Hi there,
I am desperate for some good advice to help me with my seven year old daughter. In the last few months, she has been scared going to sleep at night, and she sometimes wakes up at night scared as well, and can easily take an hour or two to get back to sleep. When probed, she says she is scared of World War III. I am pretty sure this comes from an Enid Blyton Famous Five novel she started reading, which we have put away of course! I am not really sure she is truly scared of WWIII, or if she is simply using this as her excuse for feeling scared. Perhaps she doesn't even know why she is scared, or maybe she isn't scared at all and is just using it as an excuse to come downstairs (although I do sense she is truly scared of something). Prior to this all starting a few months ago, she was a great sleeper.
Basically, nothing stops her fear and allows her to go to sleep other than my husband or I sitting outside her door (we always stay out of eyesight and don't speak to her) until she falls asleep. My husband is much more patient than I am, but I find this so hard to take! We have tried everything I can think of. We have talked to her about her fears and reassured her that WWIII is not going to happen. We let her read in bed with the light on until she gets tired (careful to ensure the books aren't scary!). She has her special blanket and soft toy that she's had since she was tiny. We have a good nightlight on in her room, the bedroom door stays open and the hall light is on. Nothing seems to allay her fears. I always promise her I'll go up and check on her every hour, and I do.
About a month ago, we thought we had it cracked. In desperation to get my evening's back, I had basically bribed her and told her if she could sleep through the night two nights in a row, she'd get a treat (book, stickers, etc). Then three, then four, then five, etc. This seemed to work reasonably well, and after six nights in a row, she managed to continue to do it on her own as long as I promised to go up and check on her every hour, which I did diligently.
A couple nights ago, it has started again. Tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. She wet her bed on purpose in order to have another excuse to come downstairs. I was livid, but tried to control my temper as I really thought she did this only because she was scared. I changed her sheets without saying much, although she knew I was upset. I told her I knew she had wet her bed on purpose, and I was trying not to be cross as I knew that she must have done it because she was really scared and wanted an excuse to come to me. She told me that this was true, and she was scared of WWIII. I asked her for any ideas on how I can help her, but of course, she couldn't think of anything. She is as desperate as I am I think! I really do empathise with her... but I can't take it anymore.
Tonight, I finally sat outside her room reading my book until she fell asleep, but I can't do this every night as it is often 10pm or later before this happens! My husband is away on work a lot and I tend to shoulder most of this burden myself, and I desperately need my evenings back as it is the only time I have to myself to get things done (or my husband and I have to ourselves).
I have tried to think if there might be something else going on in her life, but I don't think there is. She is generally very good at speaking to me about things that bother her, and other than night time, she is a happy, confident and very capable child. Thankfully, her younger brother falls asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow...
I am praying that one of your lovely mums or dads might have some ideas for me. How can I help her get past her night time fears?
Thank you in advance for any advice you might have.
-A very anxious, frustrated and desperate mum!
xx
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Behaviour/development
7-year old scared at night. Desperate for any advice please!
10 replies
specialk1215 · 07/07/2012 22:44
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