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Is 5 often a difficult age with little girls?

(10 Posts)
AAAvegetable Mon 10-Oct-11 09:07:48

My DD1 has always been pretty easy. Not angelic but basically happy, kind, humorous, thoughtful and reasonably obedient.

Then she turned 5 in August and started year one in September.

At school she is apparently very good and doing well. At home she is over excitable, she won't follow simple instructions (this morning's request to get dressed was greeted by throwing her clothes in the air while laughing manically), she plays at being immature, she is wilfully naughty. She shouts loudly through breakfast, refuses to stop when asked, runs round the house making more mess than she did aged two, talks in a baby voice even when asked not to, cries the second she is told off (or worse, laughs), she emulates her two year old sister rather than vice versa. It is driving me insane and all our time together is filled with me nagging or shouting.

Is 5 often a difficult age or is it just my DD? TBH this is harder than any previous phase.

Giddly Mon 10-Oct-11 12:28:31

Rading this I wondered if I had written it and forgotten, except there's no mention of the tantrums we have on a fairly regular basis and DD is nearly 6. I think she finds year 1 very stressful which is part of it. I think she's also jealous of DD2. I'm going to try spending time alone with her and give her 1-1 attention every day to see if that helps at all, but I too am frustrated that much of our interaction is negative. It helps a bit if I make things into games / races etc. to get her to do things, but to be honest I don't always have the imagination at 7.30 in the morning when I want her to get dressed. Would also love to hear any advice or ideas....

mamsnet Mon 10-Oct-11 14:51:23

My first thought when I say your title was " Aren't all ages difficult with little girls?!" Not much help, am I?

But really, my 5 year old DD does a lot of what you are describing.. I think it's quite an effort for them to keep up the big well behaved facade at school and sometimes they just have to let loose at home..
She sounds like she is testing the boundaries big style.. and probably a bit jealous that her younger sister is still at home.
Patience, early nights.. what more can I say..

Francagoestohollywood Mon 10-Oct-11 15:05:09

Well, I don't know about 5.

My dd was uber lovely at 5, but she was still at nursery school (we are not in the UK)

Last year was her first year at primary school (she was 6/7) and despite having no problem at all at school, she did struggled.

Mine is not a tantrummy child, but she was prone to bad moods and general sulking.

I think the first year at school in often never easy for most of the children.

AAAvegetable Mon 10-Oct-11 22:38:18

Please tell me ALL ages aren't difficult with little girls! I want my sweet little person back soon. I miss her.

Maybe it is just the stress of school although she seems perfectly happy there.

Francagoestohollywood Tue 11-Oct-11 12:22:17

AAA, my dd is 7 and she's always been rather lovely... grin

It might very well be that she is a bit stressed by school and its routine, even if she is fine when there. It was the same with my dd, only she just was in a bad mood at home and rather teary.

aularaef Mon 17-Oct-11 14:18:23

My dd is also august baby, shes in yr2 now, she went through the whole crying thing for silly reasons last year, just a phase, plus all the other things you've mentioned although my one is more hardwork at school, always has a way of letting everyone know when shes around, sometimes shes an amazing little girl, next she makes you want to pull your hair out shes so frustrating and dare I say annoying...But i would not change her for the world.
In her class she has lots of autumn term b'day children, and they always deem the summer children as young and immature, maybe because of reception staggered intake, This year so far is soo much better, shes becoming much easier, I think because they've started mixed tables based on ability, so is being challenged more, and feels more valued.
She also copies her 2 yrold brother, still! but i think thats just play acting, and things she sees as funny, I always tell her when something isn't so funny from a 6 yr.
Also at break times a favourite game was babies...probably when class friends have new babies, just acting out own feelings I guess.
And ofcourse she's attention seeking, she wants a reaction from you , she doesn't care that you're nagging your focus is on her and not on her sister, whenever i pick my ds up and throw him about she always wants me to do it to her, shes too big now I do try, but she always looks hurt, so i explain I did it to her at 2 and tell a funny story about what she used to do!!
And last of all you might already do this , but if i've been nagging, I always go and give a hug and chat to her about why i'm moaning and ask her if she understands, when shes being held she always talks quite honestly how she feels and her mood and behaviour always lightens after....

bababo Wed 19-Oct-11 21:25:43

My DS is 5 and has just started her second year in infants. Ever since she started at school she has apparently been an angel in class, however, often she will come out at home time in a foul mood. She is one of the youngest in her year and shy, I have come to the conclusion that all the stresses and frustrations of the day explode at mummy at the school gate. Its frustrating when so many kids come out beaming and happy!

Pandemoniaa Thu 20-Oct-11 12:25:49

DS1, a June baby, was a well-behaved little boy. He went to school at four and a quarter and was, "a joy to have in the class" according to his Reception teacher. When he got home he was a Royal pain in the backside, though. Cross, tantrummy, demanding and beastly to ds2 (aged 3). He was also extraordinarily tired and honestly seemed not to know how to deal with this.

I found that some seriously quiet time immediately after getting home from school was essential. I gave him a drink, a snack and would encourage him to sit on the sofa and watch a film or some (calming!) TV. Invariably, within 15 minutes he was fast asleep and would nap for about an hour. Afterwards he was much more his usual self.

He loved being at "Big School" but I still think a little bit of him envied the freedom and lack of regimes that his little brother enjoyed at playgroup. So don't underestimate the stress that the school environment can put on children when they very first start at school. I'm sure your DD will settle down once she's adjusted to school and takes it all for granted.

shoots Thu 20-Oct-11 14:34:19

My little girl is 4.5 and was an absolute angel until quite recently - helpful, good company, loving etc! I have an older DS and I think starting school and his influence (bless him!) have meant she's developed a bit of an 'attitude'!!

I'm sure your DD is just reacting to having to be disciplined and well behaved at school and maybe a bit jealous of her little sister still doing the baby thing - my DD said yesterday she wanted to go back to playgroup again!

My DD also does that manic laughing thing - v annoying! She is so much more willful than she was even a few months ago.

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