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Son (6 year old) has developed Separation Anxiety!

(5 Posts)
missblonde Mon 10-Oct-11 12:03:49

Hi All

Would appreciate some advice. My 6 year son went through the whole of reception last year with minimal tears. After the first term, he would run up onto the playground and wouldn't look back. When we returned in year 1, he started out fine, but then one Wednesday (my younger son does not go to nursery on a Wednesday), he stuck by my side and wouldn't go up onto the playground and then started crying hysterically, to the point where I had to carry him up to the line and the teachers had to drag him into class. This happened 3 Wednesdays on the trot and now it's happening daily!!! The hysterical crying has stopped, but he refuses to go up onto the playground even though his friends are waiting for him. I have to walk him up to the line and he is on the verge of tears and will not stay in the line... he keeps trying to run after me (he teacher has to physically hold his hand to keep him from escaping).

he is fine with getting up and getting dressed, we have no tears in the morning and none on the way to school, and apparently he is fine in the classroom and after school as well... but we have this morning separation anxiety issue and its driving me mad!

We have tried rewards charts, bribes, we have tried to ignore it, we have got angry etc... nothing is working.

Any advice???

Thanks.

Jojo0070 Mon 10-Oct-11 18:19:43

My child went thru the same when she changed school - it's so upsetting to see.
My child's quite shy, so I think she was like that because she'd not made any friends yet - she'd be shaking in her boots and I would have to peel her of me and hand her to the teacher.
I spoke to the teacher about it, and they gave her a job to do in class, she seemed poud of that, and that helped a little.
Also, once she started to make friends, it got so much easier - why dont you invite a couple of his class friends over for a tea and a play - friends that he chooses rather than who you may choose.
Good luck

missblonde Tue 11-Oct-11 09:16:12

Thanks Jojo0070 for the advice. The problem I have is that he has lots of friends and he is 100% fine once he gets into class. he is fine in the mornings as well and gets up and dressed without any drama's.... things are great untill we get onto the playground. He physically will not walk up to the playground and is stuck to my side and even if all of his class walks in.. the fear of being late doesn't bother him.... today I tried to hang back and show him that he was going to be late if he didn't go up by himself... but it made things worse and he started crying and I got upset as well.... I am at a loss !! I can't explain his behaviour. Its driving me mad. confused

howdoo Tue 11-Oct-11 11:49:39

Well, it sounds like it started because he realised that on Wednesdays your younger DS was at home with you and, because he's only 6, he wanted to be home too! Then it clearly developed into a slightly bigger thing. If I were you, I would have a chat with him to find out EXACTLY what it is that he doesn't like about leaving you. He may worry that you won't come and pick him up, he may be jealous of his brother, he may just want to be with you. If he can articulate his fears, just that may help him to get over them. Validate whatever he says - ie don't say "Of course I will pick you up!", but more "I can see that this worries you, what could make you feel better about it?" (Can you see I've been reading "How to Talk"!!). When you actually get to school, it sounds like you are doing the right thing - walk up to the line (with or without him if he holds back) quick kiss, walk away promptly.
He's not doing it to be annoying, there is a logic to it for him, it just isn't obvious to adults!

shouldhavebeenblonde Sun 19-May-13 17:11:47

Hello. Please tell me how you resolved this situation!
I am having a similar issue with my 6yr old and I can't find any more recent posts. Please tell me you sorted it!!!!

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