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Help needed please wth 6yr old behaviour at school

(6 Posts)
athleticmum Thu 27-Sep-12 13:54:07

I have just had the headmistress on about my little boy. Apparantely yesterday he threatened to stab a girl and meant to threaten her, so she and her mother was very upset. I feel sick and stressed to hear this.

2/3 weeks ago he kicked a girl in class and was naughty in the line.

Last night at karate he would not sit down when the instructor told him and tried to pull a girls top down.

About 18months ago he got tested about his behaviour problems and all was fine. He now goes to nurture group at school and has reading recovery too.

We think its down to him being immature for his age as his twin brothers are at nearly aged 13.

Since starting nursery he spat at people, kicked, hit, hit a teacher in face, pushed. He tends not to play with people but along side them. When anyone says they dont want to be his friend it winds him up and he then lashes out. Last week I told him to walk away and he did.

At least once a week he will be naughty at school. It seems he cant cope in big crowds then tends to be silly. But he is fine when in school concerts.

When he started reception he was on cooked meals then I was advised to change him to sandwiches as he was being naughty whilst waiting in the queue.

In reception he pulled his pants down in front of the class and smudged stuff from the toilets with another boy on the walls.

If you met my son he is son lovable and adorable we love him to pieces. He also hasn't got an angry temperament. So why can he do this and how can I help him? I am going to see nurture group Monday and discuss if I should get him tested again. I am scared that one day when he is older he may seriously act upon his threats.

desertgirl Thu 27-Sep-12 17:36:03

What consequences are there for his behaviour, when he does these things?

If he doesn't behave like this at home - what does he do (that he isn't supposed to) and what are the consequences for that?

also sorry this may be obvious but what is nurture group? and who was it tested him before?

MerryCosIWonaGold Thu 27-Sep-12 17:41:18

My ds sounds a bit similar and is also described as immature. He has exactly the same issues with getting very over excited around groups of people - from when he was a baby. This can convert into being silly. He never had problems at home. The threatening to stab is not nice, and if your 13 yo's are saying it then I would crack down on it (assume that's where he's got it from). My ds is nearly 7 and has calmed down a lot over the last year, just growing up. He's still behind a lot of his peers and his friends are mostly the year below him in school, but he is getting better.

athleticmum Fri 05-Oct-12 14:13:37

If he is naughty at school he or good he gets stickers, treats and thats not working now. At home he gets grounded his favourite toys taken off him, no tv etc.

Since being 3-4 and starting nursery/school he has been spitting, hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, disruptive in class, silly. I put this down to immatureness, no self control and attention. He isnt agressive as he and teachers know he is a lovely boy. I used to get notes everyday from school and it started to get me down. I had a support worker helping me and my other children and she thought this was ridiculous and that the teachers should be able to deal with this. My son is a very happy boy and caring and so loving. At first when it started at school I didnt believe them about his behaviour as he wasnt like this at home.

I am having a meeting next week and the headmistress as put him down to see a consellor.

nurture group/cool zone - this is were my son goes twice a week for an hour and half. They make it like home they get sweet treats for good behaviour can have a nap, are made to talk about their news and get cuddles. There was only 6 in this week and he was still naughty.

Some times hes good then in spurts he misbehaves.

This week he kept asking teacher to help with Maths constantly and she spent a lot of time with him and said the work was on the board too. He wouldnt stop asking so she sent him to sit in reception. Maybe he was bored and needs teachinng differently.

They dont know what to do with him.

He went to a clinic to be tested but they said he was fine didn t have adhd or whatever.

athleticmum Fri 05-Oct-12 14:48:51

This week my Ds went to karate and my husband said he would send his pigs back to China if he didnt behave. Remarkably my hubs said he behaved 99%.

FireOverBabylon Fri 05-Oct-12 15:22:45

So he can behave with sufficient incentive?

Are there any issues at hope that aren't featured in your OP? My gut reaction is he's doing this for attention, and because he can. Is there anything at home, an elderly grandarent, disabled sibling etc which means he doesn't get the attention at home?

How does he usually behave at karate? As it's very ritual and respect based, it'll either be just what your DS needs or a nightmare for him.

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