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16-month-old co-sleeper separation anxiety and frequent waking in the evening

(4 Posts)
Fazerina Wed 26-Sep-12 15:58:29

Hi all,

I posted this on the sleep board but had no responses so I thought I'd try here...

Just wanted to know if anyone else is experiencing this and hopefully some reassurance that it will pass soon..

DS has been a co-sleeper since he was 3 months. When he was really small he started his night in his cot and I only brought him in with me around 5am when DH woke up for work. Then we decided to turn to sleep "width-wise" on our bed (it's an Ikea double so rather big) and we folded up towels over the full length of the gap between the bed and the wall to create more space so DS started to sleep between me and the headboard the whole night. In the evening, I would initially bf DS to sleep in the big bed at around 7.30 to 8, but when he learned to roll and crawl we put a mattress on the floor in his own room where I bf him to sleep.

Until a few weeks ago, he woke up maybe 2-3 times before around 10.30 when we all go to bed, but now it has got even worse than this. Last night he came to the living room 10 minutes after falling asleep, I took him back and had to bf him to sleep and again after 10 minutes he was up and in the livingroom. This then went on until 11pm. And this is the typical scenariosad .. I've never really had much of an evening since he was born so I'm getting used to it, but surely this is just excessive?! At the moment he spends most of the evenings running away from DH and after me due to separation anxiety so there is simply no way DH could help to settle him. We tried a few times and DS just became hysterical..

Any other co-sleepers out there, who've gone through similar or is it just us hmm..

HoratiaWinwood Wed 26-Sep-12 19:04:27

Have a look at my Fred from earlier this week where I have been describing my journey to get DS2 from "feeding to sleep, waking as little as half an hour later" to ... any kind of sanity, frankly.

Each night has been better than the night before but we are not there yet.

My Fred is in Sleep.

wanderingalbatross Wed 26-Sep-12 19:09:23

My 16mo DD co-sleeps with us and after a good run of a few weeks with almost no evening waking, she's been up a lot for the past few nights. I've put it down to teeth, but it could well be something else. DH struggled to calm her in the night, so it's mostly down to me! We used to have a real problem with evening waking too.

A few months ago I (mostly) stopped feeding her between bedtime and 10ish, and then a month ago I completely weaned her off bf. I gradually replaced bf to sleep with cuddles to sleep, and now she settles much easier if she does wake. I don't know if it was just coincidence, but within a few days of night weaning she was sleeping much better. Now she doesn't normally need cuddles, just to have me next to her.

The other thing that seemed to help is good daytime sleep. She still has 2-3 hours in 2 naps, as I've read that over tiredness can lead to problems staying asleep in the evening.

Fazerina Thu 27-Sep-12 01:05:48

Hello both and thank you very much for your replies!

Sorry Horatia, haven't yet had a chance to have a look at your thread, but will definitely do so in the morning.

I just had to come and report some success: bf DS to sleep as usual and sure enough 15 minutes after he came to to the living room to "pick me up". Took him back to his room, but this time had put on a sweater without any access to boobies so was determined to just lie there and cuddle. DS was livid(!) And slapping and screaming and trying to pull my shirt up. But it was more like a tantrum than actual distress, so I persevered and he finally went to sleep and slept from 10pm until about 12am shock!

So I am thinking that it has partly been the bf that has been making him wake constantly. I don't plan to stop bf yet, but I will definitely stop going in with the boob when he wakes up in the evening.. For what it's worth, he takes one 2 hour nap a day, so I don't think he's overtired..

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