over excitable five year old

[fattybum]

Anyone have/had one of these? And does it get better? Ds1 is 5.7 and always been like it. From a young age he has been "into everything" and what you'd call a handful.

Anyway, this morning we ended up walking to school with his classmate and it was horrible. They were playfighting, screaming (my ds!) and messing about the whole way. Whilst other boy was being just as bad, it's often like this with my ds. And the problem is, once he gets like it, he just doesn't respond to me anymore. I try to get him to calm down and look me in the eye but he just seems to "zone out". If I try to hold his hand, he pulls it away and I end up having to hold his hand very forcefully. It makes me very nervous and on edge, and I dread any social events that are coming up. He's not bad when it's just us, or maybe close relatives, but even then he's unpredictable. I don't mind him being excited and having fun, but when it is imposing on other people e.g other people on the street etc I think it's unacceptable. When we walk to and from school on our own he is sensible and quite good to talk to.

I just want to know that he's going to behave himself and, if he does get overexcited, that I can calm him down. It's like having two different children!

Please help!

[hermionestranger]

Marking my place. Sounds similar to my DS.

[fattybum]

just like to add, he's good at school and i don't think he means to be "naughty" just can't control himself! My mum says it will just come with age...

[fattybum]

bump

[bugsonbuns]

My DS is 6.5....same. Smidgeon better - can be uber sensible if serious danger to younger brother imminent but otherwise is same...still

[fattybum]

Just us then! or is there anyone who's been through this and come out the other end?

[hermionestranger]

Well we can support each other then! Wine o'clock?

[harrap]

No you are not the only ones. My son can get like this, into a really hyper state, also he has trouble staying still on the mat at school and his teacher tells me about it as if I can do something. I've tried talking to him and explaining why he needs to stay still but its like he just can't help himself. He can be quiet, still and concentrate, but when he gets over excited I find it really embarrassing (especially as his best friend is the best behaved child in the universe) because the only way to get him to take notice of me is to shout like a loon.

I'm looking for answers too, but in the mean time can I have a glass of wine with you too?

[Wellthen]

I've never been through this so not sure I can give the advice you want! But I will attempt. OP - what are your discipline methods at home? For example do you do time outs etc but then find these are useless when he gets over excited?

If this is the case then the only thing you can do is remove the excitement and/or try to nip it in the bud as soon as it starts. I hope you dont mind me saying but you may need to see him like a dog. When an animal is over excited shouting 'stop that!' doesnt help and often excites them more. Animal experts advise standing still, shhhing and stroking.

He isnt calm enough to listen to you and so cant be expected to modify his behaviour in the way that 'time out' techniques require. Warnings etc are pointless as he cant hear them. The time out needs to actually come first.

Remove him, if possible from the situation (in the case your describe I would have stopped walking, asked your friend to go on without you and held your boy still, crouching at his height) or remove the excitement. It should only take a few minutes for him to calm with his friend gone. Then just treat it as you would any other bad behaviour - explain what he is doing wrong and what will happen if it continues. You need a very calm level voice, try your hardest not to shout even if he is screaming.

If you cant remove the excitement then you may have to bite the bullet and manhandle him a bit. He is young enough still to have a time out whilst being held. Hold his hand (take his wrist if he wriggles away, its not cruel. You are the adult and must take control) and insist he stand still and stop screaming/running/being silly. Say calmly that you will let go when he stops.

In this case the time out is literally that - time away from a situation. It is not a punishment but something that is necessary to get through to the child.

For your own sanity - remember that this is completely normal. Everyone gets overloaded with emotion, its just children fail to hide it. They get over tired and scream the place down, they wail with despair when you take a toy away. Adults do the same - say things in anger and then feel bad later. Dont feel bad about it or worry that he is zoned out, he is exactly as you say, an over excited 5 year old and needs to be calmed down.

[Tgger]

He sounds normal. I have banned walking to school with friends for the moment due to this issue!

[Ilovechocolatetoomuch]

Hi! I know this is a zombie thread but I wondered how the boys turned out?
My 5 1/2 year old is exactly the same and I have no idea what to do.

[Chellelouise89]

Hello. Not sure if this is still an active post but I now have an over excited 4 year old - will be 5 in two weeks.
He has just started reception and like the other posters when we hit the playground in the morning it's like he's just eaten a bag of sugar. Running around, shouting and just zoning out from what I'm saying.
The teacher has spoken to me a few times about this and he's been in trouble for it. Either pushing or being too boisterous.
Can anyone provide any advice or updates on how you got on? Struggling with anxiety with this at the moment.