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Sharing - do some children just not 'get it'?

(7 Posts)
KitKat84 Thu 29-Sep-11 22:20:32

My 5 y/o DS cannot/will not share. Anything. Everything is his and he won't even let his sister play with his toys. His sister is always willing to share her stuff with him but DS flatly refuses to do the same. He is like this at school and whilst playing with his friends too.
I'm not sure how to make him share. We've tried tried talking about it and I have tried reasoning but it goes right over his head. To him, they are his things.
Is there anything I can do to encourage it or will he 'get it' at some point?

yellowsubmarine41 Thu 29-Sep-11 22:24:05

My dd can be quite like this. Her brother is much more easy come, easy go about things.

It just seems part of her general intense, persisitent personality.

I'd be interested in others' experiences/opinions.

Daisy1986 Sat 01-Oct-11 21:43:37

I saw a episode of Supernanny or similar programme where the children shared one toy with a sibling for 5 minutes and worked on extending the time. They also had one toy each that was theirs and special which they didnt have to share.

RandomMess Sat 01-Oct-11 21:45:05

Try insisting that it is "taking turns" and use a timer...

grumplestilskin Sat 01-Oct-11 21:47:39

dunno if this will pay off or not, but everytime someone shares with DS I make him say "thank you for sharing" and "ooo" and "ahh" about how lovely it is that X is sharing with him

so he sees that it can benefit him if he shares as people share back, otherwise sharing is always associated with negative feelings of loosing something.

in theory... watch this space grin

kw13 Mon 03-Oct-11 16:24:31

I did the some things are 'precious' and therefore not for sharing - and other things can be shared. Definitely with the 'taking turns' that is much more understandable as a concept than 'sharing' - which can feel very wooly!

BertieBotts Mon 03-Oct-11 17:08:04

I think it is a developmental thing, and a difficult one. For many children even if they know that a toy is communal (e.g. at toddler group, nursery, school or whatever) they still regard it as "theirs" for the period that they are choosing to play on it and get very upset when another child tries to join in or take another part of the toy.

I agree with turn taking as this is easier to process - being more specific in what you are asking too. So (this doesn't always work depending on the situation) with a toy which has many parts, like a train set or bricks or whatever, try asking him to choose some bricks for the other child to play with, or ask questions like "How could you play with this together?" or "Can you think of a game with the <toy> which takes two people?"

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