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Imaginary Friends

(24 Posts)
geraldine1969 Thu 30-Oct-03 22:58:30

My 5yr old has an imaginary friend called Sammy, who is (allegedly) the colour blue. She says that he calls her stupid and tells her to hit herself is this normal. Am i alone?

Helsbels Fri 31-Oct-03 11:23:38

It is normal for children to have imaginary friends but to have one that is abusive is not normal. It is usually a sign of distress manifesting itself in this way. Is your child scared of anything? Has she seen any domestic upset? Could anything be upsetting her at school? Is she being bullied? Any recent upset at home? You need to sit down and think of anything that could be wrong. I would avoid asking her directly and perhaps try to sneak the answer out of her as she may be scared that she is doing something wrong. Imaginary friends are always there for a reason. Don't mean to upset you but I think you need to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible.

FineVintage Fri 31-Oct-03 11:28:25

I had an imaginary friend called Freddy, who lived in the attic with his Mum, Dad and Granny. I think I 'invented' him as our house used to make lots of odd settling noises (i think we had mice or something) and so I invented him and his family as a sensible explaination for the noises. My Mum used to really join in and we'd play etc. For me my IF experience was positive , agree with helsbels on the violence being odd.

motherinferior Fri 31-Oct-03 19:18:52

I agree with Helsbels too - it does sound disturbing, doesn't it, as if she's externalising things she's picked up elsewhere.

My dd1 has an Imaginary Dragon which is usually pink, and poos all over the trees in the park

geraldine1969 Fri 31-Oct-03 22:10:47

it is upsetting for me and can not think for the life of me what is so distressing for her for this to happen. She has not witnessed domestic upset, lives in a loving home, enjoys school and is a bright kid. I always think though that as i work part time i am to blame (- but if i didn;t we'd be in financial trouble)She is an only child so doesnt have any sibling rivalry.

geraldine1969 Fri 31-Oct-03 22:12:32

where would i get help from? should i speak to doctor or health visitor?

janh Fri 31-Oct-03 22:51:17

Hi, geraldine. Please don't worry about your part-time job sending your dd round the bend!

I just googled imaginary friends and this was the very first link - there are some pretty spacey ones on here, eg Blinky of the Coonas and the black eye. (There are other sites too - haven't looked at them.) HTH!

geraldine1969 Sat 01-Nov-03 22:04:55

Thanks so much for that link! I am certainly not alone with this type of imaginary friend. One girl on the link had three imaginary friends one whom was abusive with an attitude problem and one was a six foot rat! She's now a well adjusted teenager! I know its silly of me to think that working would make an imaginary friend materialise in my daughters head but i hate the fact that i have to work and i am not there 24/7. She may be picking up on my tension.

Helsbels Sun 02-Nov-03 11:06:01

Hows it going? Did you find any useful info?

jampot Sun 02-Nov-03 12:03:07

My son (not so long ago) had an imaginary friend called Bob. "Bob" did a lot of naughty things (although nothing dangerous) If my son wouldn't own up to doing something he blamed "Bob". The last straw came when my son cut down a pair of trousers and a tshirt to fit "Bob". (Bad mother - sharp scissors!!!). So my son and I took "Bob" to the toilet and flushed him away!!!!!! Not mentioned again.

motherinferior Sun 02-Nov-03 14:05:52

Please don't reproach yourself for working, geraldine. I work four days a week and like I say, the worst dragon does is poo!

BadHair Sun 02-Nov-03 14:52:19

My dp used to have an IF called (chortle)Bonk. Bonk was a 4 foot guinea pig dressed in a tweed suit, and they used to talk to each other on the telephone. Despite much private sniggering about it over the years we've never told ds1 (now 3) about Bonk, but a couple of months ago he started talking about his friend the big mouse who wore a suit! D'ya think Bonk has come back?

charly Sun 02-Nov-03 14:59:36

Don't worry - I used to have an imaginary friend called clothy old moppy who would feed me chicken soup. I think that it's just fairly normal.

fio2 Sun 02-Nov-03 19:12:38

mine are called harry and tommy

geraldine1969 Sun 02-Nov-03 21:44:21

Today, sammy came out of P's head and we stamped on it and since then he has gone off the scene. I must admit i remember pretending pop stars were in my room as a child such as woody the drummer from bay sitty Rollers (remember them!)as my sister loved the guitarist, Alan, i would try and get them a date but woody wouldn't have it. I am so glad i have found this site and everyone seems really friendly.

One thing though, what does dd, dh, ds mean? and should i be using them!

beetroot Sun 02-Nov-03 21:46:07

Message withdrawn

geraldine1969 Sun 02-Nov-03 21:50:00

thanks - my dh bro used to have an imaginary rabbit and made his mother set a place at the table for him. we still remind him of that.....!

charly Sun 02-Nov-03 21:52:55

Looks like nearly everyone has had some sort of imaginary friend or knows of someone who has. All part of being a kid. Wouldn't it be great if we could still blame things on imaginary friends?
eg DH - who ate all the chocolate cake/drank all the red wine...etc

dinosaur Sun 02-Nov-03 21:54:14

Get this - I had an imaginary cow.

Yes, you read that right - an imaginary cow.

And what is that my parents used to do B&B, and I once solemnly took a newly-arrived German boy out to the byre to see my ...imaginary cow....

dinosaur Mon 03-Nov-03 11:40:01

WEll - I killed this thread, didn't I?

coppertop Mon 03-Nov-03 12:05:27

"Come up and see my cow" !! And that line actually worked?? LOL

dinosaur Mon 03-Nov-03 12:06:39

Well, mum and dad stopped doing b&b not long afterwards, so it did sort of repel the alien invaders

codswallop Mon 03-Nov-03 12:07:04

was it a fresian - anberdeen angus?

dinosaur Mon 03-Nov-03 12:21:24

It was a Charolais. I liked Charolais.

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