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Help with 22mth & 6mth old PLEASE!

(3 Posts)
AyeOopMoose Wed 10-Oct-12 20:37:14

I have 2 lovely DDs.

When DD2 arrived DD1 didn't appear to be phased. Lots of cuddles and "ahhhs".

Now I have 2 problems:

1)DD1 is v physical with DD2 in terms of "patting" face etc. Not sure if it is deliberate or just lack of awareness.

2)DD1 bites and sometimes grabs DD2 especially eyes/face.

I don't really know how to handle it. I've tried talking to DD1 & explaining she has hurt DD2; saying no firmly & removing DD1; lots of positive cuddles/time with DD1.

Today, after reading something on here, we all sat on the floor together rolling a ball (trying to get DD1 to see DD2 as someone to play with) and DD1 went over to DD2 and nearly bit her finger off. She was so quick & I feel crap that I let this happen to poor DD2. I shouted at DD1, who cried & I felt even more of a crap Mum.

Nothing has an effect if anything DD1 seems more jealous of DD2, especially when DD2 feeds.

DD1 isn't talking but understands most instructions/what's said but I can't really reason/explain.

DM suggests I keep them away from each other but I really don't want to do this.

Any suggestions please?

jellyrolly Wed 10-Oct-12 20:59:42

First off, you aren't a crap mum and it's really common what your DDs are going through.

I can recommend a look at Siblings Without Rivalry. (Sometimes I can be seen calmly reading it while my two DSs scrap on the floor.) I found this helpful as it seems to be a lot of common sense.

What kind of a girl is your DD1, what does she like doing? I ask as it helped my DS1 to channel his frustrations - he is 6 now and has a book he writes and draws his angry jealous murderous feelings into which really helps. I know 22 months is too little for writing but there are loads of ways to help her express herself in a safer way.

I see what your DM means but I wouldn't want to do that either. Don't try an force the 'good' feelings but concentrate on helping her to find appropriate ways to express the 'bad' ones.

CatchTheFox Thu 11-Oct-12 11:05:40

I'm sure you do this, but I often have to remind my 2 year old what it feels like to be touched 'gently', by stroking his face and hair and saying the word. He also has a doll that we got him when his little brother (now 8mo) was born, so he has a little baby of his own. We practise gentle touching on his 'baby' too.

i wouldn't want to keep them apart either, we play lots of chasing games where the baby 'chases' his older brother (with a bit of help!) and when he catches him we get the little one to stroke his face.

i suppose it's more about showing him how he CAN interact with his little brother and trying to keep things positive. It's tricky though!

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