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14 month old head butting!! Please help!

(10 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Sat 22-Sep-12 07:36:02

Hi all! I urgently need help as my 14 month old has started head butting, floors, walls, tv cabinets, ME!! And yesterday she tried to head butt her little friend! Everytime she gets angry or upset she headbutts the floor and it's really worrying me as she is giving herself bruises on her forehead and I'm scared one day it will b on a really hard surface which is so dangerous or she will hurt another child. I've tried telling her no, ive tried time out ( of course it didn't work lol) and now I'm ignoring it but it's not stopping!! Anyone else experiencing this or has done and can give me some great advice. Thanks smile

ditsydoll Sat 22-Sep-12 08:44:03

My Dd did this for a while around that age, more me and DH than floors etc but would also reps herself back in a tantrum resulting in the back of her head hitting the floor.

I found that it was mainly when she wasn't getting her own way so I decided to just put her down if she headbutted me and just say no in a voice so that she knew I wasn't playing but obviously no too stern as she was still only a baby. She realised after a while that it got her nowhere and moved on to pinching to try and get her own way and we treated this the same way. She is now 3 and has completely outgrown all of this. She still has a little sulk if she doesn't get her own way but so do I! Lol

It's just a way of her venting frustration and in her world everything revolves around her and she won't understand how to reason with you yet.

Just keep an eye on her to make sure she isn't injuring herself and move her away from you if she does it to you. If you make a huge fuss she will realise it has an effect on you and therefore carry on.

It can be really frustrating but keep calm, it will pass.

ditsydoll Sat 22-Sep-12 08:44:52

Also throw herself back* sorry its early and I'm posting on a phone..

lightrain Sat 22-Sep-12 08:48:09

My DS did this for a while too. I'd give the same advice as ditzy, and add that wherever possible, try not to react to her doing it. If there's immediate danger, move her to a soft place but try not to make a big deal of it and try to ignore. It should stop quicker.

Cupcakemummy85 Sat 22-Sep-12 08:52:10

Thank you so much for ur reply. I will defintely persevere with what we r doing then and not react to it. It's so difficult as I didn't really think it was a thing that girls did, but apparently they do lol. Since he turned one everything seems to be more of a battle now ie meal times, bed time, nap time but I've leant as a parent you have to b strong I'm just looking forward to when she only fights me on one or two things and not everything lol

Cupcakemummy85 Sat 22-Sep-12 12:56:59

I've also found that her tantrums have just totally knocked me for six and really dented my confidence a bit. I know I shouldn't take it all so personally but I do and I feel people are looking at me thinking what an awful mother not making her child happy!! I'm really trying to stay positive, I think a bad experience at a mOther and toddler group this week hasn't helped me!

ditsydoll Sun 23-Sep-12 12:47:08

You shouldn't let it get to you so much, I know how you feel. You go from having a really well behaved baby to a very much hard work toddler over night and it can be a huge shock. Don't ever feel like people are judging you when your child has a tantrum, ALL children have their moments, even the angels!

Zimbah Sun 23-Sep-12 21:47:58

I was thinking about starting a similar post as my 16mo headbutts the floor, chairs, cot when she doesn't get her own way or if I tell her No. I generally try to ignore it but I do pick her up or move her if she's about to do it on something really hard like a concrete step! Hopefully she'll grow out of it before too long, she's been doing it a good few months now.

paranoid2android Mon 24-Sep-12 06:02:25

Cupcake iyou are a great mum,you are asking for help to try and make things better, parenting is harder than rocket science! We have lovely cuddly babies that turn into raging toddlers and its bloody hard work!I
I would say the exact opposite of most of
the posters here. I would physically prevent her from head butting rather than ignore. you want to show you love her and will prevent her from injury even if she is doing it to herself!
Head butting is her way of expressing her feelings, maybe anger and frustration because you have set a limit about something . If she feels your safety and love she may be able to express her feelings on a more gentle way such as crying - which is perfectly natural and a healthy way to relieve stress. I think she is head butting because she needs your attention. She needs to know that you will love and stay close to her even when things don't always go her way.
Ignoring her would just teach her that you love her conditionally only when she is behaving well . Ignoring behavior so as not to encourage it actually in the long run makes behavior worse since the child feels even more desperate and upset about being ignored so will try even worse off track behavior to get your attention!

Zimbah Thu 25-Oct-12 22:23:54

I'm bumping this old thread to say thank you to paranoid2android for her post. I really thought about what you were saying and decided perhaps you are right. Since you posted I've been picking up DD when she headbangs, or where possible intercepting her before she does it and giving her a cuddle. This approach feels a lot more "right" to me than ignoring her, I feel like I'm giving her what she needs in a loving way. It hasn't reduced the amount she does it, but neither did ignoring it, so I'll stick with the approach of comforting her when she does this rather than ignoring. Thank you!

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