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Non-stop crying

(12 Posts)
Salemcatsmummy Wed 03-Oct-12 21:37:40

I'm finding being a new mum tough. my son is now 14 weeks old, we spent the first 6 weeks in hospital as he was early and small for dates (35 weeks, 3lb 6). He seems to spend most if not all day crying, worse if I put him down, but he can cry even if i am holding him. it doesn't seem to be at a certain time of day. I can't interact with him and play with him as I'd like cos he just crys all the time and its really getting me down. He sleeps not too bad at night, but is up from 4am onwards. I'm really tired and feel i'm getting no time to myself. when i take him out he sleeps in his car seat, and he's quite happy being passed from person to person, but otherwise he just cries and nothing seems to soothe him. I'd really like to bond better with him by playing with him and doing massage etc but the crying puts me off doing anything. I've taken him to some baby groups and he just crys and crys there too, its getting to the point that i just don't want to be around him at all and i'm beginning to feel that i hate him. please help!

garderner Wed 03-Oct-12 22:41:54

You need a break, you are tired and need a rest to allow you to think straight. Is there anyone who could help you?. Tell close friends and family you need a break, ask for help. If you can't get help from them try Home start or your local childrens centre. You have been through a tough time, it sounds like you have done realy well, now allow yourself some time out. Good luck.

TodaysAGoodDay Wed 03-Oct-12 22:47:21

My DS was like this till he was about 8 months. Seriously, take a break if you can, it's exhausting. Ask for help, people with babies do understand, especially the unlucky ones like us.

fishcalledwonder Wed 03-Oct-12 22:59:51

You poor thing. Definitely take a break. Ask everyone and anyone. Even half an hour with a trashy mag helps. My dd wasn't much fun to begin with for similar reasons, and I felt I was just crossing off the days. Now we look at our cheerful, placid 11 month old and wonder where that angry, red-faced baby disappeared to. It really will pass.

DialMforMummy Wed 03-Oct-12 23:05:49

How do you feed him? Mine was like that until I changed his formula and he was then much happier. Have you sought medical advice? Could he be suffering from reflux or something like that?
I feel for you it's hideous.

efeslight Thu 04-Oct-12 10:48:44

my little girl was also small and 3 weeks early, and cried so much, things that helped - swaddling her so she was less likely to work herself up into a fury, we used a little blanket called 'swaddle me' to sleep in, and this would sometimes instantly calm her down, a dummy when she would take it, and having her in a sling seemed to help. We were referred to a physio and craial massage therapist and they all pretty much said the same thing, she'e early, she doesn't want to be out in the world, she doesn't understand what the world is , etc. she's now 6 months and is still a handful, but is now able to interact with us, reach for toys etc and has the most adorable smile, but can be utterly unconsolable within minutes...

mertin Thu 04-Oct-12 21:00:59

Mine wasn't early, was a week late. But cried pretty much most of the time for the first six months. I felt so angry with my nct ante natal teacher - who'd told me babies only cry for a reason. Mine cried for no reason, pretty much all of the time. I left many a baby group, mortified that I couldn't soothe my screaming baby. We were told to try Infacol but it didn't seem to make any difference. We did baby massage. Never tried cranial osteopathy though.

She really fought going to sleep. It took hours to settle her. We were often to be seen wheeling her round the block in a buggy at midnight.

We'd eat our meals with her on our chest. She couldn't be put down. We'd sit watching tv with the vacuum cleaner or hair dryer on with the subtitles - she seemed to like white noise.

It stopped at around weaning stage and after that she barely cried at all.

To this day I've no idea why she was like that. But it did stop at around six months. Years later she only cries if she's really hurt herself.

It's so upsetting and so draining. I really sympathise. But it will pass. And don't be afraid of putting him in his cot and closing door for a bit. If there is anybody who can take him for a walk in his buggy, ask them for help.

kissyfur Thu 04-Oct-12 21:04:52

Maybe try taking him to a cranial osteopath? They can do amazing things! Wishing you and your DS all the best

NoWayNoHow Thu 04-Oct-12 21:06:54

I'd get a cranial osteopathy appointment - it can't do any harm, but it can do the world of good for premature babies/c-section/assisted delivery. I found that DS changed literally overnight after screaming his way through the first 8 weeks of his life.

In the meantime, just draw down on as much help as you can to get snippets of rest.

I know, it's relentless, and it made me feel like i couldn't bond with DS. Once he'd had his session, though, and he was better, I just felt so desperately sorry for him and the fact that he'd been in pain for so long... sad

garderner Fri 05-Oct-12 10:53:43

Hi again, How are you doing? I remember a couple of more things that may help. Check if he has a urine or kindney infection, these often go undetected and can affect the child for months. Just take a wee sample into your doctors and ask them to check it. Also the baby may also have problems digesting milk, again ask the doctors to check this, it often goes unnoticed. It is worth a try.

MillionPramMiles Fri 05-Oct-12 15:43:08

You must be exhausted, don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing your best.
My dd (now 5months) was like this until around 14 weeks and still cries a lot if tired or in unfamiliar surroundings.
The key for us was sleep, (my dd gets overtired very quickly and finds it hard to sleep then is very grisly). What is your ds' daytime naps like? At this age try to aim for an hour or so in the morning and double in the afternoon, as a minimum. Try not to let ds go more than two hours without a nap, even if its only 30 mins in the car/pram. 4am is a very early start for a young baby, is there any way you can get him back to sleep by feeding etc?
Also, I've found the Hv at the local children's centre very sympathetic and helpful. I also found the cc a good way to meet other mums going through the same thing, helps to know you're not alone. Hang in there...

bishboschone Fri 05-Oct-12 20:57:00

I could have written your post. My ds was prem and poorly , spent 4 weeks in scbu and had reflux. He came home and all was fine but as soon as he woke up a bit the crying started . He pretty much cried all waking moments although as always slept well . He is now 16 months ( actual ) and he is still sensitive but the crying is down to around 30 minutes per 24 which is fine. i just carry on with what I am doing and use distraction methods and he does calm down pretty quickly. I'm honestly not sure if its just him or if it was / is the reflux but he has definitely got better the older he gets . I can totally empathise with how you feel , it's exhausting being screamed at all day . I used to go to bed as soon as the kids did just to lie down in peace.

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