My DS is 4yo and is very, very defiant, argumentative and uncooperative. He always argues (just for arguing sake, not that he means what he says), runs away or changes subject in the middle of conversation, talks nonsense and lies. If I take something away as a punishment (a toy, a film etc), he wouldn?t accept that but rather try to climb and take the taken away. I am running out of means how to make him understand the consequence. I am still hoping that he does not have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), mainly because we do have some good days and although he is not an angel in nursery, the nursery has not raised a concern (yet).
How do I react to this?
In the park:
DS: who?s are these footprints?
Me: looks like a dog?s
DS: no, it?s not! (he is only telling this to argue with me, not that he knows who?s footprints it is)
Me: Don?t ask me then if you know better?
This morning:
DS closed the stairgate in front of me, just as I was coming from upstairs with DS2.
Our nanny: DS, open the stairgate for mummy
DS: No! (smiles with a silly smile which I hate)
Our nanny: DS, mummy will be late to work.
DS: No! (continues to smile with his silly smile and makes sure the gate is closed)
Me: 1? 2?
DS opens the gate and runs away
This morning:
Daddy: Morning DS, how was your night?
DS: Not so good
Daddy: why?
DS: I got a medal yesterday (he diverts from answering a question many, many times?)
Daddy: I am asking why your night wasn?t good?
DS runs away.
Yesterday:
Our nanny: good morning (she just came in)
Me: good morning. DS, say ?good morning?
DS doesn?t say it deliberately
Me: why don?t you say ?good morning? to nanny?
DS: good evening (runs through and pushes nanny with no reason)
Yesterday:
A toy broke and a dangerous spiral wire came out. I am taking this to the bin.
DS: I want it, I want it!
Me: too dangerous, you and DS2 might get hurt.
DS: I want it, I want it, I want it (grabs my hand in which I have the wire and tries to take it).
Me: you are not playing with this, it is too dangerous (and putting it on high wardrobe, as if I put in the bin, he will take straight away).
DS gets annoyed and while screaming ?I want it?? punches me and runs away.
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Behaviour/development
A very defiant 4yo... how would you cope? (with examples)
50 replies
confusedperson · 07/02/2012 10:19
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