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Have we made a big mistake?

(3 Posts)
mustdache Wed 12-Oct-11 16:27:41

DD is 4.4yrs and just started reception (state school).

We (DH and I) dabbled with the idea of a delayed start to school as she really doesn't cope very well with some situations (crowds/eating with a group/loud noise). We briefly discussed it with her to-be-class teacher on the times we met before term started (normal open days etc) and he seemed open to the idea of delayed start - said p/t would not be an issue if we didn't feel it was right for her.

However, she started p/t (as all the new starts do) and has now been F/T for almost 3 weeks and I think we've made a huge mistake going F/T so soon.

Her behaviour has deteriorated, for example, she wets her pants constantly (but not at issues with health btw) and does not ask anyone for help to change, even though she has at least 1 whole fresh uniform with her and several changes of underclothes.

Has anyone got any experience of pulling back to p/t AFTER starting f/t school? Of course I'm going to talk to school formerly about this, but wanted to know if anyone had any experience - positive or negative.


(also posted in Primary Education smile )

joruth Wed 12-Oct-11 19:05:38

I have lots of children and 2 of mine quite clearly went FT too early. One we managed to pull back to PT by collecting him from the playground after lunch... he didn't seem to feel singled out, the other was very resistant to being taken out and so we negotiated with her that her behaviour had to be ok (and defined what we meant) for her to stay all day the following day...and if it wasn't then we would collect her at lunchtime...worked well for her as she wanted to stay.

With the wetting it can bea sign of emotional trauma...but also my 4th wet just because she coudln't be bothered to go, she was so distracted by the very stimulating environment, and feeling wet didn't bother her...we suggested that she did timed toiletting and went straight after outdoor play (before she got engrossed in something else)as she hung her coat up which gave her 3 trips per day and sorted her out ok...the playtime supervisors reminded her for a little while but then she just did it herself...and then it stopped being an issue (mostly...).

best of luck with your discussion. You know your child so I'm sure you'll work out a good solution for her.

mustdache Wed 12-Oct-11 19:23:59

Thanks for your reply joruth, it's 'comforting' of sorts confused to know that other parents have been through similar, although I feel so wretched right now I hope others don't feel the same.

I think DD is holding off going to the toilet because she's a) stubborn and b) this is her only 'control'.

Her pre-school teacher agreed that DD might struggle with some aspects of school, and I think she was right.

Thanks for the support smile

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