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Behaviour/development

9 weeks old won't sleep in crib

10 replies

Badgerwife · 26/09/2011 17:29

At the moment I get to sleep in a quarter of a bed as the only way that we get any sleep at night is if we co-sleep. I am getting a sore neck and arms from sleeping in really awkward positions. I want my half of the bed back!!

I feed her in bed and she falls asleep on me, I can then lower her to her own quarter of bed and she will sleep for hours. If I try to lower her into the crib after feeding, she immediately wakes up and is then wide awake, kicking, wriggling and eventually crying, and will not settle at all. If I pick her up from the crib then, she falls asleep within minutes.

Co-sleeping is the only way I have found to get ANY sleep.

I just don't know how to change this, I am worried it will become a habit. The frustrating thing is that she sleeps fine on her back in the day, I put her downstairs in her bouncy chair with no problem.

I would welcome any suggestion.

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pettyprudence · 26/09/2011 17:50

Ah she'll grow out of it, nothing stays the same in the first 12 weeks. DS would ONLY sleep n my chest and then he would ONLY sleep in the pram and now he will ONLY sleep in his cot (6 months now). Surprising how someone so tiny can take up so much bed though.

Sorry I don't have any practical advice though :)

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ffried · 26/09/2011 21:39

been there done it and nearly 3 years later am still paying for it! you must train her to fall asleep on her own in her own bed and yes this does mean u might need to leave her to cry... its crap and heartbreaking butr look into it and give it a chance, your life will be a million times easier, promise

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yellowsubmarine41 · 26/09/2011 21:49

My dd was like this (without the sleeping fine in the day bit). I let her co-sleep with me, regularly trying to put her in her moses basket. Turned out that she hated the moses basket, but was sometimes okay in her cot. Went into her own room at 6 months and slept much better.

I co-slept with ds (who did sleep fine in the day), and he was much harder to get into a cot/sleeping for any length of time and just starting to sleep reasonable well ie waking up at 6am at 2 years old.

In both instances, I turfed dh out in the cause of a decent nights sleep.

Sooooo, you don't know what the consequences of co-sleeping will be, but the reality is that you need sleep NOW. If dd sleeps in your bed, let her and focus on finding the most comfortable and safe position for you. No pillows, duvet only to your waist and not on her (I slept in my dressing gown) etc.

Good luck.

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FrumpyPumpy · 26/09/2011 22:27

Have you tried the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley? I am re Reading the nc nap solution as DD sleeps ok at night but not so wellnin the day.

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Badgerwife · 27/09/2011 10:20

Thanks all; I might have to invest in one of those routine books then. the problem with leaving baby to cry is that she's in our room, and that's fine at 6.30pm but not so much at 3.30am, when DH has to get up and go teach in the morning.

I'd sworn I would just let baby do her thing but then I also thought she would be the perfect baby and of course would sleep in the cot from day 1...

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JeelyPiece · 27/09/2011 11:55

My 6mo has always been the same and I had no choice but to bed share - I love it now and keep putting off trying him in his cot again. It's so easy for bfing and it feels natural to have him close to me. It means he never has to cry in the night (barring teething etc!).

"the no-cry sleep solution" is not a routine book; as its tagline says it's about gentle ways to help your baby sleep through the night. This doesn't mean leaving her to cry at all. Please don't leave your 9 week old to cry! Babies need their mothers/fathers, particularly when they are so new.

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nethunsreject · 27/09/2011 12:04

No! Not routines yet! NCSS is great, very gentle. I like routines, but they don't work if imposed! And please, don't leave a wee baby to cry - even horrid people sleep trainign 'experts' advise against it till 6 mths or 1 year.

9 wks is tiny! It is entirely normal for a young baby to want t be near a warm parent in the night - it's a built in protection and safety feature!

It won't last.

PLEASE do not worry about rod-for-your-own-back shite. Things are in constant flux - this phase will pass and you will miss the snuggles.

She is the 'perfect' baby and you are her 'perfect' mummy, aqnd are doing things just right! Trust yourself.

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nethunsreject · 27/09/2011 12:06

Oh, and a routine will become apparent as time goes by. Ds1 found a nice wee rhythm by about 3 mths, ds2 was nearer 6, but it changes as time passes too.
Cuddles and feeds are all that matters.

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JeelyPiece · 27/09/2011 12:12

nethuns yes about the routine - DS has worked his own out with minimal help from us, we have followed his cues. We can now put him down for daytime naps most of the time too except during his current phase of rolling onto tummy every 5 mins and waking himself up!

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Badgerwife · 27/09/2011 12:39

Thank you so much, your comments are soooo reassuring! I couldn't leave her to cry at all, it just seems horrible and mean, hence why I'm putting up with the cramped neck. I also love having her in the bed, and falling asleep on me in the day, as it might be the only time she lets me cuddle her this much, I might as well enjoy it. But I was worried about it becoming the only way she can fall asleep (and the lack of bed space, unless we buy a king size bed), having read so much about babies then being like this years later. You do get such opposite views, it's very confusing. I will definitely look for the No Cry Sleep book, it sounds like what I need.