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Normal behaviour in a 6 yr old girl

(9 Posts)
vanessaw200 Wed 28-Sep-11 12:24:44

My daughter is currently under the child developement team for assessment for ADHD.

When she started school, there was concerns over her lack of attention and concentration and was referred to the school nurse. This has improved and school are now very happy with her.

At home, it's different, she talks excessively, she frequently leaps around the house, can leap about in front of the telly whilst watching it, climbs over the furniture, runs around the house, doesn't listen, is in another world, has imaginary friends that she uses different voices for, never walks in a straight line, she can leap around whilst out walking, just wanders off tho has learnt to look back, disobeys, she dances/runs up and down the conservatory (it's her playroom and trashes it) to music and noisy to boot. She constantly fidgets!! she can be quite hyper sometimes

Now I realise that some of this is normal 6 year old behaviour but where can I find out what is normal and what's not normal ????

At school, we have TAC meetings (Team Around the Child) and they want to refer me/my daughter to a Family relief worker to help cope with her behaviour, to come up with strageties but this is making feel very uncomfortable, these meetings have been making feel very uneasy. They told me at the last meeting, it was me who had the issues and I need help to cope. They felt it perfectly ok for my daughter to be bouncing around my house, she isn't exactly quiet about and it does sound like someone using a hammer sometimes.

Her paedatrician has says I need to go to support groups to get help, which is fine because I can go along and just talk to people.

She is very popular school and the other girls like her but they seem so much more calmer.

Anyhow, anyone know where I can find out more information, please

MumblingRagDoll Thu 29-Sep-11 00:31:55

So if they feel it's fine to have her leaping about like that, have they also told school that?

I mean..it wasn't you who asked for help was it?

Some of the traits you list are similar to my own DD who is jut turned 7....she also doent listen, climbs and sometimes sings/makes weird noises. I out it down to her age...and silliness!

What do you do when your DD climbs or acts irritatingly? Personally I tell her to get down/stop it...and if she doesn't then I give warning...."Get off the table now or your DVD player is going and you wont get your Friday night DVD in Bed!" that usually works because she knows I mean it!

If she doesn't get down then the DVD player goes in the attic! Untill she's proved she can be reasonable. I'm not very strict...I probably let her do things other parents wouldn't...but I dont allow dangerous, rude or destructive behaviour.

So no hitting, no climbing indoors and no answering back etc.

Does your DD need extra excersise maybe?

MumblingRagDoll Thu 29-Sep-11 00:32:45

And does your DD get on with her work ok? Or not? In school I mean. how is her reading and writing etc?

vanessaw200 Thu 29-Sep-11 14:24:14

Thanks for your reply.

It was the school who said it was fine, they along with the family relief worker, said it was ok. School said what's wrong with her leaping about the house ??? Erm apart from the fact she could get hurt, damaged something, it's noisy, it makes the house shake.

When being annoying, she gets told to get off/down etc, if warning doesn't work then her card gets turned (we follow the card behavourial system from school) and if her card gets turned, I confiscate her DS for the day, she knows I'll do it as well.

Her Paedatrician says we should get her into after clubs. She does Street Dance after school once a week but absolutley refuses to do any other clubs ie running or girls football etc

In school, she's doing really well, top group for reading, phonics, tho saying that she won't do any homework

BarbarianMum Thu 29-Sep-11 20:19:03

If she can't run/jump in the house (and I totally get why not) then is there the space/equipment (trampoline/ climbing frame) outside where she can work off some energy.

Obviously this isn't a cure for ADHD (if this is what she has) but my 2 boys are totally impossible indoors unless they have some vigorous outdoor exercise each and every day - they literally climb the walls and hurl themselves off/over things. On days where they have no sport we walk or spend an hour in the park.

vanessaw200 Thu 29-Sep-11 20:56:35

Thanks BarbarianMum

She does have a trampoline, tho now hardly uses it. She does like to sing and dance in her playroom and run up and down the playroom. She does run around the playground (knowing my child).

In the past, we have been out and about for several hours, where she can run around, it makes no difference

tiggyhop Thu 29-Sep-11 21:05:51

My DD (who will be 6 soon) cartwheels everywhere, gets out of bed by doing a back kickover and watches tv upside down. She needs very little sleep and just has a lot of energy. No idea whether that helps, but you asked for ideas of what is normal (my DD may well not be, but we aren't concerned about ADHD, she's just always been high energy since she was tiny= never slept, never walked anywhere only ran, etc, etc. Gymnastics was a saviour - something positive that she could practise and we could give her praise for - and it slightly takes the edge off the energy....

vanessaw200 Fri 30-Sep-11 11:28:33

Thanks tiggyhop

If only my daughter would go to Gymnastics, I've said she can go to whatever she wants to help use up her energy. She does Streetdance but anything else she has no interest in and in fact gets narky if we talk about it

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 30-Sep-11 11:39:11

Sounds normal to me too.
DD1 (6.5) used to do 1h of ballet/day, plus running in the park for 1h and still fidget/dance around the TV. But she can sit down for drawing.... for a bit. She is more active than many 6 yo girls but there is no concern about ADHD.

What your describe in your OP is "normal", if the school has no concern it might be more of a discipline problem. i.e. she has to listen to you and respect your house.

Also if she is top set she might not need homework as it is very boring for a kid who get it straight and don't forget to do it again and again... She might need something more challenging (which might help her behaviour too)

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