8 month old CONSTANTLY whiny

[ebmummy]

OMG. 8 month old DS is literally driving me ker-azy cos he whines non-stop all day long. It used to only be in the afternoons, but in the past few weeks he's doing it during the day too. I've tried everything-putting him straight to bed (he whines there too till he finally falls asleep), playing with him, picking him up etc but to no avail. He's not teething, and otherwise fit and well. What do I do? DH going away for a few weeks next week and am dreading the night shift...

Anyone else going through the same thing?

[cbawden]

Yep! My DD is (or used to be) the most happy, content baby ever (to the point where I decided it would be lovely to have another baby and am now 9 weeks pregnant). She is also 8 months. I'm assuming that it's down to being frustrated. She can crawl and pull herself up to stand but clearly wants to be able to move around on her feet. Some days when she's particularly whingy I literally count down the minutes until nap time. I then feel guilty as on the whole I've loved being a mum and spending all day every day with her.

I'm hoping that it's just a phase which will pass very soon but in the meantime I try and get out and about at least once a day (even if it's just a trip to the local pets at home so she can look at the small animals) and I have cbeebies 'small potatoes' on series link as that always shuts her up even if only for 3 minutes! No real advice but you have my sympathy

[AnxiousElephant]

They start to get separation anxiety around this age and struggle being left. Does he prefer being stood? Mine hated sitting and my dd2 couldn't crawl so used to whinge constantly. I found the static playstations a godsend so she could indulge herself with bouncing and standing Also if it around meals try self feeding. Try messy play with custard, jelly that it doesn't matter if they eat it (on the kitchen floor). They like getting their hands in things, music on, TV if necessary while you do things Fresh air every day, swings, slide with you holding, seeing animals entertain them. Lots of talking. They just want loads of interaction and usually whining gets it

[Timeoutofmind]

I feel your pain. My 9mo is like this at the moment. She isn't crawling yet so think part of it is frustration but she doesn't seem happy whatever we do. The only thing that stops her whinging is eating - she is now munching on grapes so we can make it to her naptime at 9am!

[ebmummy]

Thanks for the advice ladies. He isn't crawling yet, so I think it's probably the frustration. Also, I think it may be hunger. I know I sound like a terrible mum, but am trying to limit watch how much he eats. He's currently 21.5 pounds, and not yet fully 8 months, and just wants to eat all the time. It goes more than just exploring things with his mouth-he literally doesn't have an off button. And cos both my parents obese, am worried he too will end up being big. Please not: am NOT starving him-still bfing on demand (about 6-7 times a day), big bottle of milk at night and 3 meals a day with fruit in between. Just reducing his portion sizes at lunch and dinner to 2 tablespoons. Should I just feed him as much as he wants? My mw says yes, and give him less milk (3 bfs a day), but I though milk should make up the majority of his diet until 12 months?

[TheGhoulsAreJewelled]

I have an 8mo whingy baby too - frustrated as she can't crawl. No advice, but I feel your pain!!!

And yes, I'd feed as much as your baby wants to eat.

[Moulesfrites]

Two tablespoons doesn't seem like very much! What centile is he on? If he is tracking his line then he is maybe just big and not overweight. My ds is 9 mo and was a similar weight at 8 mo, he is 91 st centile so just a big lad. Bf babies are much less likely to be obese anyway. As he approaches a year I would think about gradually dropping the bfs and increasing the solids.

[ebmummy]

moules, he's in between the 75th and 91st centile for weight and height. But he looks really porky lol. I also think I'm slightly obsessed with his weight cos dh keeps making a point that fatness doesn't run on his side of the family, but it does in mine so if ds ends up tubby, it will be my 'faulty' genes. Naturally I reminded that in this case, ds will end up a fruitbag cos my MIL is nuts (undiagnosed but definitely nuts), which soon shut him up..

oh, am having a bad day. No wonder ds whinges!

[Octaviapink]

8 months is pretty standard for this. Suddenly realised he can't move around, and wants to. Can't eat properly, and wants to. Can't communicate, and wants to. I'd be cross and frustrated too! Just a case of 'this too shall pass', unfortunately. And anecdotally, boys seem to be worse for it than girls (I have no evidence to back this up other than what people tell me!) - perhaps because they're generally more interested in the gross motor skills. (Again, a generalisation!)

Don't even think of worrying about his weight at this point - most babies get tubbier up until the point they start moving. DD was practically spherical at 9m and is now a skinny-belinky toddler. I wouldn't hold back on the solids - if you're worried then don't feed him purees, just let him eat whatever he can feed himself. At 8m you could probably think about dropping a couple of the feeds or making them more regular - DS was having four feeds a day at this point, one before each nap and one at bedtime (overnight was another story!) Solids are starting to take over at this age so you can reduce the breastmilk.

[cheekymonk]

Glad to see I am not unusual here although sorry to hear others are suffering too! My dd is 8 months and been much more whiny than normal. I can'treally complain as generally she is very happy and content and everyone comments on this but she caught a cold 3 weeks ago and has been teething and bless her she has really struggled with it! She is crawling and pulling herself, babbling like mad. it is nighttimes where she has really changed, she woke 4 times last night and I give her some milk( I know! ) and she won't settle in cot only with me in bed (I know!) I am totally making rod for own back but she seems to need a lot of comfort. She shares room with brother who is 6 so I am also conscious of not waking him up! She is so noisy in her cot sometimes, moaning/grunting and looking for attention I think (am pretty sure its not wind). Its been really hard going and I have tried to be patient, thinking she is unwell but she is getting better now but still waking! Am planning to stop feeding her to sleep and alter bedtime routine but am summoning up the courage! Solids are going well,, 3 meals a day but she wants all her milk at night! My dd is also 21lbs 4 ozs and on 91st centile. She looks a bit chubby but so did ds as same age and he is slim now. I am obese so am aware of it but I think she is fine. HV not concerned either so don't worry ebmummy.

[TheGhoulsAreJewelled]

cheeky my dd is similar. Eats 3 meals a day, but I struggle to get her to have milk too. Then she wants feeding all night! Wanted to go cold turkey on the night feeds, but she's got a bad cold, so won't do it yet.

[cheekymonk]

Thats interesting ghouls. Yes I can't decide whether to go cold turkey r gradually reduce milk feeds at night HV said to offer water... Nightmare!

[hardboiledpossum]

You really shouldn't be limiting his portion sizes. A baby can regulate their intake and if they're not allowed to do this it can cause problems with obesity later in life. What you are doing is counterproductive. Two tablespoons doesn't seem much at all. I've just counted how many tablespoons fit in to my DS's food pots and it's ten and he eats all of that! My DS is also 8 months and weighs 23lb but has stayed on the same line since birth.

[CubiksRube]

ebmummy, I know exactly what you're going through - DS is the same. He's just over 8 months and constantly whinging. I think his is down to teething however.

Just re his weight, don't limit his portion sizes! DS was 23.5lbs at 8 months and DP and I are both skinny folk (but were both massive babies). Once your DS starts crawling, walking and generally being more active you will have a much better idea of his weight. Listen to your midwife who is rightly saying that you should let your DS eat as much healthy food as he would like.

[ebmummy]

It was the hunger. Today gave him as much as he wanted, and he whined a lot less. And surprisingly, he didn't eat much more than what I usually give him... He had half an avocado after his dinner (I count it as dessert) and went to bed reasonably happy. Thanks to the ladies who said I shouldn't limit his food-I feel much better about letting him eat what he wants. And sod never mind what dh thinks! Also I figure cos he eats all healthy home cooked meals, with fruit or veg for snacks, then he'll hopefully even out in the future. My only problem is that he has a dairy allergy-anything with cow's milk make him break out in a rash, so his main source of calcium is from bm so not keen to cut down on his milk just yet. Any ideas on what he can eat (not dairy) with calcium and iron?

[Sparklyboots]

Calcium in green stuff (where the cows get it) also sesame seeds (tahini is a good toast topping). According to Shazzie, delightfully mental vegan warrior, your baby needs 270mg Calcium between 6-12 months and is therefore probably getting all he needs in breast milk. However, if you are concerned
Light tahini 270mg in a 40g serving
Almonds 75mg in 30g serving (I give my 9mo DS ground nuts to no adverse affect though I do soak them first because I think this makes them more digestible)
Figs 250mg in 100g serving
Nori (seaweed) 36mg in 15g serving
Dandelion leaf 28mg in 15g serving
Kale 90mg in 50g serving
Other significant sources: Parsley, watercress, kelp, pak choi, quinoa, tamarai, okra, broccoli, butternut squash.
I can recommend putting almonds and figs in a food processor with an s blade and blitzing till they start making a dough, which you then press together with your hands and press into gorgeous little bars. DS, DP and I all like them

Iron - non animal iron is harder to absorb but absorption is improved in the presence of vitamin C. Breastmilk has very low amounts of iron, but it is probably really easy to absorb because it's hard to believe we are just poorly designed this way - i.e. designed to produce nutritionally deficient milk. Anyway. Shazzie again on her 'top raw foods containing an abundance of non-haeme [animal] iron. Most of these foods are also naturally high in vitamin C because nature loves us and wants us to get iron from plants [bless her]. Feel free to mix xthese foods with other foods rich in vitamin C to ensure maximum absorption
Wheatgrass juice
Spiruliina
Amaranth
Pistachios
Pumpkin seeds
Sesame seeds
Quinoa
Sundried tomatoes
Barley miso
goji berries
broad beans
sunflow seeds
parsley
apricots
figs.

I heart Shazzie - this stuff is in 'Evie's kitchen' a vegan raw recipe book detailing how she vegan raws her baby, Evie. The woman knows her nutirional stuff because as a vegan, you have to be armed to the teeth with info for those moments where you are interrogated as to where you get your protein, etc. And she makes her living as a raw vegan font of knowledge and seller of stuff. good luck!

[hardboiledpossum]

That's good news! I'm not sure about calcium but some Iron rich foods I feed my DS are; beef, lentils kidney beans and rosemary.

[ebmummy]

Thanks so much sparkly and possum. Thankfully he loves broccoli and almond paste (and figs!) so hopefully can enrich him with loads of the stuff.

[AnxiousElephant]

Spinach is also really iron rich. At 8 months he can start to finger feed which will mean he feeds whatever he needs himself, so no need to worry and its brilliant for hand eye co-ordination.
I would up the food in the day and reduce bm as per the normal weaning - which is the process by which they reduce milk to a drink rather than for all calories iyswim. He will still get plenty of calcium/ iron. They should continue on the centile they were born on, but they can become quite chubby just after weaning and before they start to walk. Usually once they learn to walk/ run, as long as they have the opportunity to, they weight steadies off again. Don't worry about his weight atm

[AnxiousElephant]

BM is very calorific so the extra weight is likely to be because of the milk - Can you give water with meals, bf morning, afternoon and evening?

[ebmummy]

He does have water after food. I think I will have to cut down the bfs as suggested. I will try and only do it 3 times today and see how it pans out... He hasn't been weighed for a few weeks (need to go at the ned of the month) so will see whether he's stayed on his centile or gone up.

[Mishy1234]

I really wouldn't limit bfs. Milk is still a very major part of his diet up to 12 months (and beyond). I would speak to your hv if you are concerned about his weight, but tbh if he's on the 91st centile for height, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at him being on the 75th for weight.

[coraltoes]

I would do larger meals, and he will slowly cut back on the milk himself without you cutting feeds. I have a 7 month who has milk at 7, 2.30pm and 7pm she has 3 meals a day, about 4 tablespoons of savoury, or 5, a yoghurt, some fruit, rice cake. She is 91st centile and has been since birth. He will thin down when he gets moving, don't make him diet so soon!

[oldmum42]

Goats milk is the easy solution to cows milk allergy!

My 12 month old DS4 is also allergic to cows milk, still getting BF at the moment but weaning him off it and onto Goats milk - very few are allergic to goat. Tesco (and I'm sure every other major retailer) stock UHT Whole Goat milk - it doesn't smell or taste "goatish". DS4 was offered it and took a little bit the first day, and a full cup at the end of the second day.
He's getting around 350ml per day, which is about the right amount for 1 year +

If your DS is on 91st centile for height, but only 75th for weight, you shouldn't limit food intake! Even if you meant the other way round, I wouldn't be concerned at this age - they need that extra padding it's there for a reason..... they can lose a lot of weight in a few days when they get a bug, and they bounce back faster IME if they had a bit of reserve fat to get them through.

[ebmummy]

Thanks ladies. He's in between 75th and 91st for both height and weight. I gave him the usual number of bfs today, but instead of spoonfeeding him breakfast and lunch, he fed himself (dinner was spoonfed). Worked out really well actually, and I think he enjoyed himself. I'm trying not to worry about his weight now-just tell myself that cos all the food he has is healthy, it shouldn't mean he'll be fat later on. The only thing he has which isn't homemade are the organix carrot puff things, which in the grand scheme of things aren't too bad I guess..

[AnxiousElephant]

Ebmummy what on earth are you worried about if he is between 75th and 91st for height and weight? He is perfectly in proportion so now I know that just carry on as you were with bf. Weight is not an issue per se and clearly he is just a big boy . If there gets to be more than 2 centiles difference between height and weight thats different i.e. 91st for weight and 50th for height iyswim.
Glad he enjoyed finger feeding - don't worry about mess, just get a piece of plastic to cover the floor under the highchair. He can eat everything off a disinfected tray even mash, spag bol, stew etc. They really start to enjoy mealtimes then