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Feeling worn down by 11 month old

(16 Posts)
emmyloo2 Thu 13-Oct-11 04:34:21

Hi there, I have an 11 month old DS. After a rocky first few months, I really felt like I was starting to make progress and things were getting easier. However in the last 6-8 weeks things have gotten harder again. He is still not crawling and so is often frustrated and grumpy. His sleep has gone to total shit - it's now hard to actually put him down at night (we have to resort to taking him for a walk in the pram to put him to sleep and then transferring him to his cot), he wakes during the night and will only go back to sleep with a bottle. His day time sleep seems to still be ok. I work full-time and have done since he was 3.5 months old, as does my DH, and I am at the point of exhaustion. I almost feel like I can't cope with any more. My work is very stressful and demanding which doesn't help. I just feel like it has all gone downhill and I am not getting much enjoyment out of motherhood at the moment.

Did anyone else find this 9-12 month period hard? Will it get easier? I always wanted more than one DC but to be honest, I don't know if I could ever go through this again.


DrinkFeckArseGirls Thu 13-Oct-11 05:15:57

Yes, it's bloody exhausting. DD is 10,5 months and we hit s rocky patch around 9 months. It just hot better recently but still very exhausting - she makes constant mess pulling books, clothes, papers out. It's cute and sm glad she can fo they but I'm shattered trying not to drown under the mess. Back to sleep now. You too! angry

prioneyes Thu 13-Oct-11 06:10:19

9-12 months = hell. Fact. Hang on in there and try to get a few hours to yourself once a week, even if that means taking turns with your DH to get out. It gets better.

emmyloo2 Thu 13-Oct-11 07:14:33

God thanks so much! I honestly thought I was doing something wrong and it was all me. I am just so exhausted by it all. And prioneyes - it is a good suggestion trying to get some time to myself but I feel bad taking time alone on the weekend because I feel like I should be spending it with my DS since I work during the week fulltime. So basically my days are working then coming home and then looking after DS and doing bathtime and bedtime and then on the weekends its looking after him full-time so I never get a break. My DH is excellent and completely shares 50% of the load but he gets tired as well.

Well fingers crossed it well get better by Christmas - he will be 13 months on Christmas Day.

sprinkles77 Thu 13-Oct-11 07:26:32

It is hard at this stage. We ended up moving furniture to reduce the havoc. Spend a weekend baby proofing to reduce the stress (door catches etc). You will also feel much better though if your DS was better at going to sleep and staying asleep. if you can bear it, controlled crying works for lots of babies (it restored sanity in our home). If not there are other less draconian sleep training methods. Being able to chill out in the evening or even go out and use a baby sitter, then having an uninterrupted nights sleep will make you feel so much more human, and make you better at work and a happier mother.

Firsttimer7259 Thu 13-Oct-11 10:10:56

Hi, I think many of these replies assume a mobile child. But from your post you sound more like the position I was in at 9-13 months. Non-mobile child, bad sleeper. So you have a cranky child whom you have to entertain cos they cant get about. For me the main thing that needed changing was her sleep. How you do that can be quite personal but I was desperate and so it involved some crying (tho mainly the angry sort).
This is what worked for us:
I taught her how to get to sleep on her own. So first that meant night weaning. I made sure she ate enough in the day and then never fed her (no milk) at night after whatever her record time was. I gave her water but nothing else. That went v quickly 3 nights or so
Then no more rocking bouncing patting (or pram rides) to sleep. I got a bed time routine going and slowly she learnt how to go to sleep on her own. I would let her cry by the clock (2 mins, 5 mins, etc) There are other ways of doing this (eg no cry sleep solution) but we were well past this point.
If your child cant do this then they will always call you to help resettle them in the night.
FWIW I do think a good nights sleep is much harder to acheive with a child that cant move about yet as they aren't physically as tired. I sometimes felt my girl needed to cry just to gte physically tired out.
Also promote crawling with lots of tummy time and hopefully it will get better soon.
I used a v short book called the Good Sleep Guide and that really helped give me confidence that I was doing the right thing

Momo36 Thu 13-Oct-11 13:52:15

Sorry no advice just hang in there. I have 11 month old DD - she's wonderful but bloody hard work! She's all over the place ALL THE TIME! smile

madmomma Fri 14-Oct-11 22:56:44

IME he will be a nightmare until he's cruising or crawling. Then he'll be able to get to his things and explore etc, and he'll be loads happier. Hang in there. He's probably just frustrated. I've just come through this with my 2nd child, and I can't believe the change in him now he's finally mobile.

NameGotLostInCyberspace Sun 16-Oct-11 11:18:04

DS is also 11 months, 1 in a couple of weeks. Driving me nuts. He has been crawling since 7 months, cruising for a while. my problem is he is already fighting me like a toddler! Getting dressed, nappy changes and getting him the buggy are all a nightmare. He twists his body tries to get away and throws himself back, I worry he is going to get hurt. Is it usual for a BABY to be this uncooperative?
Sorry no help and my own questions too! smile

Beetlegeuse Sun 16-Oct-11 11:27:50

Well my dd is 13 months and from what i can tell its all normal and i hate to say it but it doesnt get easier it just gets different.

LaVitaBellissima Sun 16-Oct-11 11:33:21

I have 11 month old twins and am also bloody exhausted! smile

Anyone else looking forward to primary school grin

LaVitaBellissima Sun 16-Oct-11 11:34:34

namegotlost perfectly normal I think!

CamperFan Tue 18-Oct-11 09:18:55

My DS2 is a nightmare at the moment - he is just SO grumpy and has been for a couple of months. We are finding it really draining. His sleeping is not so bad, except he wakes up at 5.30 every morning (5.20 today) and will NOT go back to sleep, so he's knackered by about 10am, which doesn't help. He's cruising too and is desperately attracted to steps, of which we have a lot. I can't take him to any groups as he'll just whinge, I can't go to the loo without tears, and the school run is a nightmare as he hates sitting standing still, so it doesn't matter whether I use pram or sling. He's 1 a week today! I don't remember DS1 being as grumpy as this, really the constant whiney noise is driving me insane! Oh, and we have some jabs today - oh joy!

OP, that sounds like a nightmare sleep-wise. We did CC, which did work in the main part for us, at 10 months as I wanted to stop bfing in the night.

mosser Tue 18-Oct-11 12:36:53

Hello I have a 12 month old who up to now has been a dream. Slept, napped, and ate well. Suddenly she turns one and has become a fussy eater (surely they cant survive on just cheese and breadsticks!) and hates having her nappy changed (weve had a few accidents on the carpet after she has wriggled out of my grasp!). Also I just wanted to ask for advice as she has gone from two naps a day to one nap. Is this normal at 12 months old? Should I try to establish a routine or just go with the flow?

LetTheSlaughterBeGincognito Wed 19-Oct-11 00:03:34

My ds is one in a couple of weeks and isn't crawling yet, although he rolls like a superstar. I can't wait for him to get moving and burn off some energy - he's massive!

Missed, from what I understand, whilst some babies drop to one nap a day early, 12 months is unusual. 15 months ish is average I think. I am limiting ds' morning naps to 45 mins to make sure that he wants a pm one too and I can still get him down at night.

Janeystow Fri 21-Oct-11 15:32:46

Hi, you sound like me with my DD at 10 months. She got into a really awful sleep pattern waking for hours at night, so didn't have the energy to deal with the day ahead. Once her sleep was sorted it all got much easier...

If you want some help with sleep then I'd recommend a fantastic website 'babysleepanswers'. You pay £10 for a copy of the book Firsttimer mentioned and access to the baby sleep forum where mentors will support you through whatever sleep training technique you want to use. They were brilliant, talked me through what we were going to try (we did CC as we needed results quickly), and each morning I could post questions and a sleep mentor would get back to me with practical and caring advice within a couple of hours.

I first heard a about the website from mumsnet- just want to pass the good advice on...

Good luck

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