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Help with tantrums on the school run!

(9 Posts)
Sweetsandchocolate Tue 04-Oct-11 10:11:40

Oh I've had the most terrible morning on the school run and would like some advice please on how to deal with the situation in the future

On the school run with my DS age 6, my DD, age 3, got herself into a tizz about not wanting to wear her coat and that her shoes were annoying her and it escalated into screaming at the top of her lungs (when I turned my back and "ignored" her and kept on walking), hitting me, sitting on the floor and refusing to move, running across the very busy main road - at which point I picked her up under my arm and carried her to the car with her arching her back and screaming, and by the time I got her to preschool, I was in tears. It doesn't help that she fell over last week and has a massive bruise across her cheek, so with everyone staring at us, I felt that everyone was thinking what an awful mother I am.

Any suggestions?

Seeline Tue 04-Oct-11 10:18:44

The old tale of 'picking your battles' springs to mind - which elements really mattered? Did she really need her coat on if you were in the car? etc
Obviously dangerous behaviour such as running into the road needs to be dealt with - how about 'if you are not going to behave like a big girl, Mummy will have to treat you like a baby' and put her in a buggy or use reins for a coupe of days.
I wouldn't worry about screaming/having to carry her under your arm - now matter how people look at you, they've all been there at some point grin

Sweetsandchocolate Tue 04-Oct-11 10:33:22

She loves her buggy too much though Seeline, it wouldn't be a punishment but a reward for her. I park the car a 2 minute walk from her brother's school so she can walk, but maybe I should park further away and use the buggy. Trouble with that is, we then have to walk over the railway line and there is so much dog poo we can't get past without DS treading in it! When she's mid tantrum, would you put her in time out somewhere (safe)?

Seeline Tue 04-Oct-11 10:38:02

I wasn't a great user of time out with mine - although if it's something you do use and she responds to it why not (although you would need to make sure you had enough time spare for that to work properly!)
Is this a regular occurance then?
How about a distraction technique? Don't know what would fit in with your routine/walk etc but how about taking a scooter/bike etc. Or a doll in pushchair might help her walk a bit more sensibly? Or just chatting whilst walking - can you see a green front door? Where is a pink flower? What number is on that gate post? Counting lamposts/trees etc

DeWe Tue 04-Oct-11 10:53:00

Really I'd go to using the buggy. It may be a reward for her, but I'd think your ds probably find it better to go into school after having a calm chat with you while pushing her.

BleughCowWonders Tue 04-Oct-11 10:57:27

When she's mid tantrum, would you put her in time out somewhere (safe)?

No, I'd just pick her up and wait for it to subside.

School runs seem to be much more stressful in the car than walking. If at all poss, leave the car at home and allow lots of extra time.

Bramshott Tue 04-Oct-11 11:01:43

DD2 (4.5) unleashed a MASSIVE tantrum on the school run last night (and she's AT school!) which left me thinking thank god she is still in a proper harness car seat as I just left her to scream (about 30 minutes all told). Don't let anyone else get to you - small children tantrum, and that's just the way it is. When they get bigger they sulk and strop instead wink. I know that DD2 was going for it because she's tired, so I just left her strapped in in the car and said to everyone "the screaming car belongs to me!"

Sweetsandchocolate Tue 04-Oct-11 11:17:43

She loves her doll/pushchair, perhaps I'll try that one and maybe walk more with her in the buggy. I might also lose some flab as well that way grin. She's always been the same since very little, she can be such a good girl most of the time, but when she erupts, it's a volcano. I can't wait for puberty...

CoonRapids Tue 04-Oct-11 21:00:46

If it's any consolation I arrive at school with a screaming toddler DC3 (2.2) 'imprisoned' in his buggy. He arches his back and tries to turn round and thump me (nice). This is because he wants to walk like his sibblings but can't because we have to drop DC1 first at Juniors, then hot foot it to drop DC2 at the Infants. There's neither time for him to walk, nor is it safe as it's too busy. Combination of circumstances, personality and developmental stage I tell myself calmly, but that's not how it feels at the time. Funnily enough on the days when GPs do the school run he's no problem. Hmm.

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