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Anyone else have a 5 yr old with 2personalities??

(4 Posts)
helsbels03 Tue 25-Oct-11 10:32:24

ok that may be a little harsh but it seems like that at the moment/- she is hyper one minute, then grizzly and miserable the next. Anything can spark her off- the wrong piece of toast, missing the first note of the music of her tv programme, having to wait whilst I changed ds nappy, me not 'tickling' her right, having to share a doll with dd2 ( she had 3, her sister 1). And that is just this morning!!! When anything doesn't go her way she hits, makes rude noises, head butts, screams and has a tantrum. Only when she is with me and dh, at school she is an angel! Then when she is not grizzly she is totally hyper, running jumping unable to keep still.
She has been like this for a while but she is not sleeping well at the moment which is making her uncontrollable at times.
Any suggestions, at the moment I am putting her in her room when she grizzled and she comes down when she is calm, but it doesn't seem to be working. Dh is so concerned he thinks she needs to see a psychologist.
I have just been diagnosed with pnd - ds 9 months. Am thinking she must be copying me because I have been finding it difficult to stay calm.

Sorry for long post, thanks if you got to the end

CailinDana Tue 25-Oct-11 12:07:01

Perhaps she is very sensitive and is reacting to tension in the house. I have found, from teaching, that some children pick up very quickly on how others feel but because they're so young they don't know how to deal with it. They absolutely hate to see others angry or in distress and react in a variety of ways, including becoming hyper as a way of avoiding interaction. It sounds from what you describe like she might be very anxious. A lot of her behaviour sounds like a need to feel in control. She probably has that sense of control at school where everything is very routine oriented.

Do you think giving her a measure of control (over non-important things) or introducing a routine might help? Does she respond well to responsibility? Giving her jobs to do, such as getting out the breakfast things or bringing you nappies when changing the baby might make give her a sense of control. Have you asked her if anything is bothering her?

Sorry to hear you have pnd by the way. Don't be afraid to ask your HV for help. Do you have friends you can talk to about this in real life?

helsbels03 Tue 25-Oct-11 16:10:15

She definately likes routine and doesn't cope well with change. Bedtime is pretty strict, bath story bed each night. Will try giving her a responsibility at key flash times see if I can distract her before she blows.

Tgger Tue 25-Oct-11 21:44:29

Awwwww. I bet she improves as you get help with your pnd. It's sods law but as pp said they (young kids) pick up on moods/feelings especially with those close to them so it may well be that she's picking up on how you are feeling.

You are right that if she's not sleeping well this could explain a lot. If you can find ways that you can keep calm as you say and be consistent with expectations and consequences over her behaviour, hopefully she'll settle. DS was like this a while ago. It is really hard to stay calm but if you can and detach slightly from her tantrums this may help both of you.

With my 5 year old I do actually draw his attention to his behaviour and ask him (calmly) if he would react like he is doing to me to his teacher. I also explain that when he behaves like this (screaming/rude response/aggresive) I get upset/cross and then This is often enough to get his brain to kick in and for him to change his behaviour this doesn't help anyone either!

Good luck!

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