How can I stop 3yr old DS running away?(4 Posts)
My DS is 3.2 and is tall for his age and very articulate, so perhaps I'm expecting too much of him because he looks older than he is. But lately, he's been a nightmare whenever we've been out.
DS2 is five weeks, so maybe it's connected with the birth of his brother.
The problem is, wherever we go, if he's not strapped down, he runs away. He seems to have no sense of danger, so he's not concerned about roads or not being able to see me at all.
So whenever we go out, it's pushchair, reins and highchairs, which seem ridiculous on him. Staff in restaurants can't believe we want highchairs for him.
I've tried telling him off, making him promise, being disappointed, telling him what might happen. I've even hidden myself where he can't see me in the hope he'll get scared, but nothing has worked.
Any tips to help me sort this? It's getting to the stage where I can't take him anywhere on my own without strapping him down in his pushchair, which he hates.
You're just going to have to keep on the wrist-straps/reins/some form of attachment. He just doesn't have the maturity yet or the imagination to work out that if I run off then X might happen and that would mean Y. He'll get there, don't worry - a nightmare for you in the meantime, though. Give it a few more months - 3.2 is still little.
Part of it probably is to do with the new baby, but that will settle down. Try and make sure you get even a little bit of quality time on your own with him.
My DS is 3.3 and does similar things (no sibling). I don't use a pushchair unless we go for a really long walk. I find that saying if you don't do such and such then we can go home and actually mean it, it helps. It doesn't always work though.
I think if your DS doesn't like the pushchair, then forcing him in it makes matters worse. I could be wrong though.
I've also found that when we are walking, he'll hold my hand more willingly if I distract him. I ask loads of questions about cars, trees, school or whatever we see.I also talk about counting things, finding conkers, asking about street signs etc.
As for the highchair, can you take some new books/crayons or a talking phone or something to distract him? Or maybe a toy he hasn't played with for a long time?
Maybe make far less of a fuss of it (to his face!) and the "fun" part of it will wear off. He gets full on attention and concern from you when he does these things that have been described to him many times as naughty. Make a lovely fuss of him when he's walking with you, like the poster above said, and just almost ignore the bad stuff. When he runs off, get him back without any mention of it, just hold his hand and pull back, no arguements. Poor boy, he can't help the need to get reasssuring extra attention from you now that this little baby has arrived on 'his' scene! It's just a very worrying way, for you, of going about it. Good luck.
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