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8 month won't sleep or stay sleep

(16 Posts)
sunshinemummy86 Sun 16-Sep-12 08:58:04

Hello. My dd is 8 months old, and she won't sleep. We try putting her in her cot when she is nearly asleep, but she rolls right over and starts crawling around and climbing up the sides. She will do this happily for a while if I leave her, but then she starts to get upset. Will try and comfort her while she is still in the cot, but she then gets super upset and I end up picking her up to comfort her. Most nights I nurse her to sleep, which I know is not ideal, and probably isn't helping. But by midnight some nights I am too tired to argue and end up nursing her. We do all the bedtime routine like you are supposed to... Bath, story etc. When we finally get her to sleep, she will wake around 3 times in the night. If I send my husband in she will go crazy and scream until I go in. I always try soothing her whithout picking her up, which works occasionally, but most times I will rock her to sleep. I am at my wits end, I need sleep, has anyone got any suggestions. I don't mean to offend anyone, but please, no suggestions of crying it out, controlled crying or anyother method which involves my dd screaming whilst I am ignoring her elsewhere as IMHO it is very cruel. I have read about it already, and am not comfortable with the potential long term emotional damage this method can cause. Any other suggestions gratefully accepted.

Craftyone Sun 16-Sep-12 12:56:52

My DS uses a comforter (jellycat small fuzzy dog) while he sleeps. I put him down with it while he is sleepy and he stokes it to sleep. At night time i leave 3 different comforters in his cot so if he wakes he usually finds one. Take it away during the day and only let them have it before sleep. He now knows when he sees the dog it is bedtime. I also use a dummy at night and have 4 of those scattered around the cot too. I know a lot of people don't like them but he settles himself most nights and doen't use them when he is awake during the day. I couldn't let him CIO either. If i have to go in at night it is to give him the dog or replace the dummy but it's not that often. The comforter shifts the need for you.

ZuleikaD Sun 16-Sep-12 15:10:10

Waking three times in the night for feeds is pretty normal for an 8mo IME so I wouldn't assume that you're doing anything 'wrong' and that's why she's waking up. Bedtime routines are oversold as well, I think - we used to change our DCs bedtime routine on a regular basis and it was perfectly clear that it made no difference whatsover. If your dd wants to feed to sleep still, I'd let her.

Have you tried sending your DH in with a bottle? If she is hungry, then she'll probably take it.

sunshinemummy86 Sun 16-Sep-12 15:48:19

Thanks for the replies. We don't use a dummy and we bf so she has, and probably will, never have a bottle. I think you are right and dd will settle down soon, just hard when I hear all these other super mums with their babies who sleep 12 straight at night.

sunshinemummy86 Sun 16-Sep-12 15:49:19

I will try and see if I can get her attached to a comforter of some sort xxx

Craftyone Sun 16-Sep-12 21:48:57

Hi again,
If she is not due a feed give her a good drink of water before she goes down in the cot. That is also part of my routine. Hope the comforter works as i'm now watching my DS on the video monitor and he has been playing with his comforters for 45 mins. I went in once as he got a bit stuck at the top of the cot but he continued to play and roll around when i left. No crying out, just a bit of soft wimpering now and again.

He has just fallen asleep... bliss!

broodylicious Mon 17-Sep-12 02:09:35

I'm having same issues - yours is defo not the only child to not sleep through! My dd is sleeping for 30 mins then waking for 30 mins, sleeping for 30 mins then waking for 30 mins tonight. It is driving me round the friggin bend! (anyway, I've just started my own thread on that so won't hijack yours).

To me, I would also say its not a problem feeding to sleep at this age either. I also am not an advocate of CIO and think I'd rather give my boob than have to hear my dd in distress for even half a minute let alone five or whatever.

Not much advice I can give other than to say you're not alone smile xx

Xmarksthespot Mon 17-Sep-12 04:38:49

Hi, from the other side of the world (NZ - although am an ex-Londoner!). I'm also having EXACTLY the same problem. Am at my wits end.. My DS 27 weeks (EBF (won't take a bottle or a dummy), solids twice a day, feed to sleep, bedtime routine - dinner, bath, boob, bed) is waking every 45 mins from 8.30pm - 12am then every 2 hours until 7am. I sought advice but I'm a lone voice in the CIO/CC brigade here. Even my closest friend said I was too soft and for my own sanity we needed to let him cry. Not for me thank you very much. Some time ago we put wheels on his cot and that helps hugely with settling him but as for keeping him asleep that's another story..We will keep on going, what else can we do?? I'm just hoping he'll out grow it. He was sleeping through until about 4 weeks ago until he got a cold, was teething big time (2 teeth now) and the introduction of solids. I think it could be a habit he now can't get out of. That or its a developmental stage - separation anxiety perhaps? Naps during the day are all I can suggest as that's all that's helping me get through it. Thankfully my son loves it when we both lie down and have a sleep together, that's all he wants so at least I can get some sleep that way. I know if he slept in the same bed as me he'd probably sleep all night but my OH and I always said no babies in the bed otherwise we'd be in a whole heap of trouble later!

Xmarksthespot Mon 17-Sep-12 04:52:41

sorry about the lack of paragraphs in my earlier post - my son was grizzling and I had to type fast!

Oh and sorry, not much advice either, but if buy chance you stumble across an answer, please let me know!

SuperSlattern Mon 17-Sep-12 05:38:02

I was like you all here.

My DD is 1 and for the first time in her life has started to sleep through. We did CC. Admittedly she is older, but it was getting to a stage where she was up for 4 to 5 hours in the night. She wasnt hungry, ill or wanted a nappy change. She simply wanted to play.

I was at my wits end. I really can't cope with working and no sleep. So on Thursday with did CC. She cried for an hour after I put her to sleep. At about 9.15 pm she cried for ten minutes. That's it. She has slept through since.

Now I can't sleep because of my stupid cold sad . Admittedly I never wanted to CC, I thought it was cruel etc. However it has worked and now she is getting the sleep she needs

sunshinemummy86 Mon 17-Sep-12 07:31:29

Thanks, it is a relief to know we are not abnormal and haven't done something 'wrong' so to speak. DD ended up in bed with us last night, I was to tired to argue. She still woke up 3/4 times crying. I hope, maybe it is a teeth coming through and she will sleep a bit better soon. Good luck all you other mummies, hope your LOs sleep better soon.

sunshinemummy86 Mon 17-Sep-12 07:32:16

A tooth, or teeth, not a teeth :-p xxx

bevelino Mon 17-Sep-12 22:59:16

As a qualified health visitor I am not a big fan of CIO and didn't use the method for my dd's. Could your baby be hungry (which can cause baby to wake up) and have you started solids as by six months babies are often ready and may need more calories than they get from milk? Feeding advice tends to change depending on who you talk to but in my experience babies are ready to take solids if they are able to stay sitting up, want to chew and put toys and other objects in their mouth and can reach out and grab things. They should also be able to coordinate their eyes, hands and mouth, look at food and grab it, and put it in their mouth. Obviously a baby must be able to swallow and if your baby is not ready for solids you will know all about it because it will go everywhere other than their mouth.

sunshinemummy86 Tue 18-Sep-12 18:05:35

We have been doing BLW since 6 months. I give her all sorts of nice, healthy food, on top of the bfing. I thought maybe hungry, I do try and offer my breast loads of time leading up to bedtime just to be sure. I can get dd back to sleep without nursing her in night, I would have thought if she was hungry she wouldn't settle again without feeding. Am I wrong? I always nurse her to sleep at bedtime though.

bevelino Tue 18-Sep-12 22:09:23

You are not wrong and are doing really well. As your baby is taking solids have you lengthened the period between day time feeds as frequent feeders will often wake for feeds during the night? There are no hard and fast rules but if you want your baby of 8 months to sleep through until say 06:00 am, baby will probably need to be woken for a last feed at around 9 or 10pm.

On the Internet you will read plenty of advice but everyone is different and you need to find a solution that works for you and fits in with what you want.

IHeartCake Tue 25-Sep-12 22:06:17

I just wanted to add that my 9.5mo old is sort of the same. He puts himself to sleep in the cot just fine but wakes 4-6xs a night. I usually settle him by bf. I dearly wonder if this ever gets better. It's brutal. They all tell you that if they can fall asleep on their own then you've cracked it but... nope. I really feel for you as we are in much the same boat. BTW, we did a bit of CC and it didn't help so you needn't bother with that.

1. In terms of your potential sleep training, have you thought about doing a bit of gradual withdrawal? It worked like a charm with my DD (who is now 3.5yrs old and sleeps like a log--through all of DD's wake ups). Seems a very gentle method at the time.

2. I'd love to hear from anyone who's babies were like this who just miraculously got better without parent doing anything in particular to "fix" it.

Hope I'm not hijacking!!!

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