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Toddler backlash after starting preschool - common?

(3 Posts)
EugenesAxe Tue 25-Sep-12 11:46:04

DS (2.8) was with childminder from 11mo to about 17mo while I worked. Since then I've looked after him (maternity then quit work) & I had DD 10m ago. Last week he started preschool 3 mornings a week.

He's taken to it pretty quickly; 4th session had the breakthrough of 'I had fun at nursery today' in the car on the way home, but initially he was upset about going there, and when I left. He's a shrewd little thing and I'm sure he will be fully aware that I am going off with DD while he stays at nursery. The last couple of days he has taken to hurting her quite badly - yesterday he bit her twice on her hand; once on the nail/cuticle (drew blood shock) and once between the fingers (mark still visible this morning). I've been in the room or pottering when this has happened; I blame myself and for once I have managed a zen like calm and just taken him for time out every time he's done it.

He had a mate over yesterday and was a bit rough with her and her brother too - I had to give him time out for one of the 'attacks'.

Has anyone else noticed a sudden bout of this kind of sibling rivalry/bullying in a similar situation? If yes, does it last for ages and am I doing the right thing, or did anything else help your DC get over the phase?


Iggly Tue 25-Sep-12 20:58:35

Yes - DS has started doing the biting with his little sister (9 months) and has just started preschool. I'm on maternity leave.

I think it's a combination of being tired from preschool (he's exhausted) and frustration/jealously at the time dd gets from me vs his. He's actually better when it's just me and him and dd and I can give him plenty of cuddles/attention.

I'm trying to ride it out. Any biting is swiftly dealt with. I also give positive attention whenever I can. Also early bedtimes and keeping his day quite low key in the afternoons after pre school.

EugenesAxe Wed 26-Sep-12 16:48:32

Sorry I'd given up on this thread - thanks for the response! Nice to know it's not just me. Three days on it seems better - hopefully I've nipped it in the bud with the time outs.

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