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Feeling anxious about 3 month's sleeping

(15 Posts)
expuffinbookclub Fri 30-Sep-11 09:25:50

My DS is 13 weeks and I'm constantly worrying about his sleep. Some nights he sleeps 6 hours and then wakes twice more before morning. For me this is a good night. Other nights he is waking every 2-3 hours and often ends up in bed with me. I don't sleep well this way but he finds it settling as he is very wriggly. I moved him to his cot bed two nights ago and first night went well, next not so good. I breastfeed him to sleep and as I've posted elsewhere have decided this is on for us. But I can't help feeling everyone else's baby sleeps better. Friends from ante-natal have babies sleeping 7 hours regularly, even 1211! Am I the only mum still feeling exhausted at this stage? Do other mums find themselves constantly analysing and feeling anxious? In the day, my little one is very smiley and jolly and a good weight so my partner tells me not to worry and it will all be fine...

Albrecht Fri 30-Sep-11 11:13:47

Sounds totally normal to me (and I'd swop with you as ds is 15 months teething with molars and awake a lot more than that). I always figured sleep would just get better and better til they slept through but it goes through all kinds of ups and dpwns with developmental stuff, illness etc. So some of those with babies who sleep through now will have some wakeful nights later.

Also, sad to say, but remember some people lie about their babies sleep, to make them sound more in comtrol or whatever. Sometimes I say ds sleeps fine just because I don't want to get a lecture about what I should be doing or I'm just too knackered to go into it!

Do what you need to do to survive and enjoy your smiley baby. If you feel your anxiety is way out of proportion or ruling your life maybe talk to your hv or gp. I think its pretty normal though to be kindof concerned about everything and compare to other babies, especially with your first.

EMS23 Fri 30-Sep-11 12:53:04

My DD is 10 months and yes, I still feel exhausted, constantly anxious and analyse her sleep. She is a good sleeper (since about 4 - 5 months) but has had all sorts of ups and downs through illness, teething etc..
I'm currently on day 6 of less than 2 hours sleep a night as she is ill and wants to be held all night.
Other people lie and your DP sounds fab - listen to him/ her!

LilyPilley Fri 30-Sep-11 16:52:58

My DD is 13 weeks on Monday and my situation is very much the same if not worse. I rock her to sleep at 7 but can only put her down in her cot at 9 earliest (or she wakes in 10 minutes). Then she wakes at 10, 2:30, 6 and 7:30 wakes. Those are fit feeds - she will wake in between too!! I'm shattered and resort to putting her in my bed sometime during the night. I don't thunk there are any easy solutions. Just know that you're not the only one out there. Drives me nuts when other mums are shocked to hear DD doesn't sleep through - it's not as if I wake her!

Now for a afternoon nap!! Zzzzzz

Octaviapink Fri 30-Sep-11 19:12:47

Yes, other people lie - ignore them. At 13 weeks my ds was sleeping for 40 minutes between feeds - around the clock. Expect to be awake every couple of hours during the night (at least) for another six to sixteen months.

bex2011 Fri 30-Sep-11 19:15:17

My DS is 6 months and still wakes at least twice a night. The most helpful thing I read on here when he was tiny was to not have any expectations or set targets regarding sleep ie. sleeping through by 3 months as when it doesn't happen, you can't be disappointed. Also don't compare to other babies. I bet in a few weeks time some of those sleeping through babies will be giving their mums hell at 3 o'clock in the morning! My DS also slept in the bed withme after his first feed during the night as I didn't think he would settle back in his cot. One night I tried putting him back in and he fell straight asleep! Good luck and it will all hey easier.

RitaMorgan Fri 30-Sep-11 19:18:39

My 14 month old only sleeps through about once a week... But at 3 months he was sleeping 8 hours every night! So having a good sleeper now doesn't guarantee anything, and equally a baby who wakes every few hours at 3 months (which is totally normal) may well start sleeping through in the next few months.

exoticfruits Fri 30-Sep-11 19:21:53

None of mine slept through until they were 2 yrs old.

JoinTheDots Fri 30-Sep-11 19:22:29

Oh yes, I used to obsess about DDs sleep, reading all the sleep threads, buying the books, and worrying that somehow I was to blame for her (within normal range) sleep patterns as the were much worse than my friends babies.

The acceptance came at some point that she would improve in her own time or with gentle persuasion from me (no cry sleep solution for us) and that acceptance was the best thing ever. Trust your baby and yourself. This too shall pass. Enjoy the smiles, cuddles and babyness while it lasts. You are doing a great job

pozzled Fri 30-Sep-11 19:22:39

My DD2 is 16 weeks. She probably sleeps a bit better than your DS, but only because we're co-sleeping- not by choice but because it's the only way I can get her to settle. TBH most nights I have no idea what time she wakes, and some nights I couldn't tell you how often. I just wake up, latch her on and go back to sleep.

With DD1 I knew exactly when she woke and like you used to analyse and compare with other mums. Now I'm just not bothered by it because I know that it will get better and she'll sleep through in her own time. And so will your DS! Your partner is right, it will all be fine... it's not an easy stage but it will pass.

welliesandpyjamas Fri 30-Sep-11 19:25:13

He's only 13 weeks. They can't sleep all night. They need feeding and comfort.

Your dh is right. It will all be fine. Baby sounds normal and happy. smile

lostinindia Fri 30-Sep-11 20:15:47

You're very lucky to get a 6 hour stretch. I've not had that in 3 years. DD1 slept through at 21mnths. At 20mnth and 3wks she was waking every hour. DS1 is waking quite a bit during the night but I've decided not to count how many times and just accept it. We're co-sleeping and BFing.

Ignore everyone else, all babies are different. Your baby will sleep through, in fact they already are. Sleeping through is classed as 5+hours in a row. Congratulations!!

emilycharles Wed 05-Oct-11 10:22:35

Hi, This is from an article I read. Hope it can be of some help.

There will be days that you think you’ll never get to sleep again. In the meantime, try to get some rest and sleep whenever you can. The baby won’t be sleeping through the night for several weeks, perhaps months. While he’s adjusting to the routine of night and day, you won’t be able to sleep through the night until he does.

Until he’s sleeping through the night, try to sleep when he sleeps. Many new mothers try to do everything at once, and start cleaning or doing the washing once the baby goes down for a nap. You’ll only make yourself more tired if you try to be supermum.

If you can get some help with the cleaning and washing, by all means, do so. If you can have a friend or relative in to watch the baby for an afternoon while you catch some much-needed sleep, try to take advantage of that whenever you can.

When you’ve been so busy all day with new baby chores and everything else you have to do to maintain a household, and possibly take care of older siblings as well, it can be hard to wind down just because everyone else is asleep.

Make some routines to help yourself unwind at night. Take a warm bath – not too hot, hot water can be stimulating – and play some relaxing music. Avoid caffeine throughout the day and especially at night. Drink water or decaffeinated or herbal tea. If foods that have a lot of preservatives or sodium can make you jumpy, try to avoid those as much as possible. Try to eat very natural foods, such as salads, green vegetables, fruits, and warm healthy soups.

LittleWaveyLines Wed 05-Oct-11 12:02:15

Well my 3 month old sleeps initially 3 hours from 9pm to 12, then wakes at 2, 4, 6, then is up at 7. I can remember 2 occasions when she has slept more. Although she is the worst sleeper in our little antenatal class group, I am assured it's normal! She also never naps for longer than 45mins during the day - every 2 hours she has 30-40mins usually so I can't catch up on sleep that way.

Oh and yes, I'm exhausted too... and constantly analysing and anxious... in fact - are you sure you're not me? grin

expuffinbookclub Wed 05-Oct-11 16:26:50

It's very reassuring to hear your experiences. The last few nights have felt much more manageable, partly due to DS sleeping better and even taking himself back to sleep at 5am which proves he can drift off even if he doesn't usually at this stage and partly due to me grabbing daytime naps when I can. I also joined a Mum's group as realised I can't control his sleeping but can change my attitude and relax...haven't asked anyone about sleeping for a week now so am weaning myself off comparing! Oh also realised DS loves playing on a blanket in fresh air and I can chill out a bit while he happily stares at leaves x

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