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I need help. My son is disruptive in class.

(9 Posts)
BeingBooyhoo Wed 05-Sep-12 17:35:59

He is 7 and in p3. This has been a recurring complaint since p1 although it seemed to get worse last year. His teacher just keeps saying the same thing, that he is disruptive, distracting the other children. I asked 4 a meeting with her last year to discuss what he was doing and how she dealt with him. She just kept saying he was disruptive and didnt concentrate when left alone to work. The class uses a traffic light and star system so i started using it at home. We also talked regularly over the summer about how he was p3 now and had to be grown up and listen in class. He has agreed all along but today at pick up his teacher said he hasnt behaved since he started back on monday. When i asked what he was doing she just said being disruptive. Im going to ask her for a meeting tomorrow but if i'm honest i dont feel like she is keen to help me tackle this. She seems to be a good teacher but when it comes to ds she just complains about him. I can understand her being pissed off but i will need her to work with me and tell me exactly what is happening if we stand a chance of sorting it. Right now it feels like she doesnt want to deal with him. So what do i do/say at this meeting to get the most from it and how do i get through to my ds? I spoke to him this afternoon and went over the class rules and consequences. He has again agreed to concentrate, do as he's told and listen but i just know all of it will go straight out of his head as soon as he gets into the classroom. Sorry for rambling and no paragraphs. Im on my phone.

GoldPicnminx Wed 05-Sep-12 17:56:47

I'd drop an email to the Head saying that the constant feedback is that ds' disruptive behaviour continues, you are a really supportive parent and would like to see a multipronged approach involving home- school - outside agencies to tackle this not only for ds' long term future prospects but also for the whole class and his teachers too must feel the impact. Ask for a meeting.

Goldmandra Wed 05-Sep-12 18:10:13

I agree with Picnminx.

This is the teacher's problem to solve, not yours. You do have a part to play in providing information and backing up their discipline at home but untimately his behaviour is a problem when he is in their care, not in yours.

The first question which should be asked is why is he being disruptive? Does he have a problem which is making life in the classroom difficult?

Is he struggling with sensory difficulties, hearing, etc?

Is the work too hard or too easy?

Is his language processing good enough for him to understand what is expected of him in a busy environment?

Does the teacher manage behaviour positively and appropriately or does she reward unacceptable behaviour with attention?

These are questions for the school to answer and, if they can't find the answers themselves, they need to approach their behaviour support team or other appropriate outside agencies for advice.

Be supportive but firm. You are happy to do whatever you can at home but they need to sort this problem in school by looking for the root cause of his behaviour and dealing with it.

BeingBooyhoo Wed 05-Sep-12 18:24:03

Thank you both. goldmandra those questions are great. Do you think i should forget about meeting his teacher and email the head with these points? I dont want to be going over her head unnecessarily? Perhaps i should meet her first with these questions? Also, a friend suggested i talk to my health visitor. Is that something i should think about?

Goldmandra Wed 05-Sep-12 18:49:58

Does your health visitor still have responsibility for a child your DS's age? In our area they hand over to the school nurse when they start school.

I think I would ask for a meeting with the teacher, the school SENCo and, if possible, the school nurse. The head may choose to be there but that's up to them to decide. They'll be made aware of it one way or another.

At the meeting raise the fact that no progress seems to have been made with managing your son's behaviour and you are concerned about the effect it will be having on him academically and socially and also the effect on the rest of the class. Ask what strategies have been used and who they have approached for advice. Expect them to have kept records of how this has been managed and to have discussed it within school meetings at least.

Don't allow them to suggest that the problem is based at home, especially if you don't struggle to manage his behaviour yourself. It is easy to blame parents.

Take your list of questions with you and make sure they answer them and any others you can think of.

Be prepared to make suggestions of strategies which work at home but don't take on responsibility for the problem. Ask them what they think your son is trying to tell them by this behaviour.

BeingBooyhoo Wed 05-Sep-12 18:58:11

Thank you, i would never have known to ask all those things. You could be right about the health visitor. Im not sure what age they stop being responsible for him at here. Will write all this down and request a meeting tomorrow. Thanks again.

stargirl1701 Wed 05-Sep-12 19:00:44

The school nurse takes over from the HV when your child attends P1. You should be able to get the contact details from the school.

BeingBooyhoo Wed 05-Sep-12 19:16:42

Thanks stargirl

Ozbound Mon 18-Jan-16 22:50:46

Hi there - I was wondering how you and your son have moved forward in the last few years. I am in a similar position with my own son and in the process of starting to seek both internal and external advice..

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