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Discipline help please!!

(6 Posts)

DS is 2.6 and at times lovely, funny and a bright child (not bragging nursery said he is, honest!!) but at other times is a completely different child. Biting, hitting, throwing toys, screaming at me, running around like a loon! We do the naughty mat which works quite well at home but I don't no what to do about it when we're out. Any ideas would be appreciated...

nametapes Tue 27-Sep-11 09:57:17

When you are out , take him to one side very firmly and get down to his level and look him in the eye sternly and let him know you are very very cross with him for his bad behaviour. Keep hold of him firmly , give him no freedom to run away. When he has calmed down , tell him to say sorry to you.
Biting and hitting is horrible and if any of my 3 children ever bit someone i would be down on him like a ton of bricks.
Screaming at you is a no no. Get up close to him the minute he screams at you and take hold of him firmly saying, "You do NOT shout at mummy" "It is bad behaviour!" Have been a mum for 23 yrs and a nanny for 10 yrs . When you see how they are as teenagers you wish you had been more strict/firm.
At 2 yrs +, a child is in need of some discipline and can understand when he has done something wrong.... but ONLY if you show him it is wrong. It is so important he doesnt ever bite, especially when he is at nursery .
For his own good be firm, be consistent and be strict.
Carry through what you have said.
When is he being good and doing nothing wrong, show your love and tell him how you love him when he is quiet/calm, helpful, kind, patient, doing as you ask. Give cuddles and kisses for good behaviour..., , ,i.e. reinforce the good.
Good luck.

nametapes Tue 27-Sep-11 10:00:27

P.S. Dont worry when you are out and your have to tell him off. I think older people especially admire and respect the fact that you are disciplining your child. Most dont think "OMG what a horrible mother". . . . they know children need boundaries and control. Society has become too wishy washy in the way we discipline our children.

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 27-Sep-11 10:06:12

I agree with nametapes. I would add that prevention helps and one of the ways all this reduced with ds was to be hawk like at toddler groups. He does it out of frustration so the more I can avert the situations the better. I try to sit near where he's playing and then help him manage confrontations over toys etc. Usually it is a two way situation where the biting/hitting comes after he has been treated unfairly and a toy taken etc. So I help him with that and try to be fair to him and the other child. From watching I have learnt that he doesn't hit or bite to get a toy, but put of frustration when his limited language doesn't work. Might be different triggers for your dc. I never ever ignore or condone the behaviour and on the very rare occasions now when it happens I pretty much do as nametapes suggests. Just would advise pre empting and preventing too. Bit frustrating not getting so much tea and chat but there you go.

MarnieM Tue 27-Sep-11 14:04:03

I'm having similar problems with my 2.2yr old son. He lashes out mainly at me and his 8mth old brother and I know the latter is mainly to get my attention (he clobbered him over the head with a big metal toy porsche the other day). He doesn't bite, just hits or throws toys. I have tried a 'naughty step', taking toys away and making him face a corner. The problem I have with the naughty step and the corner is that he moves instantly so I have to almost hold him there, which means he has my full attention. I do explain that is not nice and to say sorry, which he does say. The more stern I get the louder he laughs. My worry is that he is now starting to lash out at other children (if they take a toy off him or if he wants what they are playing with). I have asked his nursery if he is hitting other children and so far he isn't and they are now keeping an eye out. I have caught him pushing a couple of my friends kids and on a recent visit to a kid-friendly pub, in the sandpit, he threw a digger at another child's head. I took him away from the sandpit and told him that is not nice etc. etc. I don't always get down on his level to tell him off so will make sure I do that from now on. Any further advice greatly appreciated.

pyjamasinbananas Tue 27-Sep-11 14:07:27

I got an electronic naughty mat off amazon that's been brilliant. It has an alarm to let you know if they get off so you haven't got to watch them all the time and plays a tune at the end so they know they're finished smile

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