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Is this normal anxiety in my 1 year old? (Sorry if too long)

(6 Posts)
Overwhelmedmummy Sun 30-Sep-12 15:00:19

Since about 8 months or so my normally chilled out easygoing dd has developed a fear of strange men esp if they have facial hair. She's fine with people she sees regularly but can be a bit shy with them if they've been on a fortnights holiday for example. If a man comes into the room she is in and doesn't know him she cries and cries till she or he leaves the room. She's fine with men on street as long as they don't try and interact with her. Women are not a problem.
I've been told by a few people that she'll grow out of it or it will get better with time but its showing no sign of doing so. Also she's recently started nursery and cries when we drop her off (which I can handle cause its only initial anxiety at being left) but she also cries when we pick her up. She's always fine by time we get to car park big hugs and kiss but when we walk in the room and she notices us the tears start. Surely she'd be happy to see us if she's missed us all day? Also from a slightly selfish point of view it's very restrictive with our family socialising - we can't go to big family gatherings with her or other social events children are invited to cause she will cry the whole time. We can't have other couples over for dinner because she will cry the whole time the man is about. I'm actually getting not too bothered re the socialisation side of things because will do whatever is best for my dd but I feel as if I'm losing friends as it is since she's be born cause we're now at such different stages of our lives.

Overwhelmedmummy Sun 30-Sep-12 15:25:40


GailTheGoldfish Sun 30-Sep-12 16:37:26

Bumping again for you but also to say that I have heard about this happening a lot, it's really common for babies to develop these kind of fears about people and it will pass but I don't think there is anything you can do until it does.... Sorry. Hopefully someone will come along with advice soon.

Overwhelmedmummy Sun 30-Sep-12 16:48:10

Thank you for replying.

SchrodingersMew Sun 30-Sep-12 17:35:34

Hi, my 1yo DS is like this with old women if they try to interact with him (and grass, plants, flowers, guinea pigs, fish, reptiles and last night the door handle!) The rest of the time he is very laid back and chilled.

I am interested to see what the replies to this will be.

Bigbouncingbaby Sun 30-Sep-12 17:46:58

It's not common but it's not unheard of . My daughter now 21 months is the same but it's all men. She is not good with strange situations or new people full stop. Like you we couldn't go to functions gatherings etc....even now and she is far better it can be stressfull. While all other kids played and were happy she pretty much cried and screamed. Until I eft then she was as happy as Larry.

It was/ is hard and no one believes you until they see it. She is also nervous around other children to but men she hates. She won't leave my side basically and if they go near her she freaks.

But I basically just make her mix being at a childminder has helped alot. I can't offer advise it does better but it's a long process. The days of me leaving every party have gone but she is still hard work .... Guess u just have to be patient with them.

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