I honestly don't know where to go from here.
She screams, she tantrums, she hits me. Everything is a battle. Going to the supermarket to buy a Christmas Tree this morning I was hit, smacked and pushed throughout the entire trip. This was because I refused to buy her cuddly toy.
She stays awake until ten, shouting for me to come to her for a drink, toilet, cuddle, whatever.
We probably have three meltdowns a day, where she is totally beside herself and out of control. Screaming, shouting, telling me she hates me, threatening to hit me.
She has always been quite high maintenance but this is a fairly recent development. The sheer volume and intensity of her anger is frightening.
My ds who is 8 was actually trying to stand between her and me this morning as he was so distressed by the way she was going for me. Obviously I told him it was not his job to do this and reassured him that I was not being hurt.
I honestly don't know where to go from here, I am shouting more and more and feel that at times these situations are totally out of both of our control.
Anyone else going through this, I adore my child but I am actually becoming frightened of her tantrums and I never thought I would be like this. I am not the type to back down from them though and so the intensity increases. I honestly do not know the best way to handle her now. Time out works, in that she will calm down, cry and say sorry but within an hur or two is building up to the next one.
Believe me when I say that she does not stop. For example she asked for a drink of water 5 times tonight, each time she got a sip, in the end I said no as it was late and time for bed. She screamed continuously for a drink then for half an hour and only stopped when she fell asleep.
Does this sound familiar to anyone because I am just so sad that this is happening to us as we have always been so close 
.
Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.
Behaviour/development
My 5 year old, much loved dd, is honestly at times a horrible, horrible child.
Petraperfect · 05/12/2011 22:21
Sorry to hear you are going through this
What is she like at school?
baubley I already have a child with ASD and he has had some real meltdowns, but for some reason with him it seemed more dealable with, he has never been violent towards me though. I am beginning (only in the past few days tbh) to have very small suspicious that she may have traits as well, although it is manifesting itself very differently in her if this is the case and showing at a much later age. Maybe it is time to see the GP .
Your situation sounds awful, poor you.
If you think there's a chance it could be a learned pattern of behaviour, a way of exerting control over you - and from the way you contrast her behaviour at school it sounds as though this could be it - then it might be worth using telly as a reward. I.e from now on she has to earn the right to watch it by complying with your expectations of her. Be specific about what you expect, and maybe set up a chart. Then let her experience the unpleasant consequences of her actions - when she tantrums because you say she's not earned telly, just walk away and leave her to cry. You MUST remain calm and dispassionate, no matter what. Do not respond at all.
If she follows you, tell her you're giving her time out for 5 mins and that she must stay on the step. If she follows you again, threaten to increase the time, then follow through with it.
Eventually, after a lengthy cry on her own, give her a cuddle but say nothing - especially don't focus on the bad behaviour, as she's learning for herself that this doesn't pay. I'd expect that after a few cycles of this she'd click that she's going to get nowhere.
This worked with similar, though not as extreme, behaviour from DS, who's the same age.
Well I just went and whispered how much I loved her loads of times so that she might absorb that while asleep. Just had to explain once again to ds why I shouted at his sister and he said "well I don't blame you, she is very mean to you" .
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.