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Playdates when they start reception

(7 Posts)
tibster Tue 04-Oct-11 17:57:39

We've just moved to a new area about three weeks ago and my son has started reception at the local primary school. We didn't know anybody here so I have been trying really hard to meet the local mums and make some friends for us all! Everyone seems friendly so it seems to be going ok. Last week a couple of people asked if we'd like to do a playdate after school one day, I was really pleased as felt like we were getting somewhere with making new friends, so today was the first playdate. It turns out that playdates after school means my son goes along to their house and I then come back at 5 and pick him up. Is this the norm for school playdates? Playdates for me up until now have meant you and the children go to someones house, or if you invite kids friends to yours it means your inviting the mum too! Is this just a growing up thing and now they are at school this is what happens or have I moved to an odd area!!! I was a bit disappointed as firstly it means I don't get to see my son all day and secondly I was really hoping it would be a good way for me to get more friendly with the other mums.

SomekindofSpanish Tue 04-Oct-11 18:01:08

Some parents do stay, others dont.

I never have stayed, have never had a parent ask to stay and my last DC has just started Reception. I still know a lot of parents, though smile.

Maybe ask if it is ok if you come for the first 20 minutes or so?

SomekindofSpanish Tue 04-Oct-11 18:02:42

BTW, I also did not know any other children or parents beforehand as my DSs did not go to the school nursery.

Just do what you feel comfortable doing. I am sure most parents won't mind you staying for a little while.

40notTrendy Tue 04-Oct-11 18:04:46

My ds won't let me go! Could use that as an excuse if you wanted to stay for a bit?

sittinginthesun Tue 04-Oct-11 18:08:46

They often start with mums, and then move to going independently later. My DS1 didn't want to go on his own for the first two years, so I stayed. It would've been too much for him to go on his own straight from school.

Why don't you ask a friendly mum round for a cuppa and say that the children can play too?

twotesttickles Tue 04-Oct-11 18:11:47

The line is: 'It would be lovely if little Timmy came over after school on Tuesday and of course you'd be very welcome. I'm planning on making some cakes so you can help me test them out' grin

Seriously, mine have only ever done escorted playdates - DD has just started reception but we don't plan to do playdates till after half term as school is quite tiring for them at the minute.

Tgger Tue 04-Oct-11 19:08:59

I think it goes both ways in Reception and Year 1. Some Mums and children seem to separate earlier than others smile. I can certainly see how you would want to meet the Mums and see your son!

I think you have to sniff out the Mums who are happier with this sort of arrangement- ie both of you. Maybe choose a Mum you are more likely to become friends with and your son also likes their son/daughter- being new to the area is very understandable reason to want to meet people etc. If you give the invite casually then people won't be worried you are looking for a new best friend etc. I would come play ;-))).

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