I got a shock last week when playgroup leader took me aside to tell me DS has been 'disruptive' - not sitting nicely on the carpet, pulling faces, prodding other children. I went straight to him (had just dropped him off) and told him in no uncertain terms he was to behave and I wanted to hear really good things about him from now on, as I know he is a good boy etc etc. Rest of week I asked every day how he had been, mostly positive except on one day when I was told he has to now sit next to play leader when on the carpet, if that's OK with me (of course it is, they need to do whatever they should). Picked him up today and was told he had spat at a couple of other children. I aksed how long it had been happening, was it at certain times during session (I should point out I have no trouble with him at home but he can be more difficult when tired). She said no, it's been going on for quite a while and lasts throughout the session, especially when he should be sat down and listening or focused. She said they were trying really hard to be positive with him. I left feeling very upset and embarrassed (have to queue to collect kids) and at 37 weeks pregnant feeling very emotional anyway. I am just so surprised because he loves sitting and listening to stories at home, can concentrate on activities for long periods of time, and I feel very strange, like I have to reassess him. I have no problems with him at parties and things and he is really sociable and outgoing. I'm a teacher and always thought you could never tell a parent something they didn't know about their child, but I was obviously wrong! I feel like never taking him there again, although obviously this is an utterly childish response. Where do I go from here?
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Behaviour/development
DS, nearly 4, in trouble at playgroup (long, sorry)
threeforme · 08/10/2012 21:02
Just stick with it and don't panic.
DS was like this, took him aaages to conform and we even had the spitting thing too. He's 13 now and an absolute star at school, never any trouble and all the teachers are fond of him.
One thing I feel bad about is that we came down very hard on him and it wasn't until he was about 8 that I started to realise anxiety was at the root of a lot of his "bad" behaviour, I wish I'd been more gentle in hindsight. I spose what I'm saying is don't let embarrassment influence how you react, he may just be finding it really hard to fit in.
Bravo! 
I soooo wish I'd had the confidence to do that 10 years ago (although I don't think I've scarred him 
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