6 month old has always been grumpy. I'm so so sad.

(81 Posts)
OddBodd Tue 17-Jul-12 19:42:11

Hi all.

My 6 month old DS has been high needs and grumpy since day one. We struggled to establish breast feeding. For months he barely fed but snacked every 40 minutes or so even throughout the night. We just went with it hoping it would get better. I just slept with him on me. Eventually it worked out and by 5 months he has been sleeping around 10 hours straight at night, feed at 5am and back down til 7am so can't complain!

During the days though he is just so miserable. I have been at the paediatricians and tried infant gaviscon and ranatidine incase of reflux, I am now dairy free and have been since 12 weeks incase of intolerance. Basically I feel like we've tried everything, even 2 sessions of cranial osteopathy but nothing has cheered him up.

He is over tired most of the day as he only nas for 30 mins at a time and always goes to sleep screaming on me unless I manage to feed him to sleep. He wakes up grizzly as he's clearly still tired. I have tried putting him doewn every 2 hours but he's just exahausted ll the time and screams.

It's totally impacting on my mental health now. I am on edge and shakey. He cries so often for no reason I can find other than I am assuming he's tired but I can't soothe him back to sleep after a nap. I've tried feeding rocking shhhhing, patting, white noise. Nothing works, his eyes pop open and the crying begins. What am I doing wrong? He is so grumpy all day. Please help.

OP’s posts: |
YouveCatToBeKittenMe Tue 17-Jul-12 19:46:00

I had a grumpy baby too. It's nothing you are doing wrong it's just how they are. To make you feel better mine is 16 now and is absolutely lovely, a really easy teenager. We still talk about how grumpy he was as a baby.

OddBodd Tue 17-Jul-12 19:54:27

Thank you. It's just so difficult seeing everone elses happy bundles of joy while mine's writhing about on my lap fighting me yet crying when I put him down! I know I shouldn't compare but my best friend had a baby 12 weeks ago and the difference in their tempraments is huge and it makes me feel like a failure. When did he start to cheer up?

OP’s posts: |
Smokedsalmonbagel Tue 17-Jul-12 20:03:13

I feel for you.

DS2 was a grumpy baby and unfortunately is still a bit of a grumpy toddler.

He had reflux and would vomit often which made him miserable plus he has really struggled with all his teeth. DS1 barely needed calpol when teething but DS2 regularly has calpol and brufen when he is teething.

He is nearly 2 and if everything is perfect for him he is sooo happy and a delight. But if he is not happy about the slightest thing I know about it!!!

It won't go down very well on here but have you thought about letting him cry himself to sleep. My sons both needed to do that at some point. I remember one evening we'd tried everything to get DS2 to sleep - rocking, cuddling, feeding etc etc. I got to the point where I was exhausted and put him in his moses basket as I just needed to put him down. He whinged a bit and was asleep in minutes!!

Charliewasagoodhamster Tue 17-Jul-12 20:04:29

I am sorry I can't help much but my 6 month old was a real pain to get to sleep I. The day which made her cranky. Someone on here gave me wonderful advice that worked first time. Time 1 hr 45 mins or 2 hours after waking before tiredness hits and start to wind down for nap. I feed to sleep, know it isn't the most advised thing to do but it works for me. When asleep put down on front. It has taken my daughter from short cat napson me to at least 1 hour naps at a time. For us it is about 10am and 2 pm.

Perhaps if you can get one thing like naps working other it's will fall in to place?

Good luck, it can't be easy and I hope something works. For what it is worth my baby has changed so much since napping and turning 6 months. Now we are weaning we have fallen in to a routine that works for both of us and it all feels easier.

Cubtrouble Tue 17-Jul-12 20:10:27

OddBodd, if you can afford one get a baby swing, my baby had bad wind and the swing helped us so much, he falls asleep within a few moments of the motion starting. It gave me a chance to eat and rest for half hour before starting again, i usually wake him around feeding time, give him a nice cuddle while he wakes up but have his bottle ready so no crying.
Also found a baby gym with lights and music was a big help.

I give him a bath to settle him down before bed and a bit of baby massage and he wakes up a happy boy the next day.

I spoke to the HV about my baby and there can be so many reasons other than the hungry/dirty nappy/wind i thought,
over stimulated/bored
wants a cuddle/wants to be left alone!

Very confusing little beings, chin up its nothing you are doing!!!

good luck


OddBodd Tue 17-Jul-12 20:18:40

I am just worried he will always be this way. I feel like I can not please him. Will he just be a difficult child? I can't understand why if he's tired he just won't sleep in the day!!!

OP’s posts: |
BitchyHen Tue 17-Jul-12 20:21:14

DD1 was like this. We think she just hated being a baby. She started to get better once she could sit up unaided, and once she could move she was happy. She is now 14 and still very vocal and a bit prone to the miseries.

BlablaSos Tue 17-Jul-12 20:23:10

I had one of those! Mine did have silent reflux but was still grumpy even once it was under control. We had 3 sessions of cranial osteopathy. Once she hit 9 months and could crawl well and entertain herself a little better she improved a lot. She now smiles loads, in fact people bow describe her as a smiley baby, and she doesn't cry that much.

Her naps have got a lot better too. I didn't do anything - just gave her time.

I know it is awful but it will get better.

Piccalilli2 Tue 17-Jul-12 20:28:40

Dd1 was a very grumpy baby. She didn't sleep (ever). She's still quite a serious 6 yr old but utterly wonderful and great with her sister and sleeps well and I love her to absolute bits. They're all different and some babies I think take time to make their way in the world. It's not you, just keep loving your baby, get help if you need it and it will come right

nannyof3 Tue 17-Jul-12 20:34:53

Have u tried baby massage?

mercibucket Tue 17-Jul-12 20:44:50

Ds2 was a very grumpy baby. He is a delightful child, sunny, good natured, never ill, healthy and strong. Nightmare baby though sad he always wanted to walk and talk, did both at an early age and never looked back.

wigglybeezer Tue 17-Jul-12 20:45:41

Swaddling? Baby swing?

Being tightly wrapped helped grumpy DS1 settle. Did end up doing controlled crying too though.

mercibucket Tue 17-Jul-12 20:46:43

I wish I'd used a sling with him - he didn't like being put down and liked to sleep next to me - a sling would have helped I think

wigglybeezer Tue 17-Jul-12 20:46:58

Swaddling? Baby swing?

Being tightly wrapped helped grumpy DS1 settle. Did end up doing controlled crying too though.

Irate Tue 17-Jul-12 20:48:53

my DS was an abosolute nightmare with colic until he was about 7mths, he screamed all the time and never smiled. We did a bit of CC but with handholding, and the more solids he ate the better he became, you would never know he was the same child now, please dont worry Im sure things will get easier for you very soon.

Runningblue Tue 17-Jul-12 20:50:16

Re daytime sleep. Does he sleep in the car, in the buggy, in a sling? Could you begin to use one or more of these to try and tease more daytime sleep. I read a very good tip by Elizabeth pantly which said to basically try to get them into a habit of napping however the method, then once the habit is there, you can work on the preferred location...
So sorry if you try all of this, just thought I'd suggest.. My DS was a grumpy little devil with not enough daytime naps and wasnt helped by lots of nighttime wake ups. I resorted to several sleep books and made it a bit of a mission to try getting better quality naps, and it did take some effort but worth it for sanity.
I feel your pain and angst, it's knackering and debilitating.

xkatyx Tue 17-Jul-12 21:11:21

You poor poor thing!! I have 5 children as my second child was like this!! I tried everything as you have.

She was awful I couldn't go anywhere she screamed all the time, no one wanted to have her to give me a break, she crie allllllll the time!!
It's sounds horrible but after a while I really didn't like her much at all. It had a huge impact on our family me and dh argued all the time because we were both tired and I resented the fact he could go to work!! Everyone thought I was mean always saying what a misserable baby she was .. Buy honestly she was!

I used to see other baby's all happy and wounder where I went wrong!!

I did nothing different but when sw turned 1 it got a whole lot easier once she could do things for her self like feeding her self so she could have snacks and being able to walk helpe a lot!!!

She still is a massive winge bag and some days she really doesn't stop (she is 6) but now she is older enough to understand SHUT UP helps a lot smile
You will get through it and it won't last long, the older your little one gets the easier it will become

I also did develop PND because of this also but managed through it all and even went on to have 3 more babies whom are very very happy smile

BlackOutTheSun Tue 17-Jul-12 21:15:35

DD spent her first year with an angry face

Another one here, no one would take her to give me a break as all she did was scream. She did improve once she was on the move.

Sittinginthesun Tue 17-Jul-12 21:17:10

Yes, I had a grumpy one too! He's 8 years now, still serious, but gentle with a wicked sense of humour.

wigglesrock Tue 17-Jul-12 21:23:16

My dd2 was a grumpy old sod for the first 18 months, she was a dreadful sleeper at night as well. It really was exhausting and debilitating, but at about 18 months she seemed to turn a corner, I don't remember how or why but I do remember it happening grin

She is now 4 and from about 2 years she was the most delightful child ever grin She is a real ray of sunshine (I never thought I'd type that 3 years ago!) and an absolute wee star, she is as well super smart and I put down the first 18 months as her being a genius in the making grin

wigglesrock Tue 17-Jul-12 21:23:59

Oh meant to say, I drove her around in the car during the day to encourage her napping.

akaemmafrost Tue 17-Jul-12 21:26:13

You have described my dd.

I actually considered that she might be ill or have a tooth abscess (read that it is possible in babies) because she was so miserable ALL THE TIME! I was in despair, constantly on edge myself, churning anxiety whenever we left the house waiting for the first piercing shriek. The looks we used to get when out! Gave up on taking her out to eat or shopping, because she would always create and I would end up in tears, posted about her on here actually and was bluntly told to on line shop grin, which I did for two years. The tantrums were epic!

She is five now and still VERY sensitive and high maintenance, but she is also very funny, very kind, helpful, incredibly creative, really good company and loves her family so so much. I wouldn't change her for anything, it was all worth it.

ceebeegeebies Tue 17-Jul-12 21:28:15

Another one here who had a grumpy baby - DS2 seemed to spend his early years in a permanent grump although I have no idea what about grin I was fortunate in that he did sleep extremely well but when he was awake, it really was difficult!

It seemed more pronounced as DS1 was (and still is) one of the happiest, sunniest baby/child that there is.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that DS2 is now 3.8 and is so much better - he smiles and giggles and plays and is generally a happy little boy now smile However, he is very quick to let you know if something isn't to his liking and can tantrum with the best of them but me and DH often comment about how happy he is these days compared to the baby days.

Hope that is reassuring in some way smile

akaemmafrost Tue 17-Jul-12 21:30:15

Oh and she never slept during the day either. Would be beside herself with tiredness by the evening, it was hellish but luckily (for both our sakes!) she slept through the night but only from 10 months onwards.

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