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Ds has ruined a birthday... AGAIN

(66 Posts)
ks Wed 29-Oct-03 15:42:20

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monkey Wed 29-Oct-03 15:56:03

sorry, can only add my comiserations, no real suggestions. My birthday was crap too, courtesy of 2 tired, grumpy toddlers and one crap dh who didn't get me ANy presents, never mind not suitable ones.

I guess kids and shops don't mix, and I find it infuriating with the constant demands for 'presents' and never being satisfied unless we're doing something specifically child-orientated.

I'll be interested to hear other people's advice/suggestions, because my ds's constant demands for things, and his inseccant complaining is really getting me down atm too. Sorry to hear it is still a problem at 6. Lucky dh has taken him off. Does he get treats very often? You say he doesn't normally demand. Sorry, the behaviour and capabilities of a 6 year old is a bit advanced for me, but can realte & sympathise.

That was probably totally useless. Sorry.

M2T Wed 29-Oct-03 15:58:40

Oh KS.... how shit for you! Sounds like you ds is attention seeking.

No advice about that, but the girls night out sounds great!

kayleigh Wed 29-Oct-03 16:00:17

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday ks. Hope things get better for you this evening.

Twinkie Wed 29-Oct-03 16:00:20

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tamum Wed 29-Oct-03 16:01:53

Firstly let me say


and then I know *exactly* how you feel. The only way round this kind of behaviour that I have found is to save the treats until the end. Tell them "if you are good and don't whine, I will buy you that book (or whatever), but if you whine all the time then we will go straight home". It's not a brilliant solution, but it does help. I hope the rest of the day is a big improvement!

codswallop Wed 29-Oct-03 16:03:30

are you really suuprised? kids hate shopping!

sorry though. sounds crap

codswallop Wed 29-Oct-03 16:04:43

also - are birthdays really that important any more?

ks Wed 29-Oct-03 16:05:38

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winnie1 Wed 29-Oct-03 16:11:04

Ks, I am sorry you've had a sh*te day... My only advice is do something nice for yourself this evening. Ask someone to babysit (I know its short notice but... ), if impossible get dh to babysit and ring up a friend and invite them out for a drink/meal. Whateveer you do tonight enjoy it an dmake sure it is for YOU... HAPPY BIRTHDAY (whats left of it).

And Coddy, I think Birthdays are important whatever ones age is... maybe I am just a big kid

kayleigh Wed 29-Oct-03 16:14:41

ks, if you can't get out tonight I suggest you lock yourself in the bathroom with a deep bubble bath, some wine, some chocolate and a magazine and enjoy.

sykes Wed 29-Oct-03 16:15:21

What's Billy Bear, Twinkie?

Twinkie Wed 29-Oct-03 16:17:17

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sis Wed 29-Oct-03 16:18:23

Aw ks, my sypathies, I really hope things get better for the rest of the day (and the rest of half term too!). It is very frustrating that they are such self centred so and sos sometimes! Our problem, with ds , is to some extent, of our own making in that he gets so much attention from us that he finds it difficult to understand and accept it when an adult is supposed to get the attention - he is okay with other children getting attention but not adults!

My only solution is to split up when we *have* to go shopping with ds so that one of us entertains him in a suitable shop/cafe while the other one rushes into the shop and buys what is needed.


sykes Wed 29-Oct-03 16:18:41

Sorry, am sounding like an obsessed nutter, but is it for children - is that why it's called Billy Bear?

Twinkie Wed 29-Oct-03 16:20:59

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ks Wed 29-Oct-03 16:36:39

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sykes Wed 29-Oct-03 16:40:32

Thanks, Twinkie - I can now go to the solicitor at peace knowing what Billy Bear is.

Twinkie Wed 29-Oct-03 16:42:40

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florenceuk Wed 29-Oct-03 16:47:09

Happy birthday KS! Next year, take the whole day off and go and have a spa.

sis Wed 29-Oct-03 16:47:37

KNow what you mean about sulking too! but hey, go give him a hug and ask him whether he would like it if you all enjoyed the rest of the day and go and have a great evening!!

ks Wed 29-Oct-03 17:03:36

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Twink Wed 29-Oct-03 18:22:39

Oh sympathy ks, and happy birthday. It was mine last week, I think I opened one card and two presents as dd insisted she 'needed' to help.

I had the screaming abdabs on the pre-school run as I didn't see why I should have to listen to her nursery rhymes when dh had bought me a much coveted cd and tried explaining it was 'mummy's special day' and just got 'BUT I WANT MY SONGS ON'

I abandoned my birthday and had an 'official' one on Saturday when a friend treated me to a spa day (florenceuk had the right idea). Would highly recommend it, I then came home chilled, ready for anything only to find she'd got dh to buy me a cake as I hadn't had one on my birthday. Sniff, love her really.

Ghosty Wed 29-Oct-03 19:07:02

Ks ... happy birthday ... and sympathies
I always expect way too much on my birthday (am a big baby at heart) and am usually disappointed. The first couple of birthdays after DS was born I felt really hard done by because I still had to get up at the crack of dawn and still had to do 'mummy' stuff ... but since DS has been a bit older DH and I have made an effort to show DS that it is someone else's special day ... except I still haven't managed to do something just for me - for my last birthday we all went on a Steam Train ride (fun but really it was for DS' benefit).
Last month it was DH's birthday and we involved DS as much as possible ... DS helped make the cake and decorated it (looked like a disaster but DH loved it) and DS helped wrap the presents (used 100 miles of sellotape ) and helped DH open them the next day ... it was nice.
On the shopping front ... my DS is usually an angel when I take him to the shops - just him and me and I love taking him shopping but for some reason when the 3 of us go it is TORTURE! He plays up and whinges, he demands for DH to carry him, he runs away and hides, he demands things ... so we have stopped going together as a family
Next year ... get a baby sitter for the weekend and let DH treat you to a whole night away ... that is what I would love to do ....

Chinchilla Wed 29-Oct-03 19:09:56

KS - Hope you get some 'fun' time soon. Children are so selfish aren't they!

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