4 mo old poor naping habits- random thoughts need advice

[julantal]

my 4 mo old is a terrible napper- he gets up at 730am and stays awake until 930am he starts to get tired and i place him down- goes down easily and within 45 min is up screaming- i get him up and again in two hours wants to go for noon time nap- he again sleeps only 45 min and is up screaming he doesnt seem to know how to self soothe at this nap- but at night will do so- at times. the afternoons are horrid at times and he will only nap in the stroller for a wee bit until its time for bath and feed to bed at 7pm tosses and turns and sometimes doesnt make it to dream feed at 11pm this is one of those days right now! at wits end do i let him cry- some books say i should not go to him and wait a bit before i do at the noon nap but he gets sooo frantic and when i finally do go in he is sweaty and upset! i hate this part how do i get him to train for better napping? help when he does this he is so cranky all day going back to work and person who will watch him will have a tough time and of course i will then pick up a very cranky baby after work and tow others as well from school just hating life right now! please help. i have even tried to get him to sleep in swing swaddled and that doesnt work either how can a baby not sleep during the day but sleep better at night?

[lozzyblue]

Hi, sorry to hear you're having.a hard time. Have you thought about putting him down for first nap a little earlier? Say 9.15? At such a young age it could be as simple as overtiredness making it difficult for your lo to settle?

What time does he go to bed at night? Do you put down awake and he fall asleep by himself?

[lozzyblue]

Also do you do any type of wind down before he sleeps? Some babies need more than others.

[julantal]

i try to wait for the first yawn this seems to be a good guide in the morning my fear of putting him down earlier in am will be sooner that he gets up- not that im pushing him. he goes down easily- but then when he hits that 45 min intruder he wakes not sure when this phase ends or if i can help him "learn" how to resettle he slept well from 7pm til 11pm-- how is it that he can figure out how to wake and fall back asleep then but not at another nap?

[TaurielTest]

Has it got worse recently? 4 month sleep regression is very common, you'll find lots of threads on that here - I just mention this as knowing that it will pass might make you feel a bit better.
My two also had naps of 45 mins, it seemed to be the natural daytime sleep cycle length for them, but gradually they learned how to 'do the double' and settle for a 1.5 hour nap. Personally I don't leave to cry and IMO you can't teach resettling/self-soothe - it seemed to happen when they were ready. They slept longer in a sling, is that something you/your carer might try if you haven't already? www.slingguide.co.uk might help if you're interested in that. good luck.

[lozzyblue]

45 minutes is the length of a sleep cycle and it's very common for lo's to struggle through the transition from one to the next. If it were me, I'd try putting down slightly earlier, just by 10/15mins and seeing how it goes. Alternatively you could try to help him through the transistion by placing your hand on him, you'll probably notice he jolts awake but sometimes this firm pressure ir a pat on the back/bottom will be enough to send them back over. Does he nap in his cot?

[julantal]

yes he naps in his cot- i just feel like i'm so worried about sleep and lack of sleep- it just is hard once i settle down he seems up again- just tough right now- my heart sinks when i hear that cry i hope it gets better- goes down well- but then within a short time starts to wiggle and goes from light grunting to full blown screaming. i just feel like i have my hands full not to mention i also have two older children (under 5) and it's just tough woe is me!

[lozzyblue]

I totally get it! I also have a 4 month old, a 2.5 yr old and a just turned 4 yr old! Hard work but you'll get there.

Does lo take a dummy?

[julantal]

not really when he is falling asleep at night the dummy will help push him over the edge. i guess my biggest issue was he had been taking a two hour nap in the am and suddenly stopped it was sad for me-- but could it be related to being 4 mo or a growth spurt?

[emmyloo2]

Gosh that's hard. I remember those 45 minutes sleeps and your heart sinking when you heard the cry (AGAIN!). My DS (now 10.5 months) did this all the time. However, he did seem to get better and would sleep for 2-3 hours at a time. But it was hit and miss. I think I used to try and shush him once he woke and would rub his chest and try and get him to go back to sleep. If that didn't work then I would simply get him up and then put him back down for another nap later on. I never used to let him cry for long. I would let him "whinge" a little bit but if it became full blown crying then I would get him straight up because I don't like to leave him crying.

Now he is still the same. Sometimes he will sleep for 2 hours no problems. Other times, 45 minutes and that's it. Once he wakes up now though there is no getting him back to sleep.

Have you thought about sticking him in the pram when he wakes at 45 minutes and trying to get some more sleep out of him that way?