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How old were your DC when they started really playing with other children?

(9 Posts)
TheHandThatRocksTheCradle Mon 03-Oct-11 21:50:43

Just wondering really, DS is 3 1/2 and it's becoming more noticeable, when we meet up with other people, that their children are playing and interacting with each other and DS still doesn't seem interested. He's very sociable with adults but doesn't seem to get children his own age at all.

I'm not sure if I could or should be doing more to encourage him or whether he'll just manage it in his own time.

droves Tue 04-Oct-11 00:02:32

at 3 1/2 he should start to play with other kids and seek their attention .

Id have a word with your hv .

little intrest in socialising with other children , but ok with adults can be a sign of an autistic spectrum disorder .

hester Tue 04-Oct-11 00:14:57

She was 4 1/2. I really worried that she might be autistic, tbh- she was different in many ways.

Then it was like a switch went on, and she was away. I think her social skills are still a little, er, unique, but she doesn't seem to have any problem making friends at school. I can't believe how much she's changed, and how quickly.

KatharineClifton Tue 04-Oct-11 00:58:17

Is his hearing ok? It's easier to make out adult speech.

DeWe Tue 04-Oct-11 09:19:51

Dd1 would have been about 3 1/2-3 3/4 when she started looking very shyly at making friends, but was generally too shy to do anything about it. She had a couple of friends who were a year older than her that she loved playing with, but they were dd's of my friends and they played by babying and looking after her which she was happy to go along with. When she was nearly 4yo she made her first independent friend, 7 years later they're still best friends.
Dd2 was making friends at 18 months, she likes to have a large friendship group round her. She's only got to see someone once and she thinks of them as being a good friend.
Ds made friends at about 3 1/2, he has hearing issues and the preschool commented he didn't talk much to the other children, but as long as (from his point of view) they could be silly together they were friends.

Tgger Tue 04-Oct-11 19:16:15

Well, it's a funny business. DS was sociable from very early on, but mostly that was with children of my friends who he saw very regularly, and although they appeared to play together at 2 or 3 I think a lot of it was playing alongside. So...when we moved house shortly after he was three it was a bit of a shock when the new pre-school noticed that he wasn't really playing with any of the children. I wasn't really worried or surprised. He is shy like both his parents and was just more interested in his own world at that age. When they flagged it up it did make me wonder, but at half term we went to an old friend's house and I noticed he was playing very well indeed with her older boy. Also he didn't have any of the typical autistic spectrum tendencies.

Once he got to school nursery aged almost 4 he again didn't know the children, but was like a different child. Within that first term he had made several of his own friends- first time OWN friends, not children of my friends.

So.. that's my experience. I would watch your son with interest during the next year he may well change a lot in regard to socialising with the others! If you have concerns speak to the HV.

TheHandThatRocksTheCradle Tue 04-Oct-11 21:04:37

DS doesn't have any signs of hearing problems or autism so far as I can tell, he's very verbal, has an active imagination (imaginary job complete with work colleagues) and makes jokes (not very good ones but he tries).

He has only recently started at preschool, most of my friends' children have gone to nursery or started preschool when they were 2. We do go to playgroups so he has always had plenty of opportunity to socialise, but only with me there as well, which probably makes a difference.

I'm hoping he's just a bit of a slow starter and will get there eventually. smile

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 04-Oct-11 21:30:39

Ds has just turned 3 and in the past month or so he has started to play with other children, rather than playing along side them.

Since his birth we have been to groups where the same adults and children attend week in and week out and he has never shown much interest with the children there, even though he was familiar with them - unless it was a running around madly in a heard type game. However now at pre school he has made a friend totally off of his own back.

He also enjoyed the company of older children and adults - especially boys. I think he found girls a bit too verbal and in your face.

Your ds will get there eventually, and maybe him going to pre school will encourage the process. They can spread their wings a bit more as they don't have such close supervision, there is a mix of ages, and they learn how to interact and socialise from the older children. Like most things in life, some skills come naturally to some and others have to work at it.

droves Tue 04-Oct-11 23:49:58

Thehand ... mabey hes just shy ? . or he could be super clever and other children bore him so he likes to talk/play with adults ???

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