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Worried about 10 year old Stepson

(6 Posts)
StressyHead Mon 15-Dec-03 15:09:22

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Jimjams Mon 15-Dec-03 15:15:08

If he's not worried about it then I don't think you have to be. If it does begin to upset him then you may need to rethink. If he has some god close friends then he may be in a better position emotionally than someone who has lots of less close friends iyswim.

Davros Mon 15-Dec-03 19:21:41

Maybe moving school to seconday education will be a good thing as his type of personality will be more acceptable. And there'll be a different group of kids who haven't developed a pattern of behaviour towards him. If he's not bothered then I think I'd wait and see how things go when he changes school. Does he do any activities away from school where he could make some other friends, cubs etc or whatever they do at that age?

StressyHead Tue 16-Dec-03 10:09:33

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Davros Wed 17-Dec-03 08:43:24

Well I don't know, sounds like you've tried everything I can think of. If he's happy and not bothered I'd just see what happens when school changes. Maybe he's just ahead of his peers in terms of "being grown up" or he's just a loner. I suppose there could be more to it and he's good at pretending he doesn't mind but don't know how you would deal with that, you've obviously got lots more experience at being a step mum than I have! Isn't there a section for step parents on MN? Have you tried asking there too? Good luck though and I hope he's OK.

tigermoth Wed 17-Dec-03 19:52:10

Do hope your stepson has received more christmas cards by now, stressyhead. I don't have any clear suggestions to make about your stepson being a loner at school. I know my son, aged 9 has gone through phases of saying he has few or no friends. His friendships this year especially, seem very tied in with what hobbies he follows ie when he's into a beyblade phase, he'll gravitate towards boys who like beyblades. His two best friends like pokemon just as he does, surprise surprise! He's not one for football, so does not mix much with the football crowd. But this could all change in two months time.

So, if your stepson has any hobbies like the above, you might consider encouraging them, which might mean forking out some cash, if possible. Then if he starts getting in with some boys who like the same things, you can suggest he invites one back for tea and take it from there.

I think you have to keep lines of communication open with him, make sure he feels happy to talk to you if something is bothering him, but if you feel he really isn't fussed about not having many friends at school, then as others have said, take your cue from him and relax.

I was a bit of a loner at school. I had enough friends to see out of school, and I really didn't want to be part of a crowd. It didn't bother me at all.

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