-12 16:47:39

my mate does this but it's because her lovely 2 year old has in the past lashed out with no warning and she's mortified with fear that he'll do it again. He's biggish and has smacked smaller kids on the face now she hovers a bit...looking stressed.

She'll get over it soon...

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Fri 12-Oct-12 16:56:06

Helicopter parenting grin

ZuleikaD Fri 12-Oct-12 19:05:07

Suggest to the grandparent that she takes her grandchild away.

GhostofMammaTJ Sat 13-Oct-12 20:57:55

She is a GP in charge of her DCs child. ie not her own. I am more precious and protective when looking after someone elses child, maybe that explains it. The person nearest should reassure that they are being gentle and that they will not be returning a damaged child to their parents.

Ozziegirly Sun 14-Oct-12 06:33:03

Grandparents are always way more overprotective - makes sense as it's not their child.

I'd just say in a friendly voice "don't worry, they are just being friendly"

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