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Anyone else with a late smiling baby? Reassurance desperately needed

(9 Posts)
HestonMoomintroll Wed 19-Oct-11 14:53:48

My daughter is nine weeks old and was a week late. Since birth she has never been big has on eye contact, although in fairness this has improved dramatically. She never exactly gazes at me, but she'll study my face and hold eye contact well if she's in the mood. Her tracking also seems okay. But she's still not smiling at me. She'll smile very occasionally (as in twice ever) at people whereas she will grin at her mobile happily for quite a long time. I know nine weeks is late for a social smile...I actually posted when she was seven weeks old after her first smile, but I'm I not not convinced it wasn't wind. Has anyone any experience of this? I can't help but imagine the worst, but other than the smiling she's a lovely cuddly little thing. I'm really beginning to panic and it's ruining this whole thing. I just want someone to tell me that she's okay.

Tempingmaniac Wed 19-Oct-11 14:56:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands Wed 19-Oct-11 14:57:38

There's a vast spectrum of normal. DD smiled at 2 weeks. My niece smiled at 12 weeks. They are both happy, cheerful, smiley children. Made bugger all difference to that side of things.

It's a learnt behaviour so just keep smiling at her and it'll come. A lot of babies like to look at contrast as opposed to faces, in which case you'd notice her gaze sort of 'slips' from eye contact to your hairline often or to a random spot in the distance. DN did this a lot, she just wasn't interested in our ugly mugs until she was about 3 months. She rarely stops smiling now.

I'm sure there's nothing at all wrong. Do you like your hv? I'm sure s/he would reassure you.

HestonMoomintroll Wed 19-Oct-11 14:58:41

She's generally grumpy, we thought she had colic but a combination of Infacol, Colief and osteopathy seemed to put paid to that. She's really vocal, babbles away to herself loads and seems generally incredibly alert, just... no smiling. At me. And I don't think smiles at her mobile count, do they?

ShowOfHands Wed 19-Oct-11 14:58:59

Our hv doesn't believe in the smiles = wind thing either.

HestonMoomintroll Wed 19-Oct-11 15:00:01

My HV said she's sure she'll be fine but to keep an eye on her. It's really demoralising smiling like a loon at a tiny baby who seems to want to look at anything other than me!

moojie Wed 19-Oct-11 15:03:15

My ds didn't smile regularly until after 9 weeks. I think we had the odd smile from 8 weeks but I remember him not smiling once on his christening day when just over 9 weeks. Typically all the other babies were beaming away. I think proper smiles came soon after but you had to work hard for them! Now an extremely smiley and sociable 2yr old but has a very serious side to him too!

ShowOfHands Wed 19-Oct-11 15:04:18

DS laughs/smiles in his sleep. He's 6 weeks and certainly not looking at me when he does it. But he is showing clear emotion. I do think the smiling at the mobile counts. There was some research done that suggested smiling in the early days is related more to how content they are than anything else. So ds will not smile when he's hungry/wet/dirty/windy, no matter how much I gurn at him. If your child has colic or reflux or is windy or anything else, it makes sense to me then that they may smile less. Once she's able to sit up a bit and the tummy issues start to clear, I bet you'll find she smiles much more. If she's content to lie and look at her mobile, then I bet they're brief moments of her tummy being discomfort free and that's why she smiles then.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Wed 19-Oct-11 15:04:24

My dd was a late smiler and late laugh-er. I'm sorry, I can't remember when exactly she did smile, but it's completely unimportant now because she is an incredibly smiley happy social 20mo.

Honestly, she sounds fine, although I realise how worrying it is. I used to constantly compare my dd to other babies. I kind of wish I has enjoyed her as she was now!

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