My daughter went into her toddler bed 4 months ago. No problems at all. She settled at 7pm fine. Then 3 months ago we potty trained her and ever since she has been up and down all evening - sometimes until 9pm. Each time she asks for a wee, a poo, a drink - anything we can't refuse. We keep the light low and get her straight back into bed but it only lasts a few minutes until the next time we hear her bedroom door open. Sometimes we sit outside her room, sometimes we just leave her and go downstairs but either way she's up and down until she finally decides to settle. We've cut her nap right back to 30 mins (she can't drop it yet) so she should be tired but she just sits on her potty yawning! After 3 months of eating our evening meal in shifts and being unable to go out in the evening we're getting pretty fed up.
The interesting thing is that, at nap time, she gets straight in her bed and goes straight off to sleep, no messing! So what's the difference?
I think she's transitioning to no nap. It's a hellish time but maybe cut her naps back to every other day, or try to get her to nap earlier (maybe give her a substantial morning snack, nap, then a later lunch) so she's more tired in the evening.
Is she still in a nappy at night? Does she produce wee/poo when she gets up?
I was gutted when ds started this as I also have dd and liked getting an hour to sit and relax/sleep during the day. Now he has quiet time, which is lying on the couch with a film on very quietly, under a blanket, curtains drawn. He's not allowed to mess about or be noisy and I can still get a cuppa!
We out a stair gate at the top of the stairs and go through the list of requests. Once done we have hugs and then went downstairs. Took a few days but once she realised we were unlikely to come back up she would take herself off to bed.
Thanks for your comments! It has really helped me to see this as a transition period to no nap, rather than a permenant arrangement. We will work with the shorter, earlier nap and try skipping a nap periodically to see whether we're there yet. (I'm more than happy to drop the nap as her older brother doesn't have one and it will give us a lot more flexibility in the day.)
OP we had a similar situation with DD (2.10) which peaked one night where she was still out of bed at 11pm! We do seem to have turned a bit of a corner, but it still has taken about 45 mins to get her settled tonight. I think like anything with toddlers, its a phase, trying though it is and it will pass.
We're in a very similar situation with our DD (2.6). Last night was her worst yet- she finally dropped off just after 10pm... Having our evening meal as a family has improved our QOL- at least we're not starving and grumpy when we're trying to get her to sleep late at night!