Everyday and everything is a battle....
Getting dressed, brushing teeth (invariably has to be pinned down). Won't go the toilet unless desperated.
Strong willed doesn't do it justice.
It is getting me and my DS down - we fight about how we react - I think DH gets too aggressive in his tone which I think just wind DS2 up more.
It is a control thing and tbh he is a little shit at times and bully's his brother 5.5 a lot. He can't stand DS getting any attention. Basically he has an ego the size of a planet.
Bizarrely he is only like this at home - at nursery he is a model child - very sociable, great at sharing and joining in and basically just doing what he is told and what is expected of him. I can tell that he is well liked and contributes a lot.
He has always been incredibly articulate and there is very little between him and his older brother language wise.
I've tried a sticker chart for getting dressed an brushing teeth but after a couple of days he wasn't bothered about it anymore.
Any suggestions gratefully received....
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How to parent a VERY stubborn 3.5 DS2??
scotgirl · 21/10/2011 20:41
I have been parenting one of these for 16 years!!
My advice would be to choose your battles, if it is really not important let it go and save your energy for important things.
My Dd2 is sooo stubborn she once had a choice to change her really dirty trousers and go on an outing or stay in the dirty trousers and not go. She stayed in the trousers and I sat and put my feet up while the rest of the family went. She was 7 then but she is still the same now.
She can be lovely too
.
Good grief, there must be a parallel universe, as you have described my DS2 to a tee - even down to the age gap between him and his older brother, his articulacy, how well-behaved he is at nursery. Weird! I think I was teetering on the brink of despair between the ages of about 3.0 and 3.6 with him - he is now 3.8, and I can see light at the end of the tunnel (and for once, it isn't an oncoming train).
No magic answer, though - just dogged persistence with a few key techniques (giving choices and following through if he refuses to pick one - I choose and it's tough if he then decides he wants to choose after all. Lots of tantrums, but ignore ignore ignore) and rules (no hitting and speaking nicely). Plus squeezing in as many cuddles and as much one-to-one as I could - even when I really didn't want to do either, as he was being such a bugger. Don't know if this is relevant to you (and apologies if not) but I also found I had to work extra hard at being fair between him and DS1, and not to scapegoat DS2 for every squabble etc - tempting though it was...
Anyway, am pleased to report that things are slowly starting to improve - partly as a result of the above (plus consistency from me and DH), but mainly, I suspect, through simple passage of time: I think that DS2 is just calming down a bit as he is maturing, like DS1 did (who went through a similar phase, although he lacked DS2's intensity and tenacity in the face of a challenge 
).
Much sympathy - it is emotionally draining parenting a child like this, and I have been driven to tears and rage on various occasions by DS2's behaviour. It is lucky that he is so very cute, otherwise I might have left him on a wolf-ravaged hillside by now...
My friend has a dd like this, I adore her I really really do, but very grateful my most willful is more compliant then hers
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