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How do I manage this? Toddler hurting baby as I drive.

(40 Posts)
BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 20:55:17

DS1 is 2.5, and has a slight language delay, and some trouble communicating. My twins are 9 months, and when I'm driving, especially if I'm talking to DH/any other passenger, DS1 pinches/hits/pokes whichever baby is next to him. They are all is rearfacing seats. I've tried tightening his straps so he can't lean right round but he has long arms and can still pinch their feet.
I've tried bribery, explaining, threats, shouting, rewarding good behaviour, all to largely no avail. What do I do if he's attacking the babies whilst I'm driving???

TheRealMBJ Tue 04-Oct-11 20:59:43

What about a forward facing seat for him?

RuthChan Tue 04-Oct-11 20:59:54

Rearfacing seats are safer, but 2.5 is quite late to turn your DS around.
Do you think he might find the driving more interesting if he was turned forwards?
That might be enough to distract him and stop him attacking his siblings.

cottonreels Tue 04-Oct-11 21:03:39

Well, if you disable the airbag, he can go in the front. But presumably you still want the safest way of them travelling...

Loopymumsy Tue 04-Oct-11 21:07:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:07:51

His car seat will keep him RF till he's about 4! If he was Ff ( as he is in Hs car) he's even worse as he has full face-access to whatever baby he's next to - the babies are still in Rearfacing size 0 carriers.

If I put him in the front I can't fit my H in.

TheRealMBJ Tue 04-Oct-11 21:09:52

Would your DH not be able to squeeze in the back with the twins?

littleducks Tue 04-Oct-11 21:10:14

I am not sure switching to forward facing would help, he may ne able to reach better then depending on seat design.

I would put one of the children in the front, and then they should not be able to reach each other.

Technically the rear passenger seats may be saafer but you have to weigh that up against the risk of distraction to you when he is doing this.

littleducks Tue 04-Oct-11 21:12:25

If you can fit two baby carriers and a rear facing seat in the back are you sure you couldnt fit your dh in the back? Maybe two car seats in a row and dh on one side would work better than him in the middle

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:12:56

No my H is a BIG bloke - think rugby-forward/second row shaped. He complains about being squashed in the front, he'd tolerate about 5ins of being pushed up against a car seat and the door, in the back.

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:14:43

I've even thought about belting in one of the twin's maxicosi seats into the third row of seats, but then I can't get the pram in.

QueenOfFeckingEverything Tue 04-Oct-11 21:15:41

Could you try audiobooks while driving? Maybe distrcting him would work, and then explaining that he can only hear the story if he keeps his hand/feet to himself...?

EldonAve Tue 04-Oct-11 21:16:07

it's attention seeking
why can't your passenger intervene?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 04-Oct-11 21:17:48

If your Dh's with you do you have to drive?

If he drove could you get in the back with one of your dc in the front?

DeepLeafEverything Tue 04-Oct-11 21:19:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spottypancake Tue 04-Oct-11 21:21:21

I have to say that I would consider smacking for this.

I don't smack my children, but have done probably once or twice each for extremely bad or very dangerous behaviour. Safety in the car is something you can't compromise on.

Your other option is to get a people carrier and have the kids on separate rows. Rather expensive though!

bonkers20 Tue 04-Oct-11 21:24:26

deep Do you really think a 2.5 YO could work an ipod? Would they even keep the ear buds in their ears?!

How often are you all in the car together? Is there any way you can put a pram on the floor behind the front seats, freeing up the back row? I'm thinking you've probably got a large double affair so probably not.

I feel for you.

DeepLeafEverything Tue 04-Oct-11 21:32:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleducks Tue 04-Oct-11 21:33:13

MY ds could operate dh's iphone at 2.5....I was shock watching him do it but the touch screen meant he could quite happily!

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:35:00

I'm thinking of investing in a DVD player strapped to the seat in front of him. He's too little for an iPod/nintendo - I've tried in desperation in giving him my iPhone and he invariably drops it or messes with it. Am about to look into audiobooks.
The passenger is usually my husband or mum and they absolutely intervene as much as they can.
I drive my car, DH drives his, dunno, we've always done it that way. And it's a 7 seater but I use the last row as a bigger boot to accommodate our enormous pram.
And I've pulled up and smacked his hand, twice. Both times I could see him stick his thumb in the baby's eye. Both times he gave me the other hand and said "Another smack?" He wasn't bothered. He had my attention.

Am just about to investigate how tricky it is to put his seat in the front for when there's just me and the kids. When we got the seat, it seemed like a royal faff to fit it. If it's simple and easy to move then that might be a possibility for at least some of the time. It's annoying though because I changed my car to this enormous mumbulance just cos it took 3 car seats across the back. I never took into account unprovoked attacks from a toddler!

QueenOfFeckingEverything Tue 04-Oct-11 21:38:42

The Guardian is giving free audio CDs of children's books every day this week smile

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:39:25

Bonkers, we're all in together daily. Our pram is a huge triple, or a less huge double but they're all boot jobs.

Not sure how I feel about letting DS have headphone wires where I can't reach him but he can reach the babies.

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 21:40:35

Cheers for Guardian tip! Smashing!

zdcgbjm Tue 04-Oct-11 21:44:08

My ds has been happily using the iPod Touch since before he was 2. We had some Thomas episodes on there and he could find and choose and stop and start them quite happily. By 2.5 he was playing simple games on there as well. Not sure I would buy one for a child that age, ours belong to dh and I but since we now have smartphones the kids are the only ones who use them these days. They're invaluable for long journeys, waiting rooms and hanging around for siblings at activities. I think something engrossing for him to play with like that would help. Or a dvd player maybe.

I agree forward facing would give more access not less.

Is it out of the question you could find a way to fit the pram in with one in the back? Or just awkward?

littleducks Tue 04-Oct-11 21:44:33

Maybe go and have a fiddle with carseats and the pram, if its a seven seater there may be another way, maybe babies in boot and dh/ds in middle with pram?

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